why isn't he calling??

[sweetione]

Hi everyone.

 

I need advise or maybe just words of encouragement. I feel like I can't talk to my friends anymore because they are getting tired of listening to me talk about the ex.

 

I have posted about my situation previously but just to recant briefly:

I went out with my boyfriend for 1 year--we got along fabulously--always laughing, having a good time, no problems that i could tell when while i was away on a trip he texted messaged me a breakup(April 4th). From that moment on my life has been empty and sad, no matter what i try to do. Sometimes i can forget for a few but never that long and i am tortured in my dreams so i never can get a good night sleep. We did meet up 3 different times since the breakup, because we were supposedly going to still "date" each other and date others because he felt that he went from one serious relationship into another one with mine(he was married for 5 years right before i met him and it ended badly).

 

As of today, I have had nc for 23 days. The last time we got together we went to dinner and hung out at his house, whereas i ended up staying over. Everything was great. In the morning he dropped me home but right before he went into his car trunk and handed me a bag of some clothes i had left in his nightstand that he doesn't even use. Actually it was only lingerie. This just killed me inside but i tried my best not to let him know just how bad. When he dropped me off he said he had a great time and that we would have to do it again. Then i asked if I would talk to him soon and he replied that he would call. Well, now it has been over 3 weeks and i am starting to lose it, on the inside anyway. Why isn't he calling? Has he met someone else? I guess I just don't understand any of this. I was nothing but loving. But then i hope that because i have been understanding and loving ALWAYS(even during the breakup) that he will come back to me.

 

I have made a few decisions in these last 3 weeks, one is that i will not sleep with him. When he calls(please) that i will not immediately answer and i will talk less than 10 min and will end the call(love to chat more but got to go....something like that). And if he wants to get together i will have plans. I think that if he is thinking of me at all, he assumes i am here waiting for him anytime he wants and he can't think that.

 

My problem/concern is why hasn't he called? Will he call or was my bag of clothes the final goodbye? Does he think of me? Or do you think the exes just close any thoughts of us? I have read that it takes men longer for them to hit the reality...is that true?

 

I wish I was stronger. I wish I could just say goodbye, your loss. But my heart just won't let me. I loved him and I believed the day I met him that he was the one i would spend my life with and during our 12 months together, it was just reinforced since we got along like 2 peas in a pod.

 

I don't know if i am just rambling and not making sense but I would really appreciate words of encouragement. I read previously that you need to stay positive but I am having a hard time.

[AB38]

When he calls(please) that i will not immediately answer and i will talk less than 10 min and will end the call(love to chat more but got to go....something like that). And if he wants to get together i will have plans. I think that if he is thinking of me at all, he assumes i am here waiting for him anytime he wants and he can't think that.

 

Hun, you are using NC to your detriment, sorry to say. I think it is best for you now to let him go. Please, do not take his calls or texts. You cannot read his mind, and by doing so, it is driving you crazy.

 

If he comes back, it will be an added bonus. If he doesn't, then you have used NC for its intended purpose, to heal and move on. Make Sense?

[sweetione]

I don't understand why you think I am using nc as an detriment. And why do you think i need to let him go?

[EnolWolf]

That bag of clothes thing sounds terrible. I'm sure he's not saying goodbye (if he isn't that type of guy) this is probably his way of taking time off from you. And he doesn't want to be reminded of you. I do this to my girl sometimes (put away her pictures and poems). I don't do it to play games, but to see if she'll miss me and is worth pursuing. It has also made our relationship stronger in the past.

 

The fact that he texted you a breakup seems extremely odd for someone his age and has been married for 5 yrs. Something about that doesn't click with me.

 

Not speaking to him when he calls or shortening phone calls could work, but keep in mind that this could be considered "playing games" or a form of manipulation. thats not good at all. if he truly loves you he'll come back.

If you love him its ok to express it.

[AB38]

I think by the way you said that, it sounds like you have a plan for when he calls. By having a plan, and we all rationalize like that, you are expecting something positive to come from it, it's playing games like the previous post said.

 

I just want you to be careful. I want you to prepare for the worst, you will be better off in the long run. If you truly love him, give him the space and yourself the space and use it constructively. Maybe he is playing games with you, or just evaluating everything.

 

The other alternative....have a sit down with him, tell him that you love him and try a clear the air. And no, he hasn't forgotten about you.

