am I over reacting?

[ButterflyWrists]

Argh...

 

my (ex?) boyfriend sent me a link to apparently cheer me up...

 

It was a comic thing about how scars are cool, and then two comic charactors cutting themselves..

 

(I'm feeling really depressed right now anyway, that made me feel 10x worse)

 

there's been a lot of problems from the get go of this relationship. apparently me calling him an ass was worse than him being completely insensitive to my feelings.

 

Ugh... shoot me.

[DN]

It is hard to see the context but if he meant no harm and was trying to cheer you up then you may be over-reacting.

[Kumatora]

I agree that anything portraying self mutilation or suicide isn't funny either. So what is it that you're asking?

[ButterflyWrists]

thanks DN, I am probably overreacting, its just i felt badly like selfharminng at that point so it stabbed me emtionly..

ty also for your reply kumatora.. In a way yes it was what i was asking...

[nutbrownhare]

Argh...

It was a comic thing about how scars are cool, and then two comic charactors cutting themselves..

To be honest, he probably can't begin to understand how you feel (and I don't really think anyone who hasn't ever cut, could possibly understand) and him trying to turn it into something lighthearted is getting a handle on something which scares and perplexes him.

 

Did you call him an ass after this incident? And he took offence? Chances are, he was probably feeling that way himself after seeing how it affected you; if he was feeling guilty or shamefaced then he'd probably react angrily to you calling him on it.

 

I have to admit that jokes about suicide and self-harm make me wince, too, but some people do 'laugh because it hurts' and it's their way of coping. It seems that your fella is one of these, whilst you - understandably - are not.

 

Question is - can you cope with his way of coping? I'm not being judgmental here, as it has serious implications for your relationship. There is a risk that each of you, just by being yourselves, are going to cause a lot of hurt to the other unless you can find some middle way.

 

Good luck, and well done for resisting the temptation to cut - and deciding to share on here instead.

 

(((HUGS)))

[ButterflyWrists]

Yeah it was after he sent it that I called him an ass, and yeah he did feel like one. He was really upset about it. Luckily we will see eachother at beginning of april (we're in an LDR) so we can work through everything. We do want it to work... And yeah it's his way of coping.

 

Sometimes I can be over sensitive.. But I hope we will work out what is a line for eachother...

 

Thank you for the reply

 

*hugs*