Universe2 Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 If you were in love with a man who was in a happy healthy long-term relationship, but he also had very deep feelings for you though did not plan to leave his girlfriend, would you want him to share his feelings with you? Or would it be easier (less confusing) if he just kept it to himself? Basically, I'm in a situation where I care about this girl more than I ever have for anyone with the exception of my wonderful girlfriend whom I have no intention of leaving or cheating on. I'm still in love with my girlfriend. But I've found I have the capacity to have strong feelings that far surpass friendship for another. I have a very strong desire to fulfill her needs. She is a little bit younger (I'm 31, she's 23) and has never had a real relationship. She's never had anyone give her what she clearly deserves. I'm in a working situation with her where we spend a lot of time together and will have to continue to do so indefinitely. I would have been more careful to stave off this situation, but up to this point she was a lesbian. So I let my guard down. But now it's clear that her feelings for me have over-ridden her lesbian nature. I can tell she's having feelings of depression over it. She hasn't been sleeping. I really want to do the responsible thing. But I also have a strong desire to comfort her and show her that she is, indeed, loved by the man that she loves. Telling her how I really feel I'm afraid will simply heighten the intensity of her feelings and aggravate her confusion. It's like - "Hey, you win! I love you. But, at the same time, you lose because I'm gonna go be happy with someone else and you'll have to be alone." But not telling her, aside from being dishonest, will leave her wondering how strong my feelings for her really are. Can anyone give me some perspective on this? Link to comment
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