Help: Exercise is making my g/f too tired for sex

[Double J]

My girlfriend and I went on diets a little less than a month ago. I've already lost 10 pounds, she has lost 5. While increased exercise is certainly good for our bodies as we try to shed the poundage, I'm afraid it's having an adverse effect in another area: the bedroom.

 

My g/f has never been big on exercise; this is probably the first time in her life she has exercised - let alone hit the gym - with some form of consistency. Upon arriving home from the gym, she can't help but plop into bed and fall asleep. Since embarking on the diet, the frequency with which we have sex has tapered off.

 

For most, exercise awakens and invigorates them. It seems, however, that exercise has the opposite effect on my g/f.

 

Any advice??? Thanks in advance!

[jessica911]

her body isn't used to all the hard work.

you guys can have xxx then go to the gym, but then she might be too tired to work out lol.

 

why not ask her to go to the gym for three times a week and the rest are for xxx?

 

that might work.

[pinkelephant]

maybe she's over working herself. otherwise, when she starts to get in better shape, the sex should pick up.

[DrKitten]

How are her eating habits? Be sure to also cut down on sugar and caffeine if needed and eat more fruits, vegetables and whole grains for sustained energy throughout the day.

 

Many people also have a lot more energy if they workout in the morning before school/work. Maybe see if a schedule change will help?

[annie24]

are you sure this isn't just an excuse? i mean, how can you be too tired for sex? unless you just worked a 16 hour shift or something.

 

i am also wondering about her exercise and eating habits. 1 hour of exercise shouldn't make you so pooped you can't have sex!

[shuttlefish]

20 minute power nap, double espresso followed by a shower and then get down to business! Sex is exercise too don't ya know

[sophie274]

I don't think it's an excuse - I can certainly see where your girlfriend is coming from! The gym can really tire me out depending on what I'm doing.

 

Sounds to me like the problem is that you are "scheduling" sex at the very end of the day, and she is just ready for bed at that point (and it's not like she is saying "Not tonight honey, I have a headache", right? she's just falling asleep). Why don't you try and have your physical intimacy in the mornings, or week-end afternoons?

[dragon lady]

This is how I was when I was going the gym. No runner's high, no feeling healthier and certainly no increased energy. I felt so ripped off after hearing all these promises. All i wanted to do was sleep when i got home.

 

Now I try to just get my exercise from walking. I know it won't build muscles, but at least I can function.

[greywolf]

Are you sure it's the exercise and not the diet? If she's on a low-carb diet, she's definitely going to feel low on energy all the time.

 

If it's the exercise, then you need to give her some time for her body to adjust.

[Sparkly Eyes]

Have sex before exercise?

[Cognitive_Canine]

Have sex in the morning and exercise at night. Or exercise in the morning.

 

Sounds like she is pushing herself too hard and isn't used to it.

[d24]

if she wanted sex she'd do it on a day when she doesn't go to the gym, before she goes, or she'd not push herself that she's too exhausted to 'do it' when she's back.

 

You need to figure out why she's letting herself get that tired and why she doesn't want sex.

[Speranza]

More likely the diet... is it extreme?

 

Or - curve-ball here. Whose idea was it to lose weight? Has she tactfully suggested it cos you (both?) have really let yourself go, and she actually doesn't fancy you right now?

 

How was the sex before the gym regime? Has it really been as sudden a change as you think, or had it already tailed off?

[sidehop]

I was going to say, if she's overdoing it or not getting enough nutrition and clean calories no matter how much exercise you do it's going to affect the energy level.

[mmmd]

show her the amount of calories you can burn during intense sex and get her to do that lieu of exercising

[hexaemeron]

Her body is going through a shock right now. It's going to take her a little time to get that sorted out.

[annie24]

Her body is going through a shock right now. It's going to take her a little time to get that sorted out.

 

that is true, if she has never exercised and never really ate well, it makes sense that she might be tired for a while.

[sophie274]

if she wanted sex she'd do it on a day when she doesn't go to the gym, before she goes, or she'd not push herself that she's too exhausted to 'do it' when she's back.

 

You need to figure out why she's letting herself get that tired and why she doesn't want sex.

 

I have to say, when I'm working out and trying to push or challenge myself, I've never stopped to think I should reign it in so that I'd have enough energy left for sex! My last boyfriend was an athlete who had to be under a certain weight to compete, and when he was in season his training (4-5 hours a day) and his diet certainly took a toll on his energy level for other activities. Obviously the OP's girlfriend is not training for the Olympics, but it probably FEELS that way to her, if she's gone from couch potato to gym rat in such a short amount of time.

 

Unless other things are going wrong in the relationship, I really think the most likely explanation is the simplest one, that she's just tired from diet and exercise. For her own health, I'd want to make sure she is getting adequate nutrition (not cutting too many calories for example), and then try to initiate sex at times when she is rested and has energy - the morning, or the week-end, or before you two hit the gym.

[srssatellite]

How long have y'all been working out? If it's been going on for a while, I doubt she is overworking herself. Usually it's the first week of exercise that leads to overworking.

 

Diet can be an issue, but for exercise you need plenty of of fuel, just make sure she is getting in enough carbs prior to exercising.