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I think I'm in Love with a younger girl...is it wrong? [LONG]


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I had been together with my girlfriend for about 7 or 8 months. It had been the longest time I was ever with someone, and throughout that entire time, I was very happy. However, about 2 months ago, we split up. After we broke up, I became a depressed wreck. For the next week, I started moping around and did nothing but moan and groan about it. One day I noticed a moving truck next door and saw that we had new neighbors. I went to check if the new family seemed interesting, but it was only an old lady and a young girl, so I didn’t really pay much attention to them.


To relieve some stress after my break up, I went in the backyard to clean up the snow. As I was cleaning, I noticed that there was a young girl staring at me from accross the fence. I tried to ignore her as long as possible because I didn’t really feel like talking. Although, after a minute or two, she said something…


Her You’re in it right now, aren’t you?


Me I’m what?


Her You’re in it. It’s something my mom always use to tell me whenever I looked like I was thinking really hard about something. I was “in it”


Me Why do I look like I’m “in it”?


Her Because you look like you got something on your mind, you look like your in the zone


Me And why’s that?


Her well, not too many people shovel the snow in their backyard….(she laughs)


Me Well I guess I’m one of those “not to many people”


Her maybe, but It seems you’re just thinking about something…



After that, we somehow got into a deep conversation about all sorts of things. We were literally standing there, talking for over an hour, just about one another. I found out the girl was 13, and she had been living with her aunt for years now. But somehow during the conversation, I started telling the girl about my ex girlfriend. Usually a personal subject for me, I felt comfortable talking to her about it, which is unusual for me. After I told her how depressed I was after my break up, she said “It’s a big world out there, there’s plenty of other girls out there for you”.


All I could do was smile.


After that, I started to get to know the girl more so than any other person I ever have. Almost everyday we would meet in the backyard and just talk. Only the fence between us, we would talk about all sort of things. From music, to movies, from literature to life in general. Sometimes I would forget that I would be talking to a 13 year old because she knew about things and understood things that most girls my age don’t, heck even most adults don’t. She was incredibly mature for her age, and I was continuously stunned with how cool she was to talk to. After awhile, I noticed how flirty she was with me. Every day she would wait for me outside my school, for when I was done we would walk home together. At first it was kind of annoying, especially when my friends saw her with me, I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. But after awhile, I started to like it. Talking with her, and being with her always made me feel safe and free. She was like the eye of the storm, if the storm was life and she was the calmness of the eye where I could go to just chill and relax. After the days and weeks went by, we had become very close.


The reason I post this, is because a few days ago I had a dream. In my dream, was this girl. That was it, the entire dream was just her. After awhile I started to obsess over this, I started hearing her voice in my head, and I would see her pretty smile in my dreams. Every night I would have this dream, it was nothing sexual, it would just be her, smiling at me. I started arguing with myself. I would say to myself “she’s only 13 man, what the hell are you doing”. Although after a few days, I finally admitted to myself that I was falling for her. Whether it was love or lust, I knew I had fallen for this girl Her soft voice, her pretty face, her personality, she was the one. Although I knew I had these feelings, I would never let myself take advantage of her. So after once again moping around the house for a week, I went outside to get some fresh air earlier today.


As I was in the backyard I noticed her accross the fence, in her own yard., staring back at me. I hadn’t talked to her in a week, since I had been having those dreams. I tried to stay away from conversation, although she was never one to shy away from starting one. Our conversation went a little like this…


Her Where have you been this last week?


Me I’ve been around, just around…


Her Just Around, Doing What?


Me Well, I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately…


Her What have you been thinking about?


Me To be honest, I’ve been thinking about you…


For a second or two there was complete silence, awkward silence, the worst kind


Her I’ve been thinking about you too


Me oh yeah, and what for?


Her I think I’m falling in love with you


Me Love, no I don’t think so, its just puppy love. You’ll get over it


Her I don’t think so, this feels different, it feels right


Me Well it’s not right, I’m 17 and you’re 13. That isn’t right.


Her What does age have to do with it?


Me It doesn’t, but you don’t love me. You think you do but you don’t…


Her I know I do, and I know you do too


Me I like you, I really do. But this isn’t right…


Her It isn’t that bad,


Me You’re not even in high school yet, in the next 4 years you wont even remember me


Her I always remember, I never forget


Me It’s a big world out there, there’s plenty of other guys out there for you


Her It is a big world, but we can walk through this world together




All I could do was smile…


What the hell am I suppose to say to that!?

