What did I get myself into?

[HellFrost666]

Since I've been out of work (lost my job in November, haven't found another one) I've tried to keep my plate as full as possible. I am the kind of person who will get depressed if I stay at home all day.

 

I've applied for almost 70 jobs since I've been out of work. One of those jobs was an office job at a place I always thought was a drug rehab center. My roommate's Mom worked there for a long time. She said it's an excellent place to work, but she told me if I ever want to get in there I would have a better chance if I volunteered there first.

 

I didn't get the job, but I did decide to do some volunteer work for them. And I learned that they aren't just a rehab center. They help all kinds of people. And one thing they do is run a 24 hour crisis hotline.

 

The guy who's in charge of all this told me when he met me that he could tell right away I was well suited for the hotline because he could tell I was a good listener.

 

Now I am getting to the heart of the issue... I have mental problems. I told him this and he said that's not a problem. He told me I will get calls from a lot of people who have problems like I do and someone who's been in their situation might be the only person who really understands. I can appreciate his way of thinking... but I am wondering if it's more like the blind leading the blind.

 

I just had my third night of training. All three nights I've come home feeling all panicky and anxious. And I haven't even taken any calls or even been in the hotline room yet. Basically I had to spend three nights with a few employees talking about human nature and how to handle some of these people and some of these situations.

 

I think what's more upsetting is a lot of the memories this has brought back of certain times in my life I would rather not remember.

 

I am starting to wonder if I can handle doing this. To the people reading this: If something awful happened to you and you had to call a crisis hotline would you want someone on the other end who's a little screwed up in the head?

 

Sorry if this seems like a pointless thread... This is the third night I've come home after training feeling like I could panic any second and I really just wanted to write about how I feel at the moment. But any thoughts are appreciated.

[KeepMe]

Well if you are not suitable for the job and you aren't helping these people then I can tell where it would actually matter with your mental issues. If you do have some issues and you still guide and direct people in the right way and truly helping then it shouldn't matter what your issues are as long as it isn't affecting the people you are helping. However if you don't feel like you are stable enough to work with this then maybe you shouldn't. If it worries you and stresses you out then it's best to devote your time and look for other places to work or volunteer.

I, too, lost my job and I'm juggling school. I unfortunately found an amazing job that I really enjoy which is reception and office work. They falsely told me that I would only be working a couple nights a week, those couple nights turned into an everyday thing. Not only was it every day but it was 11 a night til 7 in the morning. Only nights I happened to get off were the weekends which contained no school. I ended up having to quit, it sucks, but these sort of things happen. I think you can find something else better even if it's volunteering, maybe an animal shelter or something like that. Those people are always needing some help. =)

[HellFrost666]

^ I already put in about four days a week at an animal shelter.

 

I started doing this because the chances of getting hired in at this place as a paid employee are pretty good.

 

Your experience was the opposite of what I've been going through. I've found a few jobs that were supposed to be long term and full time (through temp agencies) and I would end up working a few days and then be told I am not needed anymore.

 

Or like my most recent job... it was supposed to be between 25-35 hours a week. I worked 5 hours my first week. I went to get my paycheck (my huge, huge paycheck) and was fired.

 

I am rambling... sorry.

[HeartGoesOn]

HellFrost

 

Let's face it, we're all a little screwed up in the head! I think you should stop selling yourself short, and give this a try. Helping others is the best way to help yourself, and I think that since you're a good listener you could handle this well. Believe in yourself.

 

Hope it works out for you.

[eggplant47]

I would feel better knowing the person on the other end of that line had been where I am and had pulled themselves out. It's easier to talk to someone when you think they'll understand.

 

That being said... if it's causing you anxiety and to revisit a place best left in your past, maybe this isn't something you should do at this time. You have to think of your own well being first.

[HellFrost666]

HellFrost

 

Let's face it, we're all a little screwed up in the head! I think you should stop selling yourself short, and give this a try. Helping others is the best way to help yourself, and I think that since you're a good listener you could handle this well. Believe in yourself.

 

Hope it works out for you.

 

This is true. There is no such thing as a completely sane person.

 

And I have been told I am a good listener. At one of my temporary job where I had to talk on the phone I had this lady spend 1/2 hour on the phone with me telling me all these problems she was having. And the funny thing was, this was a business call. I called her to confirm an appointment she had with my boss and she just sat there and unloaded on me. When she was done she told me she was sorry for going on and on, but that talking to someone really made her feel better.

 

My anxiety afterwards has been less and less each night. And I am sure the stories they're telling me are the worst of the worst.

[HellFrost666]

I would feel better knowing the person on the other end of that line had been where I am and had pulled themselves out. It's easier to talk to someone when you think they'll understand.

 

That being said... if it's causing you anxiety and to revisit a place best left in your past, maybe this isn't something you should do at this time. You have to think of your own well being first.