[sweetione]

I am not a game player AT ALL. I think I am too nice actually and my point in planning it out ahead of time is not to make any mistakes. I want him to want me and to think that he can lose me, that i am not just sitting here while he is out doing god knows what. I just want some control back.

[romantic sweetheart]

Hi there. I have been in your situation; I know the tremendous pain you are feeling. I know the questions, the longings, the ups and downs, the seemingly endless battle fo staying positive. Like you, I met someone who seemed like to be exactly what I needed. His personality soothed me. I felt like I could be completely myself with him. We had so much fun together, and we were inseperable. Then one day it just all fell apart. I found out some things that shattered my whole world. I tried to work things out with him--we were off and on for so long. He eventually moved away, which was terrifyingly hard, but also helped me to get through a lot of the pain I was feeling.

 

There were times when we did not talk for weeks. Like you, I wondered why he wasn't calling. I wondered if he was thinking of me, and if so, why wasn't he contacting me? Would he come back? When? What should I do? The truth is, he is thinking of you. No one who is human can just walk away from someone without a single thought or feeling. It may seem that men simply forget about us, but they don't. Whatever your ex is working through is causing him to pull away and reevaluate what he wants. My boyfriend did the same thing. His reasons were very hurtful, but there was nothing I could do to change him.

 

When you get right down to brass tacks, if a man truly loves you and wants you, he will do whatever is in his power to keep you in his life. The man who will be your soulmate will cherish you and the relationship will be steady and certain.

 

I am still struggling with my grief, and I can tell you, ,it does get easier. I know this is such a frustrating thing to hear. You just don't want people to keep saying "It will get better" or "You will find someone else" because right now, you just can't think about that. All you can feel is the pain of your loss. Go ahead and feel this pain. Cry, mourn your loss. Ask all the questions. Write out your feelings here. Trust that your situation will work its way out one way or another. We can't always control what happens to us. This is the hardest thing to accept when love comes to an end.

 

Keep strong. Everything is going to be all right. Your questions won't be answered now. Your pain won't disappear overnight. Let the process of grieving take you through the steps. Acknowledge all you are feeling and understand what you are experiencing is what is so fundamentally real about our human existence. The fact that you are capable of sorrow means you are also capable of great joy. There will come a day when this joy will be present in your life, your reward, your light, your destiny.

 

God bless

[BrotherD]

sweetione

 

I share your concerns as well.

 

This is the way I'm handling not getting "the" phone call..

 

1.)Think of this relationship as a job that you quit or were fired from. It forced you to find other work and one day you wake up, and you realized that if you didn't move on you would have been working at the same stupid job where you hated you task, boss, co-workers etc...As Cheryl Crow says "A change, will do you good..."

Every time I switched gears career wise, IT ALWAYS ENDED UP FOR THE BEST, ALWAYS. I'm trying to think that in time I will wake up, in a new relationship with a sane person, capable of reciprocating love, and I will go "what on God's green earth was I doing?"

 

2.) The quickest way to put a "stake in the heart" of our situations is to find somebdy new. I know this is hard at this time. Believe me I know. Agony is an understatement. But! I was in another relationship once and I was also "rejected." I didn't take it as hard as the current situtation, but was upsetting nonetheless. I soon met someone else, and voila! I WAS OVER IT and I never thought of that person again in a romantic way. We even are friends to this day. DATE SOMEONE ELSE!

 

I think time and NO CONTACT is the answer. It will hurt. It's not fair. I hate it. etc

 

Stay the course, adopt a "wait and see" attitude.

 

FOR NOW, THE RELATIONSHIP IS OVER. YOU MUST NOT CALL! YOU WILL EITHER

 

a.) Make a fool of yourself (take it from me, I know)

b.) They will snub you or say something nasty

c.) You will pick up where you left off. Which may not be a bad thing, but things weren't going so well where we left off. Why would they be different now?

 

Take your pick. All scary options no? NO CONTACT looks awful good after that list ?

 

Hell, you might even get that phone call. DO NOT WAIT AROUND. Dust yourself off and meet somebody new...

 

Hang in there, I feel your pain.

[Mix Maxster]

Ok, but two things. One it could take so long for someone new to come around. Two how do you deal with the confusion of losing that first love and being uncertain if it will work with the new person. NOt because they may not have th same thing, but that you could have been so sure and then to be unsure. What will stop you from dating others after the next one and the next one? And what will stop your now gf from thinking the same?

