kvb10 Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 I didn't want to because I reallllly don't want to seem immature. I went out with dignity and I want to keep it that way. BUT it's bugging me that I have to be reminded of my ex each time I log onto FB chat and see her friends online. Or if I see their pages and she writes something on there. I just feel like it is counter productive for me and it does bother me. Guess I am not as strong as some. I honestly would rather not have any kind of connection or contact with any of my ex's friends (dont mean to be mean, but i just dont have any reason to be friends with them). honestly, will it look immature if i block them all? er - i know it will so i dont know why i ask. Anyone have another idea about how to do this without looking childish? Link to comment
H20 Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Just 'unfriend' them. Chances are they won't even notice anyway. Link to comment
mgirl Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 You could send a message to them explaining? Or, there may be a way to 'block' so they don't know? I have deleted people from my Facebook and to be honest, i don't think they even knew. I had somebody else delete me ages ago, then message to tell me why. I hadn't even realised she was gone! Link to comment
ionno Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 I hid them all from the News Feed until I was over it, that and I unfriended the ex for a little bit as well. If you aren't really good friends with them, then just unfriend them. Link to comment
WickedSunrise Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 I don't think it's a problem if you delete them. My friend broke up with her boyfriend and he deleted me on facebook. I don't care. The only reason I saw him was because of her, so there was no reason to be friends. I didn't see it as immature. Do what you need to do to heal. Link to comment
kvb10 Posted March 17, 2010 Author Share Posted March 17, 2010 cool thanks guys - i think you're right that it shouldn't be too big of a deal. i mean, they cant honestly say they've got plans to try to hang out with me at some point because now we have no connection. Link to comment
Live-N-Learn Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 If you were able to end it on descent terms. I would write them and let them know you just need some time and will unblock or friend them again when you are able if ever. It is taking care of yourself that matters right now. They will understand and respect you for it. I would not just delete the X if it does'nt feel right to you. Link to comment
Live-N-Learn Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 BTW. How do you block someone's updates and status without deleting them? Link to comment
rigguy Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 I think all you got to do is delete an update from feed, no further updates will follow. May be wrong, try it out Link to comment
ionno Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 There's a little box that pops up with an arrow down looking thing that you can click on that says "hide from news feed". Link to comment
Live-N-Learn Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Is it on my FB home page or do I go to her page? I can not find it to block her news feeds. Thanks this will be really helpful! Link to comment
Ivory_Tower Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 I think thats perfectly understandable. I left my ex and all of his friends (we went to the same High School so there were a lot) on Facebook for the longest time. I wanted to seem like I could handle things, I guess? I really don't know. When we split I just played the whole "do nothing" card, which actually made his friends respond to my pictures, posts, and updates A LOT. I will never understand why. I had even taken him off by that time and they were still doing it! I think for me the final straw happened when my ex's brother wished me a Happy Birthday and left comments on my wall when I turned 21. I couldn't help but wonder why after 3-4 months he would even care and why my ex couldn't say "Happy Birthday." We still haven't talked once since the break-up. Some of my ex's friends even took things to a creepier level when they would say how "beautiful" I was on new pictures that I had put up. HE DUMPED ME. YEAH. I currently have over 50 people blocked on my Facebook just because I got sick and tired of them contacting me in some fashion. Honestly, I don't even bare them any ill will...I just don't want them telling me about my ex boyfriend because I have moved on and I no longer care. Link to comment
aylancf Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 The second night after I left I deleted some 45 people off my Facebook, mutual friends of my husband and I's because I knew that it would hurt me to see what they were doing with him. It was the best decision I ever made and the ones who did contact me to find out why I had completely understood when I explained why I did it. I have also had to block some of my other friends status updates because I have a few who could not stop posting stuff about how wonderful their husband is, or how happy they are in their marriage. That sort of thing is just too painful for me as well. I don't think its a bad thing if its solely for self preservation. I say do what you need to do to survive this mess. Link to comment
jj21 Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Is it on my FB home page or do I go to her page? I can not find it to block her news feeds. Thanks this will be really helpful! I didn't want to delete my ex's friends/family on Facebook either. The only way I could figure out how to block the feeds was hovering your mouse over something that has come up in your news feed from them (e.g. '.... is now friends with'). When you do that the word 'Hide' comes up on the right hand side. Click that and it will ask for confirmation. The only thing is you have to wait for something from them to come up in your news feed :s Found this helped a lot tho, seeing stuff from them just reminded me of her all the time! Hope this helps! Link to comment
GivenUpOnHope Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 my ex just deleted me and all my friends off her facebook this last weekend. out of nowhere. i never even saw it coming. i'm not sure how i should i feel about it. oh well.. Link to comment
aylancf Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 2 hours after the moving van left the house my ex husband added 17 girls to his Facebook and changed his status to single. Later that night I got upset about it and called him, he blocked me after that which hurt more. I wish he would have blocked me before I turned on my Facebook and had to see "Mike _____ is now friends with "Chick #1", "Chick #2" etc etc. Ugh...what a way to start a separation. Link to comment
