adamt

I've come to realise that there was little i could have done to prevent her changing. I may have stopped doing certain things or improved in otherways but it was never going to stop her changing if that was meant to happen. If you want to be with someone you work through ironing out the problems. she says she wishes we had talked more but then she never wanted to open up in the last 6 months. seen new photos of her on facebook yesterday and just doesnt seem the same person i knew 8 months ago. Seems a stranger when i think what she is like now compared to when we first starting going out 3 years ago. I can now see in the last 4 months of our relationship she wasnt happy and probably getting ichy feet. I've just got to stop beating myself up on thinking it was me when she has changed so much. She wants her own space and no boyfriend to worry about. i think the only man she wants in her life at the minute is looking after her dad.

I sent a card. her birthday is today. i sent a plain card and just wished her happy birthday. i've done NC for last 2 weeks. glad i sent it but i dont seem to be bothered about getting a response anymore. spent 2 weeks thinking through the break up and come to the conclusion that she has changed after her moms illness and probably not a lot i could have done. she has become obsessed with going to the gym and losing wright last 5 months. she became more selfish. little things that never bothered her before became a problem. she used to be happy just hanging out and chilling with me, then she wanted to hang out in a crowd I could have done things differently but in the bigger picture probably not changed things. A Life changing experience for her losing her mom and wants to start a new chapter in her life and go from a homely settled girl to more of a party girl. She seems a different girl to the one i went out with in the first 2 years. Feel tonight i am finally moving on. NC eventually helps to see things clearly

I'm on day 10. women are hard to fathom out. she wanted a break 5 weeks ago so we didnt speak for a couple of weeks apart from an email saying she missed me and was thinking of me and didnt think we were over.just we had to sort out a few things and she would be intouch. then two weeks later she wants to meet. she then breaks up with me. its does seem to get better as the days go by, i find afternoons at work hard as the feeling builds up when my mind drifts. waking up better now. and joined a gym today and thinking forward to get through it. hoope the gym sorts me out and tires me out

Girlfriends mom died from a long illness 2 months ago and g/f has been pushing me away in the time leading up her death. Month after her mom passed away g/f wanted some time to think. she then emailed me 2 weeks later to say she didnt think we were over,was thinking of me, we had things to sort out and missed me. So i replied that i missed her too. then last weekend she text me asking to meet up, i agreed expecting some kind of "let's sit down, work things out and give it a try". turned out she wanted to split up, said she wanted to look after her dad and didnt think it was fair on me to let me wait until she felt ready. probably just trying to let me down lightly. anyway next day, i text her, she text back, i text back just general chitchat. not heard anything back. its her birthday next week so going to post her a normal birthday card(considering her circumstances) see if she texts me then i will go NC and sit it out until i feel stronger. She used to be on MSN a lot(got less over the months) but rarely now. Seen her on facebook this week but neither of us have spoke. these days with msn,mobiles and emails its easy for people to get intouch if they want to. old days it was either landline phone(no answer machine) or by post. Planning to join the gym next week. found it hard sleeping (4-5hours a night) max the worst bit is waking up not hurting then it hits you again. also manage to keep myself together at work but then need to let myself go once i am on way home in the car. going to be a long summer but been filling up my weekends

Hi, I am after some advice. girlfriend's mom passed away after a long illness 2 months ago. We were planning to get a house together (she admitted that changed now because she wants to be near her dad) but as her mum got worse she started to push me away and nit picking at things i did which never seemed a problem before. She started going to the gym and losing weight.I assumed it was just because of the stress. A month ago she wanted a time to think so i gave her space. 3 days later she text me to see if i was ok. i replied saying yes just getting on with things. then after 2 weeks she emailed me to say she missed me,thinking of me and needed time to sort out where we were going wrong and so i said the same back. then 2 weeks later she initiated meeting. i was expecting us to get back together but she said she wanted to split up She broke up with me last weekend saying she thinks we missed our time and her head is all over the place and wants to spend time looking after her dad and it is not fair on me to keep me waiting as there is no time scale on when she will be back to normal. She said she tends to deal with situations by bottling things up and wishes we had talked more about how we feel sooner.Now she has set her status as single on facebook. I've gone into NC mode so that i can move on and if she still loves me it will come back once she is better at getting over her mum, After reading this thread i will stick it out. But her birthday is coming up in 10 days and not sure if i should send a normal birthday card. on one hand i want NC but i want to send a card because she is finding it hard dealing with her mom's death. I'm stuck between 2 stools on what is best. Is she just grieving and this is her way to deal with it or has she been wanting to split up for a while and feel now is the time to change her life. Thanks