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Is he just not attracted to me?


ladeedah

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The guy I have a crush on gives signs of liking me. He sits next to me at dinners and comes over and talks to me at events. He stands close to me or brushes up aginst me. We always have what to talk about and laugh about.But he never hugs me or puts his arm around me like with other girls. Its like he's afraid to touch me unless its by"accident".Even in pictures,he'll stand close to me but not touch me. Every other girl he puts his arm around except for me Last night we were at a party and i was sitting on one end of the couch and a mutual friend was sitting on the other end and my crush was sitting on a chair near us. He looks over and my crush and says "Hey, dude, come sit between us!!". And my crush was like I'm fine where i am in this annoyed tone. It makes me feel so insecure.. Is he not attracted to me? Or is he too shy to touch me? HELP!

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It's hard to tell, but I would say that yes, he is attracted to you. Humans are strange creatures and tend to do the opposite things of what is usually expected - when they are attracted to someone they tend to "play it safe" and not get too close etc. Yes, very odd behaviour when you think they should simply go ahead and make it known they like someone, lol. I could be wrong of course, but after observing and witnessing this odd behaviour many many times before, I would say yes, he is interested.

 

Perhaps it's time for you to make the move now?

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He might just view you as a friend. I got caught in that a few months ago. I would always hang out with this girl, she was cute and we could hold conversations and goof off together, but at some point people started asking me if I was gonna date her. I thought about it, because I obviously hadn't made a move yet, and I figured out that I really didn't want to date her. And I didn't want to just sleep with the girl just for sex and that's all. I do think guys will hang out with girls because they are cute even if they aren't planning to date them. You kinda ride the fine line. It does sound like your guy is in the same situation. Sorry.

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If he's a tactile person who routinely hugs female friends (thereby desexualising the relationship by keeping it within strict boundaries) and is very cautious about touching YOU - yes, it sounds as though he's interested in you. With his female friends there's no question of rejection, or fear of rejection, but the stakes are higher if he's interested in you. The fact that he sat in a chair and refused to be ordered where to sit doesn't reflect on you at all; he probably just didn't like being told where to sit, or that he would have felt self-conscious sitting next to you under those circumstances.

 

It does sounds as though he's shy. If you pick your moment carefully, when there aren't people around who would make him feel self-conscious, what's to stop you asking for a hug from him?

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It could be that he is attracted to you and worried you don't feel the same. He doesn't want to appear attracted to you so he avoids you a bit in public to avoid people connecting the dots.

 

I'd make a move on him. You can speculate all you want but unless he gets a kick in the rump and asks you out, you'll never know. Ask him out, find out for sure, and then be done with it (or start something wonderful). Either way, it's better than being in this "does he like me?" limbo.

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