hopelessincan Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 You also mentioned seeing your exes friends on chat. You can create friends groups and appear online or offline to either group. I deleted my ex from facebook about 1.5 months ago. He was apparently very hurt and sad over this. We have been nc, lc, hanging out since our breakup 5 months ago. We have been back in contact for a few weeks now..but I refuse to add him back to fb. I cant stand seeing his updates..he hasnt really mentioned it either. Need to see how things go before deciding if i should add him back or not I have hid a couple mutual friends newsfeed updates also. One of them continues to post on his wall so i keep seeing it.....Ive asked him to stop and he tells me to get over it. nice! came close to deleting him...and he was my friend first! Havent bothered to delete his friends or family though. Link to comment
easyguy Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 I can't de-friend everyone she friended, because she friended my friends moreso that I did hers. I was Facebook friends with I think 2 of her friends (who I didn't know before meeting her), but have since removed them. I had one of her friends as a Facebook friend until a week or so after the break up. After seeing an unrelated comment she posted on her wall, I was like, **** this, I don't even want to see her name right now. I play music with one of her roommates (who actually introduced us), but she doesn't ever post anything on his wall. Link to comment
aylancf Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 I have hid a couple mutual friends newsfeed updates also. One of them continues to post on his wall so i keep seeing it.....Ive asked him to stop and he tells me to get over it. nice! came close to deleting him...and he was my friend first! Havent bothered to delete his friends or family though. Doesn't sound like a great friend to me. IMHO Link to comment
Live-N-Learn Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Sweet. I was able to go back into an old feed of my X and click on the hide feed button and not have to wait for another feed to do it. I also went into the chat and created a new friends list of only those I want to chat with. I can appear online to them and off line to everyone else. Thanks for the tips!! Link to comment
Sac Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 yeah i have blocked my ex gf news feed and her freinds! still wandering if i should remove her completely or just block her from seeing photos of me and stuff? as will she really miss me if she can just look at pics of me still and see my posts and updates? she dumped me i am the dumpee, and im pretty sure she has a bf already 2 or 3 weeks after things ended...if this information helps Link to comment
easyguy Posted March 18, 2010 Share Posted March 18, 2010 yeah i have blocked my ex gf news feed and her freinds! still wandering if i should remove her completely or just block her from seeing photos of me and stuff? as will she really miss me if she can just look at pics of me still and see my posts and updates? she dumped me i am the dumpee, and im pretty sure she has a bf already 2 or 3 weeks after things ended...if this information helps It depends how often you use Facebook. I knew it was going to be a major problem to have her as a friend on Facebook (since I spend time using it every day, sometimes too much), so I did not hesitate to de-friend her first thing when I got back home. Just makes it easier in the long run. I told her at the end of our "talk" that it was going to happen. She understood. Link to comment
Sac Posted March 18, 2010 Share Posted March 18, 2010 It depends how often you use Facebook. I knew it was going to be a major problem to have her as a friend on Facebook (since I spend time using it every day, sometimes too much), so I did not hesitate to de-friend her first thing when I got back home. Just makes it easier in the long run. I told her at the end of our "talk" that it was going to happen. She understood. i dont use it that much. its just pictures get put up of me and what right does my ex have to look.. i mean she might not, but i dont know that but she has no right anymore i guess, but i guess this can also work in affect to make them miss you? its odd but im my situation my ex has a new bf so i dout she cares!! or could i leave it to battle of wills, as if ig et a new gf she might react to it lol. i was thinking of sending her a facebook msg appreciating being part of her life then saying goodbye? anyway here is this i found DELETE THE EX OF FACEBOOK! 3 - You Will Not Waste Time Spying On Your Ex Stop and think about how much time you waste checking your ex boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife's facebook account to see what their up to? You could be using this time to be out with friends, and family having fun, right? Why spend more time pouring salt on your relationship wounds? Do you like to suffer? The sooner you stop wasting your time on facebook, the sooner you will be able to use that time in a more positive manner...like living life, and having fun, right? #2 - Your Ex Will Not Know What You're Up To The sooner you delete your ex from your FB account, the faster they will be able to miss you, right? If you sent a good no contact message to them, and then delete them from your facebook account...how will they know what you're up to? This will drive them a little crazy and make them miss you even faster...and that's a good thing, right? The fastest way to get your ex back, is to make them miss you, and deleting them from your face book account will make them miss you. #1 - Your Ex Can Not Attempt To Hurt You With False Posts Lets face it everyone seems addicted to FB these days, and your ex knows it, and will use it to their advantage...especially if you decided to fight back and use the no contact rule. They will post pictures of them having a great time, trying to make you break no contact...and it works...a lot! You can defuse this whole situation, and give them a little kick in the ass by deleting them from your facebook account ASAP after the break up. Your best chance to get your life, and your ex back is using no contact, and it will be a lot easier to stick to NC if you aren't spying on your ex with facebook...make sense? KEEP THEM ON THERE! Do you erase her from Facebook?... By all means, NO!!!... You have to be a big guy here! You have to show that you can deal with the whole situation no matter and the best way to do that is to simply keeping her contacts, opinions thoughts do we all agree? Link to comment
adamt Posted March 18, 2010 Share Posted March 18, 2010 Unfriend and block your ex on your facebook. If you have problems with your exes friends then do the same with them. you need to heal and thats all that is important, take care of yourself before worrying what other people think. Link to comment
kvb10 Posted March 18, 2010 Author Share Posted March 18, 2010 You also mentioned seeing your exes friends on chat. You can create friends groups and appear online or offline to either group. Thank you for this tip!! This is exactly what will help. Once their off the newsfeed AND off the chat list, they'll be out of my mind and out of sight. I'll try that first and see how it goes. Thanks! Link to comment
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