what's it like dating someone who's into drugs?

[arsenic_n_lace]

So I’m going to be going on a date with this guy and from his facebook page I can tell that he’s into smoking weed. I’ve never dated anyone who’s been into drugs before and I’m not really sure how I feel about it.

 

So I just want to know from people here who’ve dated guys who’ve smoked weed, how the relationship was. Did it change things? Was it a non issue? Did they turn into different people while doing the drugs?

[metrogirl]

Deal breaker for me. I couldn't be around someone that was high.

[doiiiieeezie]

You will never be more important to them than their drug of choice. I do know functioning members of society that use pot on a recreational basis, but with drug use comes deceit, selfishness and greed.

 

I would rethink the date, it's not worth the hassle.

[Mauxly]

Some people can handle weed and have a fully functioning life. Some people. Other people (maybe who already have underlying issues) simply can't handle it and become total slackers.

 

I'd say it depends on how much weed they smoke. Is it a lifestyle or a once in a while thing? If it is a lifestyle, err...no way. Why would you want to be around someone who is constantly altered? They don't even know who they are.

 

If it is a once in a great while thing I think it is OK, just so long as you don't have to be exposed to it or be around them when they are high often.

 

I think it is a very bad sign that you can tell by his Facebook that he's into the weed. I think people who advertize it like that are imature and it definitely points to the fact that it may be a lifestyle thing.

[Sanesoul]

It depends on the maturity. I have a LOT of friends who smoke pot on a regular basis, but they are responsible with it, and only use it at appropriate times. It's like drinking a beer or two in the evening.

 

They are absolutely normal and functioning adults.

[DrKitten]

I'm not all that into weed, but as far as drugs go it's one of the most harmless. As long as it isn't excessive, it's never been an issue for me. I know many people who prefer smoking it over drinking alcohol. Here in california it will be in the next election for legalization.

[sidehop]

It depends on the maturity. I have a LOT of friends who smoke pot on a regular basis, but they are responsible with it, and only use it at appropriate times. It's like drinking a beer or two in the evening.

 

They are absolutely normal and functioning adults.

 

I feel the same.

 

I rather date someone who were like this vs. someone that actually smoked cigarettes and drank heavily. But that's just my opinion. I know few responsible smokers but with a solid career and wonderful family.

 

I guess you really don't know until you find out more about each person. Some could be into other drugs which would definitely be a deal breaker for me as well.

[setanta23]

Well, i and for a while most of my circle of friends smoked weed. It didnt change me into a different person or alter my personality. Think of it like alcohol, if the person is smoking moring, noon and night then there is a problem.

And just so you know weed doesnt turn a person into an idiot.

When i was high i played chess, one friend painted and one friend from that period still smokes pot and is currently studying psychology in university.

By the way Brad Pitt and George Clooney smoke weed , theres a photo of them in a famous coffee shop in holland.

[Shortpants]

I agree with Insane Heart. Pot smokers come in different flavors. The Spicoli type (from Fast Times at Ridgemont High) that are "oh duuuude!" smokers, slackers and live for nothing but the next bong hit. But the opposite side of the spectrum of fully functioning, "would never even know they smoked if they didn't tell you" kind of smokers. It really depends on the person and YOUR personal views on the subject. I have met both types of smokers I list above, and every other variation in between, the Spicoli type probably isn't the best choice for a relationship. I get the feeling that if this guy is advertising he is "420 friendly" on a public website, that is a bit of a red flag to me. Probably not a reason to call off the date, unless you have very strong opinions on marijuana use.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

If you already know this then I would recommend not getting involved. Who needs to figure out if he is "responsible" or not "responsible". By the time you figure it out you will already be emotionally invested and it will be harder to walk away.

[Miss Firecracker]

Most of the ones I knew are either dead or might as well be. I don't get anywhere near people that are doing illegal drugs. Like my life as calm as possible.

[glucoze]

Annoying. dont do it.

[setanta23]

Cant see why weed is so different to alcohol or chocolate or shoes. If he occasionally gets high on the weekend or after work and it doesnt affect his personal relationships whats the big deal. If he had "i love fine wine" on his facebook page would this be an issue

[setanta23]

Amazing the replies here, i know so many people who smoked weed who arent dead and who have good steady jobs, married and are genuinely intersting people. Also know a lot of people who dont smoke weed and are as thick as a brick.

[pinkelephant]

...I rather date someone who were like this vs. someone that actually smoked cigarettes and drank heavily...

 

I hear this comparison a lot. And it's just ironic to me. The second choice is always someone who is SO undesirable /would never be a candidate in the first place.

 

 

I wouldn't date someone into pot. My last 2 boyfriends were and I found it annoying. Before anyone say anything, it is NOT unlike alcohol. If someone drank every weekend, he'd be gone too.

[arsenic_n_lace]

Well we haven’t gone on the date yet so I don’t know if he does it all the time or if it’s just occasionally. I guess I’ll ask him when we go out and see what he says. I think if he did it all the time I wouldn’t want to pursue anything further but if it’s just occasionally I think I could handle that and if not I could always just end things (if they even progress to that point).

[Miss Firecracker]

The fact he does drugs is one thing.

 

The fact he advertises it on Facebook is another.

[Day_Walker]

I have no issue with drug use but as long as there is no addiction then I dont have a problem. I have dated girls that I thought only used recreationally but then it came to my attention that they were addicted. When their drug use interfered with important aspects of the relationship then I was done.

[HouseKitten]

If he's using it recreationally then why not? If he has a normal, functioning life, can hold down a job and goes out with his friends and is happy to do things that don't involve smoking pot in any way, then it's not interfering with his life and wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me.

 

However, if it were all day every day, and he avoided doing activities that couldn't involve getting high, that'd be a sign that it's ruling his life.

 

If it's not strictly a dealbreaker for you unless it's seriously heavy use, why not go out with him, see how it goes and make an informed decision later on?

[WindowTo]

Miss Firecracker is right. The fact that this guy advertises that he smokes weed to the degree that you have to ask this question is a red flag. One little mention would suggest occasional use, like someone who has an occasional drink. But if it is what this guy is all about, there is likely to be issues involved. There could be physcological addiction plus the fact that it is still an illegal substance in most places. Finally, there is the annoying juvenile weed subculture that is just downright embarrassing, but I guess that is just my opinion

[turnera]

Yeah, I'd rather pick the guy who puts that money into his savings account or furthering his career or education. As well as the guy who's not going to run the risk of getting arrested or getting me arrested or called in because he's growing or carrying. BTDT.

[turnera]

Yeah, I'd rather pick the guy who puts that money into his savings account or furthering his career or education. As well as the guy who's not going to run the risk of getting arrested or getting me arrested or called in because he's growing or carrying. BTDT. Or who doesn't advertise on FB, guaranteeing that most people won't hire him when they Google him for that next job.

[turnera]

Sorry, my system is messed up! Don't have an edit button any more!

[Miss Firecracker]

I try to stay away from anyone that might be taken to jail at any time. That includes my family members.

[g84]

I'm personally not comfortable with the idea : [. Though, if a guy had tried weed in the past but later decided that it's not for him anymore, that could be a different story. I also don't like seeing it being advertised in a sense, like some others have mentioned.