Should I be worried?

[a_lifters_life]

My g/f and I are now going on 2 years (come may 9th). She told me last night she cant deal without me being with her. I live @ home (with parents currently) and shes at school.

 

But, she has no friends really at her school (shes been there about a year now). She'll get dinner with her roommates, not like she goes alone... i just dont get it?

 

Anyone?

[Blue Skittles]

It's important to learn to deal with being alone and to develop her own social circle outside of the relationship, just as it is important for you to have your own life/interests outside the relationship. Otherwise, it isn't healthy. Encourage her to spend time with friends and family or to join a club that she is interested in where she could meet new people.

[a_lifters_life]

I do try to. Shes totally the social type. She has so many friends at our old college (where we both used to go to where we had met).

 

I've told her in the past , "why dont you go and have a good weekend with [insert group of girl's name here]?

 

And she always says their busy..

[ToF]

This is a really common problem that couples face once things have gotten more serious/long-term..

 

It sounds like she used to be an independent person, but has now fallen into a rut and is having trouble picking herself up out of it. She needs to fix this one on her own. I know you care about her and probably want to help her feel better, but that will only make the problem worse. Trust me, I have/had the same problem! If she's not okay without you, then this relationship will turn unhealthy sooner or later.

 

So, while you can't walk her through re-building her life, you CAN encourage her (like you've been doing) to do what she needs to do. You might want to mention the fact that she used to do x, y and z, and ask why she can't do those things anymore?

 

Hope that helps.

[a_lifters_life]

This is a really common problem that couples face once things have gotten more serious/long-term..

 

It sounds like she used to be an independent person, but has now fallen into a rut and is having trouble picking herself up out of it. She needs to fix this one on her own. I know you care about her and probably want to help her feel better, but that will only make the problem worse. Trust me, I have/had the same problem! If she's not okay without you, then this relationship will turn unhealthy sooner or later.

 

So, while you can't walk her through re-building her life, you CAN encourage her (like you've been doing) to do what she needs to do. You might want to mention the fact that she used to do x, y and z, and ask why she can't do those things anymore?

 

Hope that helps.

 

great advice!

 

However, I've mentioned you used to have with [xyz] back at [insert school name], why dont you do that anymore? She says "oh, I dont go there anymore so its kind of weird to be with them alot" ....... im like -->

[WomanWriter]

What if you two take a class/activity together? She can get to know other people while you are there, then she can invite those people out on her own?

[a_lifters_life]

What if you two take a class/activity together? She can get to know other people while you are there, then she can invite those people out on her own?

 

Perhaps you dont know my background with her.... we're in a 1.5 hr LDR so that isnt exactly possible...