[Mar]

I want him to want me and to think that he can lose me, that i am not just sitting here while he is out doing god knows what. I just want some control back.

 

That's playing a game, right there. Maybe "game" is too strong a word, but you're trying to gain control in a breakup, which is rather an oxymoron.

 

You gave yourself and he took it. He ended the evening with a breezy "I hope we can do this again sometime" which is nonchalant enough that there's no set date, no set plan, and he could have just been implying spending the night together, no strings attached. (After all, quite a few guys would take that sort of relationship over any other!) The handing back of the bag of clothes would tell me that I'm being subtly told that I'm NOT welcome to leave my things there, and that there could possibly be someone else in the ex's life who might not appreciate seeing my things lying about.

 

I'm sorry to sound so harsh, but I think you're building up false hope right this second. If you want a definitive answer as to whether you and he are going to get back together or not, you have to ask him that point blank. No begging, no "I miss you/love you's", just a straightforward question of whether he sees you two together again in the future. And chances are good even then that he'll say he doesn't know, because how CAN one know such a thing? You don't until you get there.

 

Leave him alone now. He hasn't called because you two are no longer together and he has no obligation to. He's healing, and the idea is that you're supposed to be doing the same, not dwelling on how to get him back or how to "regain some control." You've heard several people say before, "give them a chance to miss you." Well, same holds true here. If he's not calling, it's because he's not ready to or doesn't want to for whatever reason right now. Give him a chance to miss you. Work on YOURSELF, instead of concentrating so much on his actions. I know it's hard, and that it hurts.......we've all been there, some worse than others. But it's all you can do now, if you want to get past this. And we're here to help along the way.

 

 

Mar

[BrotherD]

Mix Maxster

 

Here's what I think about the points you've mentioned

 

One it could take so long for someone new to come around.

 

Agreed. This is the hideous part. Being out and about and not seeing anyone that "floats your boat.." Meeting someone new is the "penicillin"

that will knock this "infection" out...

 

I think this is a good analogy. We are sick with grief and heartache. If you were throwing up all night with the flu (which I would prefer after what I've been through) Wouldn't we want to get better?

I think this is a turning point (for me anyway...)

 

how do you deal with the confusion of losing that first love and being uncertain if it will work with the new person

 

Life is uncertain. What is certain is your ex-relationship wasn't working.

If it was you'd be humping on the kitchen table, not posting here (he he)

You took a chance on the last one, you'll have to take a chance on a new one.

 

What will stop you from dating others after the next one and the next one? And what will stop your now gf from thinking the same?

 

The relationship is stalled. Moving on is the only answer. I'm sorry.

If anything will bring our ex's back, it's when we fall for another. You can bet your sweet bippy that's what'll happen too. The minute you find someone new and there is absolutely no residue lingering from the old relationship, well by God that's when you'll get the call. So speed up the process and find a new sweetheart...

 

I want my friggin life back. I'm tired.

 

Aren't you?

[hurt and confused]

sweetione-

 

I can totally relate to your situation. I am separated from my husband and he is being very ambivilant about whether or not he wants to reconcile. We still have sex together, but I think afterwards that we are back together, I just take it for what it is. I'm sure there is still some spark between you and your ex or he wouldn't even be having sex with you. Unless of course he is using you. Only you will know the answer to that. Just try to keep your eyes open and don't worry about why he isn't calling. Tell yourself that he isn't calling because he isn't capable of calling right now. He is doing the best he can. I know how frustrating it is to see that our ex's seem to be able to move on with their lives while we stay home and weep. I have learned though, that if you force yourself to stay busy, time goes by a lot faster and day after day you get stronger. Just don't let your guard down too quickly when he does call to see you again.....and he will...

[a_little_sparrow]

brotherD,

 

As you said in your last post there are different ways that each of us cope with the breakup. I'm not sure that going out and finding someone right away is the best response, mainly because it's kind of dishonest to the new person. If you're just using this new person as the penicillin to spoil the infection, you might find yourself very soon in a situation where you have to deal with another person's emotions.