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My first love was 17 and I was 13....then he turned 18 & was to scared to continue, that kid actually waited until I 17 (almost eighteen)to start dating me again & he also lived right next to me LOL. Anyway, I would suggest to stay away too for now at least.

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Please, please, please stay away.


Just think. Jail time and a ruined reputation. You love her, but you even admitted that it might be lust.


Don't go near her.


I obviously know that I can't be with her, especially given the legal implications.


However, I am just asking the emotional side of it, is it alright for me to be having feelings for a girl much younger than I am?

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It sure could be a lot worse.. 4 year age difference ain't that big, problem is, 4 year age difference at this point in life is HUGE.


I have had a similar experience, and here's my advice to you. If you think you found something special, and this girl is really it, keep things like they are now, don't go any further. Hard as hell to do. But if you two truly love each other, and neither of you disappear, later on you can have something, like.. in about 3 years or so won't be as bad...


If you do start something with her, you need to keep in mind she is very young, and she will change a lot in the next few years. Also the feelings of girls at that age can be very intense, yet not long-lasting... When you start going through a tough time with her, she will probably not be emotionally stable and mature enough to handle it. You will feel responsible for everything, and it will all come crashing down on you.


I think that if you really think this girl is the one, don't jump off a cliff and disappear, but control where things go, and don't take another step further. Keep it just like a friendship.


Like I said I had a similar experience, if you want PM me anytime I will tell you what happened, and why I am giving you the advice I am giving.

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Dude, girls that age do that to many many guys. I remember when I was in my early twenties. I had fourteen year old girls who were enthralled by me. They loved how I spoke, and even wanted to know my name. They cheered for me and told their friends about me. A couple weeks later they were all into another guy. A couple weeks after that, it was another guy's turn.


Hope you enjoy being her taste for the week, because that is as long as you gonna get with her.

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She has a "crush" on you. Make sure it stays innocent. Make sure to never be alone with her or lead her on - even if you wouldn't do anything, don't give her hope. The number of years wouldn't be a big deal if you were in your 20s, but 13 is way too young for a 17 year old. I would be careful about confiding in her. I was very advanced at 13 intellectually, but when a guy showed me attention, I would develop weird crushes and such. I do know someone who met the woman they married when she was 15 and he was 20, but they weren't girlfriend and boyfriend until she was 18 and they married a few years later. But they are an older couple and those were different times. I am not saying that in the future it couldn't happen, but just be careful. it would be good for you to go out and meet girls to keep things balanced. You can be fond of her as you would your younger cousin or sister but I don't think she is receptive to that.

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I don't think there's ever anything wrong with emotional love. So long as you genuinely care for her and love her, there's nothing wrong with the two of you being together.


That's just my opinion though. Society is probably going to see things differently. I once knew a 16-13 couple that had some trouble staying together because of parents and relatives trying to pry them apart. True love finds a way, however, and they ended up actually living together and sharing a bed within two or three years.


In any case, I'd avoid getting sexual with it for a while, but I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with being emotionally in love with someone younger than you. Especially since you're only four years apart.

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I would recommend you to watch the film "Beautiful Girls".


In it, a very young Natalie Portman (playing a 13-year old) gets into a weird flirty friendship with her 33-year old neighbour.


The dialogue you posted seems lifted almost verbatim from the movie script. From the fact that the dude is shoveling snow when they first talk, to the final "let's walk the world together".


As seen here:




I think maybe one of you should stop trying to replicate the film in your real life -it's an awful, awful, horrible film anyway. Try something else

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The dialogue you posted seems lifted almost verbatim from the movie script. From the fact that the dude is shoveling snow when they first talk, to the final "let's walk the world together".


I hate to be a cynic but that's an awfully big coincidence. I haven't seen the film but you saying that makes me wonder if this post is for real - even while I was reading the text I was thinking it didn't sound very natural.


OP, if you are for real, stay the hell away. You can't always help your feelings but this isn't a few months till she's legal, it's several years. And all legal issues aside - she might think she's in love but at 13, the chances are she's crushing and she'll have forgotten about you in a year, whereas you might never forget her. Despite how she talks to you, she's not a mature adult. She's barely past the age of playing with dolls. Do yourself a favour and nip this in the bud.

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