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should i get a abortion? advise plz


Seksi_babii

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im 6 weeks prego but the baby isnt my boyfriends i was thinking abut getting a abortion becuz i really want a baby with my boyfriend but i allready have a daughter to the guy im pregnent to and hes a really good dad so im not sure? dose it hurt a lot? and if i get one how long until i can get prego again?

 

i put this on yahoo answers to and got a lot of haters but i want advise plz so ppl dont hate

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Hi and welcoome to enotalone.

 

No one can make this decision for you. You have to do what feels right to you, and what you can live with.

 

My advice would be that you should make a decision within the next week. If you do decide to terminate the pregnancy, the earlier you do so, the better. You can set up a consultation with a women's clinic and they can explain everything about the procedure to you. Just be careful to choose a reputable clinic because some places that advertise themselves to be pregnancy crisis centers or clinics are really groups with a hidden agenda that do not offer accurate information on abortion. If there is a Planned Parenthood in your area, they would be your best bet.

 

the baby isnt my boyfriends

My opinion would be that you should not get an abortion if you would be doing so simply for the sake of your boyfriend.

 

You also mention wanting another child:

 

i really want a baby with my boyfriend

 

So is your reason for wanting to terminate based solely on the father?

 

You also already have one child so you have to think about whether you can live with the decision if you decide to terminate, knowing that your daughter would have a sibling and that she started out this same way. Would it weigh heavy on your conscience?

 

Also, it sounds like you are having a relationship with 2 men here. Does your BF know that you have been sexually involved with your daughter's father? You really need to be honest with him, regardless of whether or not you decide to terminate.

 

Would you plan to keep the baby if you told your BF the truth and he still wanted to continue the relationship with you?

 

Does your daughter's father know that you are pregnant?

 

You have a lot to think about here. I hope you come to a decision that feels right to you,

 

BellaDonna

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Some people can never get pregnant following an abortion because of the damage it does. Just something to consider in everything else you're considering. This is really a personal decision that needs to be made quickly. Personally I vote for you not to do it because it's nice having two children from the same father. You already know he's a good father but you really need to be taking with your boyfriend about his feelings on the matter.

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im 6 weeks prego but the baby isnt my boyfriends i was thinking abut getting a abortion becuz i really want a baby with my boyfriend but i allready have a daughter to the guy im pregnent to and hes a really good dad so im not sure? dose it hurt a lot? and if i get one how long until i can get prego again?

 

i put this on yahoo answers to and got a lot of haters but i want advise plz so ppl dont hate

 

Its understandable that you need help deciding what to do. This is a very serious decision. Bringing a child into this world is a huge undertaking. Are you fully prepared for that? It does not sound like you are, at all. It shouldn't be a casual thing to have a child, choosing different fathers, etc. This is extremely serious. I do believe that you should think of giving the baby up for adoption (rather than abort, but abort if you are completely unable to financially and emotionally provide even a healthy pregnancy).

 

Regarding getting pregnant down the line with your boyfriend. I would urge you to reconsider that, too, at least until you are very far into a monogamous relationship with him and know there is stability between you two. How stable could you possibly feel you can provide a family life with this guy if only recently you were with an ex(and pregnant at that)? This is a very serious question, not hating at all. Children need a stable peaceful life as we do, too.

 

So to sum it up, I would either plan to let the baby be adopted or abort, and then YOU spend a good length of time with your new boyfriend getting to know him and maintaining a stable life with him before planning for a baby with him.

 

Take care,

dg7

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im 6 weeks prego but the baby isnt my boyfriends i was thinking abut getting a abortion becuz i really want a baby with my boyfriend but i allready have a daughter to the guy im pregnent to and hes a really good dad so im not sure? dose it hurt a lot? and if i get one how long until i can get prego again?

 

i put this on yahoo answers to and got a lot of haters but i want advise plz so ppl dont hate

 

If you really can't handle having a baby with this man then yes.

 

If you're only aborting the baby because of the father, when otherwise you'd be happy to have it, then I would seriously think again.

 

Also how long have you been with your boyfriend? Is this baby the result of an affair with your ex? Or have you only just gotten with your boyfriend and were pregnant from before you got together?

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If you have a daughter with the man you are pregnant to already, meaning that both kids have the same dad....how long have you been going with your boyfriend? It seems to me you are really with the man who fathered your first child and your boyfriend is someone new. I think some folks are responding thinking that the dad of the second child is some third guy that you detest. Somethings don't always work out like we want, but if the child is a full sibling to the first, you might want to consider carrying the child to term and dealing with the consequences. Adoption is an option too. But what if your child finds out later you gave up their sibling just because you wanted to have a baby with the new boyfriend instead.

 

Any man can be a father, but it takes a special guy to be a dad. Loving a man is not just about saying "here, I gave you a baby" . Because you want a baby "by your boyfriend" it makes me think that way. Anyway, it is possible for you to have this baby and have your boyfriend raise them as their dad - or to try to be the family that you already are with the one who you had your first child with and forget about the boyfriend.

 

Even though people may jump on my back for this - I think its really not right in this case to have an abortion I think the real dad should have a say in this. It is his child and a full brother and sister to his child and you said he's a good dad - he is not some random one night stand. Sorry if you wanted to present your boyfriend with a baby of his own - but that's not what happened. So - in other words, I think in this case both men need to know. If you boyfriend doesn't want to stay with you after you slept with your first child's father 6 weeks ago that's a risk you take. H

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I feel and this is my own opinon but using an abortion just to have a child by another man wouldn't be the greatest idea, you should really think about it abortion like other people have said can make you unable to get pregnant again. And there are lots of people that can't have kids and are wanting to adopt. You really need to sit down and think things completely though and talk to both men in your life

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