 

Good point.

 

I suppose if I was a drug addict and was trying to quit I would be more comfortable talking to another recovering drug addict then anyone else. (And no, I am not a drug addict. Just using this as an example.)

[KeepMe]

Your experience was the opposite of what I've been going through. I've found a few jobs that were supposed to be long term and full time (through temp agencies) and I would end up working a few days and then be told I am not needed anymore.

 

Or like my most recent job... it was supposed to be between 25-35 hours a week. I worked 5 hours my first week. I went to get my paycheck (my huge, huge paycheck) and was fired.

 

I am rambling... sorry.

 

I think you missed the point in what I was getting at. Point being is that even though I started a place that I could work at, it interfered with my schooling meaning I had to quit it. I had to take care of myself first, and school was more important. In your situation volunteering at this place has brought back some personal issues that are conflicting with your own personal being. You have to worry about yourself more, you being more important. So if it's causing you that much of a hassle you may just have to quit.

You are the right candidate for the position you have experienced probably what most of these other people are experiencing and instead of some person who has no clue what these people are going through the only basis they can go off is common sense and what they have been taught on how to approach the situation kindly, it's easy for someone to see just some random person won't help em'.

You can actually talk from your heart about what you know, and how things will be alright. BUT if it's hurting you, or bringing back hurtful memories you have to care for yourself first and if need be, quit the volunteering, find something else.

 

I have been fired from jobs for no apparent reasons, it sucks. But it also happens and you and I aren't the only ones it happens to. We just have to find something else, and carry on. Obviously those places were not worth our time.

[annie24]

i think most people just want someone to talk to who will listen to them. if you can do that, you are 90% of the way there. just listen to what they have to say and be a sympathetic ear. you really can't do A LOT for them - because if they have serious problems, they really need to be seeing a doctor or therapist to help them out. i think you really can't screw them up too bad, as long as you don't tell them to do something drastic.

 

maybe think of techniques that have helped you through the hard times and share that with them. let's say for example, when you have been upset, you went and journaled, or talked to your girlfriend, or exercised or played your bass. things like that are good suggestions that might be helpful to the people on the other end of the line.

 

good luck

[HellFrost666]

^ I didn't miss the point, I just went off on a tangent, sorry. I do that a lot.

 

We are definitely not the only ones it's happening to. With the market the way it is right now employers can be as picky as they want to be.

[waveseer]

From my own experience I was terrified of worsening a caller's condition as well as being afraid of triggering my own personal psychosis. I was also assured that it would be ok and that I was uniquely qualified and stable enough to handle it.

 

I will skip the middle part because you can guess it anyway, anticipation anxiety, etc...

 

What happened was that they were right. I got used to it after a few calls. I could draw on my previous experiences without having to relive them and I was an asset to the callers. By the second shift I looked forward to being of service.

 

When it all gets to be too much, stop. Until then proceed as if everything will be okay because it just might.

[HellFrost666]

From my own experience I was terrified of worsening a caller's condition as well as being afraid of triggering my own personal psychosis. I was also assured that it would be ok and that I was uniquely qualified and stable enough to handle it.

 

I will skip the middle part because you can guess it anyway, anticipation anxiety, etc...

 

What happened was that they were right. I got used to it after a few calls. I could draw on my previous experiences without having to relive them and I was an asset to the callers. By the second shift I looked forward to being of service.

 

When it all gets to be too much, stop. Until then proceed as if everything will be okay because it just might.

 

Wow... so you know exactly how I feel right now then.

 

Thank you for replying. I wasn't expecting to hear from anyone that has been in this exact situation, so this was great.

 

And like you were, I am afraid of saying something to make someone feel worse. Sometimes I am pretty tactless.

 

When I was at my absolute worst, I had a hotline calling me every day. Not the same hotline I'll be working on. This was a hotline where the people working had a background in psychology and most of them either had degrees or were working on a degree. They worked at the mental health center where my shrink worked.

 

But anyway... I remember there was one woman I talked to who told me that the world is full of people with bigger problems and that I shouldn't be this upset over nothing.

 

Point here is, I know what to never say to a caller.

[catfeeder]

Yes, I would definitely want to speak with someone who was peppered with the experience to identify with me -over- someone well-trained but clueless about what falling apart feels like.

 

I'd like to believe that our own suffering is useful for something.

[waveseer]

You're welcome, I can be pretty tactless sometimes too but I found out that I don't respond that way at all to people who are genuinely reaching out for help. I doubt you would either. In general I think volunteers are far less likely to speak thoughtlessly.

 

Yeah, I've had my share of non-helpful counseling and it's taught me a few things.

 

You sound readier than the butterflies are allowing you to feel. Remember that you have a huge advantage over many other people for this type of service, you care.

[HellFrost666]

I really don't understand why this thread was moved here.