 

That doesn't mean sweetieone should stay at home waiting for that one phone call, and planning how she'll respond to that one phone call. It's great to get out and just see other people, to remind yourself that this isn't the end of the world--after all, there's a whole other world out there. But it's important to be honest with yourself, and I think most people would want to avoid using someone else for the sake of salving some prior relationship that is currently infecting them.

[d346]

I definitely agree with everyone... it's best to focus on yourself whether or not he comes back. It's what got me through my situation.

 

If he does call, I do think you may want to convey to him your distaste of the way he broke up with you. I was angry with my ex for they way he broke up with me (a series of emails saying he thought it was best we didn't talk for a while), and ultimately him telling me he didn't know what he wanted and wanting to just "be' for a while. And our first few conversations I told him all this, I told him that he dealt with the whole situation poorly and after all our time together I deserved more. Me expressing this to him, coupled with me not contacting him, got him thinking -really thinking that not only was he was going to lose me, but he F-ed things up by the way he acted. He became very apologitic, and wanted to know if we can talk again and start over. I must admit I found it very empowering that the tables were turned.

 

it sounds to me that this guy you dated was really immature and unfair to you by breaking up in a text message. I understand you want things to work out (we all do) but i think that although you are nice and trying to be understanding, you shouldn't be a doormat either. Not only does that give guys (or girls) permission to treat you that way (get off the hook easy) but they'll probably respect you less too!

 

granted I'm not the expert on men (I am perhaps reconciling with my ex, and sometimes I do the wrong things) But I thought I'd give some advice!

[sweetione]

I just saw my ex! I went to a festival and there he was. I saw him from a distance and he came over to me. He was with a guy friend and I was with my girlfriend. We stood there and talked for about 45 min. It was nice but there were a few uncomfortable moments when you think maybe you should walk away but not really wanting to. Nothing was discussed of any importance just small talk. But I did find out that he isn't dating anyone yet. And I know for sure that he broke up with me because he started dating me right after his divorce and didn't give himself any time to himself. I know this because my ex went to use the bathroom and i asked his friend " is he doing ok" and his friend blabbed it all out. I told his friend that I Loved my ex and was trying to give him space. His friend said that he thought that was a good idea and that there were a lot of other men that would be interested in me. That really annoyed me. I just said that I didn't want to talk about it.

 

I don't know what to think...I don't think this relationship will be back together anytime soon. It makes me so sad. I lost my best friend and i don't know how to make it better. I am not sure if I should do no contact or just try to be his friend without any pressure about getting back together and then when he is ready I will be there. When we talk we never argue or fight and I haven't mentioned anything about our relationship since 2 weeks after we broke up. All our conversations are just about what we have been doing and the people we both know. I know NC is all about healing and being able to talk to the person w/o pressure or arguments. But what if when we talk it is pleasant? Is NC still what I should be doing?

 

Is there anyone out there that has been in this situation? Being involved with a recently divorced man???

[DragonGirl724]

in response to your last post:

 

ive dealt w/ a man comin from a verrry serious relationship(s) in his past. not a divorced man but a guy who had 2 gfs spreading for the past 7 yrs of his life. so married/divirced state of mind yes. my ex met me before he broke up w/ his ex of 5 yrs & they broke up & he moved into me real fast i had to slow things down & make sure i wasnt no rebound chick b4 goin any further. i made him wait a few months. but regardless he had my heart form the minute i saw him & he broke up w/ me 7-8months later for the same reasons u said :

 

"And I know for sure that he broke up with me because he started dating me right after his divorce and didn't give himself any time to himself. I know this because my ex went to use the bathroom and i asked his friend " is he doing ok" and his friend blabbed it all out. I told his friend that I Loved my ex and was trying to give him space. His friend said that he thought that was a good idea "

 

i am givin him the break of him bein 21 & never being single w/ his boys since the age of 16 & giving him the benefit of the doubt that he'll keep his word & come back to me when hes ready for a relationship (if im still around so to speak. and the fact that hes unsure if he wants to continue in college, persure pro-football, or become a mechanic so i see he has many difficult life decisions he has to make on his own w/o worrying about a GF. so i think im being very understanding & compassionate dealing with this breakup.

