Girl wants to only stay friends? Dead-end?

[wsim]

Hey,

 

The past couple of weeks I have been exchanging emails/txt messages with this girl. We have quite a bit in common, she is a bit shy but very friendly, mature and sweet. She is also quite pretty and cute. I have met up with her once recently for coffee/walk and had a decent conversation. We agreed to chat on the phone sometime soon.

 

Unfortunately, there is a problem.... while I would love to ask her out on a date and so forth, she made it fairly clear that she only wants a "platonic" friendship as too many guys in the past wanted to be more than just friends, which she appears uncomfortable with. I do not know if she is single, but I have a good feeling that she is.

 

I have never had a relationship before but should I take a chance and give this a shot (asking her out)? Or would this drive her completely away from me? I'm hoping that she will appreciate my feelings, as long as they are honest. At the same time, maybe I should respect her wishes and try to be a good friend. Even if I get rejected, I still like to be friends with her and don't want awkwardness between us. There are some interests that we share in common which I know that most people don't have.

 

Just unsure of what is the best approach to take. Thanks for your help.

 

There are positives to take out of this regardless. At least I take comfort in knowing that I can have a good outing/conversation with a cute/pretty girl with her thinking that I am a decent person to get to know, instead of being uninteresting or boring to many girls as in the past.

[Go Habs Go]

Sorry brother, but you've been friend-zoned. You have 2 options:

 

 

1)Remain friends with her, knowing nothing will ever happen

 

2)Cut all ties with her. Only problem with this is there is the possibility she will go crawling back to you, because she may be one of those girls that wants what she can't have

[meli083]

There's another option: Stay her friend, it's good to have female friends. You can build each other's trust. Don't worry if nothing happens. If your intentions with her are to just have fun, be yourself, and self-amusement then you can't go wrong. Girls like guys that just like to have fun and nothing else matters.

 

I know it's hard, but you have to give up wanting her, for anything. Don't suppress the wanting, accept it and realize that by not thinking about her, she starts warming up to you. Happens with my friends' girl friends all the time. But he quickly skurts before anything develops.

[meli083]

I should follow my own advice lol

[Zerohero]

Yea friendzoned however,

 

I would stay her friend. It might open a few doors for you to other females.

 

Also since you both are " friends", that means you can ask her out as a "friend" to go see a movie or something. Just let her now your just friends, and you want to go out and chill. Have a good time, and then be on your way. Trust me, I"ve dont this, and had a few chicks want to be a little more than friends by the end of the nite. Just dont put much stock into it.

[wsim]

Thanks for the replies. The main intention is really just to hang out, have some fun and be myself around her anyways. I will remain friends with her. Having more female friends is always a good thing and something that I need more of. We also have a lot of similar interests or hobbies to begin with.... so talking to her comes quite naturally.

 

I am not expecting much if anything else to come out of this. It may open doors in the future, so nothing to lose regardless.

[sidehop]

Be friends with her but I would keep looking

[dr_styles]

From what I know of your situation from past posts (and being in similar) I know how nice it is to even have a new regular friend/social outing. Friends have always been one of the stepping stones for meeting people to date, something I still too (regular friend meet ups) don't really have.

 

But you have to be able to fully accept it's a friendzoned dead-end either, because it'll drive you mad to keep "hanging out" with her with anything in your mind.

 

Hey look on the bright side, better to meet an attractive girl through "a friend" than "a girlfriend" because it's not exactly good practice to move onto girlfriend's friends or relatives.

[YakasJourney]

Women do this all the time, and it's not always a bad thing. Sure, as men we want a girlfriend and to get laid. And women know this. But in their wisdom, some women have realized that it really is better to develop friendships first, and then let those evolve into more intimate relationships. You gotta respect a woman who has figured this out. But it's not like you owe her anything yet. If you want a friendship, then put in some effort and see if she reciprocates. If not then it's time to jet.

[Go Habs Go]

Women do this all the time, and it's not always a bad thing. Sure, as men we want a girlfriend and to get laid. And women know this. But in their wisdom, some women have realized that it really is better to develop friendships first, and then let those evolve into more intimate relationships. You gotta respect a woman who has figured this out. But it's not like you owe her anything yet. If you want a friendship, then put in some effort and see if she reciprocates. If not then it's time to jet.

 

 

Only downside is we men are taught that if a woman considers use to be friends, we move on. Think about it; why should I become a woman's friend while she's f*cking some guy's brains out?