 

well as for crappy breakups, my ex broke up w/ my via phonecall. another pu$$$y move but watever. i demanded he see me in person & do it face to face & he didnt but 2 weeks later gave in & saw me. but regardless im not gonna ramble about my drama soap opera of a story. but jus so u know i am exactly wheer ur at. im so confused & i guess according to every1 else 'ive been playing the same MIND GAMES' as u have but i did it for the same intentions for CONTROL!! i know how u feel so anxious about not hearing from him etc. im with u on that one. wondering how can he be out havin all this fun & im cryin etc...well i know when my ex missed me & wanted to see me a month post break-up he told me 'dont think im goin out havin all this fun. im thnkin about u all the time & i feel terrible about hurting such an amazing girl like u. i hear songs that remind me of u i see people driving the same car as u, i feel so so so bad all the time." buttttt then again that was 1 month post breakup & here it is 3 & 1/2 months later. but yea im comfused too i feel like im walkin on eggshells sumtimes like i cant say too much wen he IMs me b/c i dont wanna be 'at his convenience' & i cut convos short by usin the 'hey i got to run' or the 'got to go im in the middle of sumthing' lines. i dont initiate contact w/ him if he IMs me i wait a few mins to respond & i keep convos upbeat short n simple. i dont want him gettin too comfortable with this cyber bull$#!T. we went form lookin at rings talkin bout marriage planning our money out etc. to being cyber buddies?!?! oh hell no!!!! lol i know ur frustration girl im right there w/ u. i wish i could more help. but im just as 'WTF???' as you are. the dreams are haunting me every nite i cant believe how much im in love with this guy. i never thought someone could unglue me as such. its crazy!!! watch SOMETHIGNS GOTTA GIVE its such a great movie about breakups etc. & watch SWINGERS. and kast piece of advice or watever u wanna call it (rambling/blabbering etc.) lol i had all of my exs come crawlin bak to me all about 5-6 months after breakup. and w/o thinkin i went about my life & did NC. but then again i wasnt in love w/ them so its a hell of a lot easier if there wasnt that bond of love, but regardless, curiosity brought them back & they realized what an amzing girl they passed up, some by dating other loser girls, & others just by having the time to think. i hope my ex realizes w/o having to date anyone else. *sigh*

 

best of luck,

-DG724

[Mun]

I have to say you handled that chance meeting with your ex very well.. I know what you are going through I have been in your shoes.

 

I sent you my story in pm's I hope that you find something useful. Keeping NC with him seems to have taken alot of negative pressure off of both of you. Since he is the one that broke it off your best bet is to leave it up to him to contact you. This way he makes a conscious decision to seek you out, it works better that way. You don't want to call him and risk being rejected or appear needy or pushy.

Take the things his friend said lighty ( about you finding someone else). Don't put too much into that.

Go out and have some fun...continue to do your own thing. Living your life well and being a fun person is very attractive.

Hang in there

[DragonGirl724]

sweet,

 

ya know i was talkin to a friend of mine who knows my ex b/c she dated his best friend & she told me hes probably not keepin in contact as much/not ready to see you b/c hes ashamed. ashamed that since the breakup ive bettered myself & done great in school & hes done nothin with himself at all. jus gets drunk & goes to tittybars w/ his boys who are all on the same single track. maybe your ex is ashamed of something..??? its a thought. and i feel that if someone is out gettin drunk each night of the week & spending their single lives in tittybars shows depression & since theyre all in it together its comforts their insecurities...do u think your ex is having the same issues maybe?

 

-DG724

[sweetione]

I really dont know what he is really feeling on the inside. I think he is confused and scared, that is my assumption. I don't think he is happy. But I know he is hanging out with his friends and drinking alot more but he doesn't go to strip clubs.

[hurt and confused]

I agree with you sweetione. He probably is very confused, I don't know about scared but I'm sure he doesn't want to hurt you more than he already has. Was your ex good about making initial contact in the past? If not, and you were the one who planned most of the stuff you did and kept in the touch during the day, etc. then I wouldn't expect it will be much different now. You don't want to repeat the same patterns that obviously didn't work. Once I backed off from my husband, he came back. There are success stories out there. You have to get away from the push/pull.

 

Be happy. If it's meant to be it will be. Tell yourself that every day. Plan some fun things to do with your friends or family. Go to the movies by yourself if you want to. Take a walk, get a puppy, just do something for yourself. Once he sees you aren't waiting around (and he doesn't have to hear this from you or someone, he will just know) he'll call. I promise. You might not even want to see him if he takes too long.

[sweetione]

I just got off the phone with the ex. I needed to better understand how he was feeling and I wanted him to know what i was feeling. I still don't know how to proceed but at least I understand more.

 

The conversation was pleasant. I almost started crying but i held it in. I told him all my feelings and my confusion of all this. I had asked him if he still loved me. And he said that he would always love me but that his feelings had changed. He doesn't know why, said it wasn't anything I didn't do or did, it just happened. I asked him if he thought that maybe in the future that we might get back together, he said he didn't know. I told him that i was glad he said that instead of definitely not. But he said he likes his life now. He doesn't want a relationship with anyone now. Although he has told me that he went on a few dates(but no-one special). He said he doesn't want to be unfair to me or lead me on, because i said that i wanted to be a part of his life, even if it was as friends.

 

I am feeling pathetic now. How is it that I can love this man so much, have given him nothing but love and he is able to let it go so easily. I don't understand that. Why can't i let go? I feel like i was begging for a bone.

 

We ended it that we would talk/see each other occasionally , as friends.

 

I am so tired of this pain...........

[sweetione]

I really screwed up.

[hurt and confused]

You didn't screw up sweetione. You are human. You want answers. That's the hardest part. There is always a reason why people fall out of love. He just doesn't want to be honest about his inner feelings so all he can do is just leave you hanging, saying the most generic break up stuff. It sounds like you do need to let this guy go.....for now anyway.

 

Next time you want to call him, ask yourself: is this just going to make me feel worse? is he going to magically say what i want to hear?

 

Talking about the relationship with him right now is just going to push him away further and yes, make you look pathetic. No one respects someone who seems needy and dependant on someone else to make them happy. I know you know this.

 

This may sound silly, but one thing that helped me was every time I started thinking about calling my husband or e-mailing him I would say out loud "STOP". I would say it sometimes 3 times and by then I would be laughing at myself because I sounded so ridiculous. It worked tho, and the moment passed. I also would go to Borders or the mall and just walk around when I was feeling the urge to make contact. Oh and one other thing I did - I called up an old friend (super good looking guy) and met him for a couple of beers, just as friends. We talked and laughed and he complimented me on how great I looked, etc etc. It gave me a huge boost of self esteem. You should try some of these things.

 

Good luck

[sweetione]

I wish i didn't need to hear it all and make myself look pathetic but now I know. No more guessing why it ended. I guess I still don't understand but now i know what he is feeling or lack of feelings. For now there is no hope.

Maybe in time, i am not giving up completely, but after hearing that his feelings are gone, what can I do? NOTHING- absolutely nothing. Before, I was trying to find the right answer, the right way to fix it but if he feelings are gone there isn't a damn thing I can do. My heart hurts so bad, beyond bad but it will get better somehow. And I am better off without someone who doesn't want me. I am special and if he doesn't want me then he wasn't right for me. As dorky as I was on the phone with him, I think it helped me. I had too much hope and everything I did was for him. Now everything I do will be for me. Maybe in time he will realize that he was wrong and I hope he does because I loved being with him. I loved everything but for my sanity I need to somehow let go.

 

God it is so sad, that something so wonderful was lost.

 

I guess I need to be strong, take care of me and I think the number one thing is to stop thinking about him constantly. Stop trying to come up with a solution or way for him to want me. And maybe that will be the thing that might have him want me again. Who knows. But enough of this pain!!! Pain be gone!!!!

[skynet74]

I don't understand why you think I am using nc as an detriment. And why do you think i need to let him go?

-------------

 

Well I tend to disagree with some on this forum when they say no contact should just be used to heal yourself. I think no contact is good for other reasons too. It gives the other party a chance to see what life is like without you. It also allows them to miss you and to clear their head of any confusion they may be feeling.

 

No Contact also evens the playing field a little. When someone breaks up with you The Ball is in their Court. Then they tend to treat you like crap just because they know they can get away with it. They know you are going to chase them like a little puppy dog right now as you cry at their feet. The only way to Counteract their little Power Trip is to take control back and show the Ex that you are fine without them. No Contact does this and from what I've heard it does it pretty effectively. Yes it helps you heal (but) more importantly for those who really want their EX back it will show them that you respect yourself enough not to put up with their Crap. In turn they will grow a new respect for you.

 

So I guess that No Matter what reason you are doing NO Contact for....... it will benefit you in the end either way.

 

 

 

 

John