Cheating Spouse software

[anggrace]

@ Bellstranger

 

I total understand your perspective. My wife has read my emails and text messages for months! She would just log into my account and read my emails when I wasn't at home, she would just take my phone and read my text messages. I knew she was doing this, but I had nothing to hide to I let her do this in hopes that it would rest her nerves that and bring an end to her jealousy.

 

And before any ask what is she jealous about, she is jealous about EVERYTHING, to the point where if I have a 4 minute conversation with my sister on the cellphone on Thanksgiving Day, she is upset and an argument immediateily starts the second I get off the phone, just for example!

 

Well, I was going to ask if the Terri had more than one phone and a boyfriend who might of answered it, just to be objective, but now that I read this... I think it screams guilt.

[metrogirl]

Well. Any relationship is based on trust, faith & love. You have to believe your spouse so much that you don't have to ask anything further & you have to love your spouse so much that he/she doesn't want to be loved by anyone else except you.

 

And when you do all that and they still venture off with someone else because they are selfish idiots then what?

 

Did we fail because for as much as we loved them, they still needed to explore something different?

[Casanova4life]

I might be in the minority here... but keyloggers are a total invasion of privacy, as is reading someone elses text messages, checking their phone bill, reading their e-mails and having them followed!! And as far as I'm concerned these are all behaviours that are every bit as bad as cheating and were she NOT cheating, I would advise she dump you for doing these things to her!!

 

If your relationship is worth saving you should be able to discuss your relationship openly. I know it's easier said than done, but try just telling her that her strange behaviour recently is making you nervous and see what she says. I would say that if you can't do this then you may as well turn it in anyway! I wouldn't ever let anything turn me into the sort of person that uses a keylogger!!

we live in 2010. trust is earned not given.

 

this guy`s got a gut feeling his wife was up to no good and he acted on it. good for him . any other chump would be living in lala land while another man was banging his wife.

 

its clearly his wife was lying and did she cheated? we dont know 100% unless pictures or a home video resurface. but that lie was a tremendous sign of disrespect and if michael takes her back he deserves what looms.

[Casanova4life]

And when you do all that and they still venture off with someone else because they are selfish idiots then what?

 

Did we fail because for as much as we loved them, they still needed to explore something different?

some people dont know how to separate real life from fiction love novels.

[traderho]

I might be in the minority here... but keyloggers are a total invasion of privacy, as is reading someone elses text messages, checking their phone bill, reading their e-mails and having them followed!! And as far as I'm concerned these are all behaviours that are every bit as bad as cheating and were she NOT cheating, I would advise she dump you for doing these things to her!!

 

If your relationship is worth saving you should be able to discuss your relationship openly. I know it's easier said than done, but try just telling her that her strange behaviour recently is making you nervous and see what she says. I would say that if you can't do this then you may as well turn it in anyway! I wouldn't ever let anything turn me into the sort of person that uses a keylogger!!

 

Arent you in an emotional affair with a co-worker? I can see why you would not want anyone looking at texts, phone bills or emails.

[snoop]

Bellas....

 

there is no privacy crap here, if someone is playing you and thinks she or he can get away it is your right to know the truth if they are denying it, cheaters will keep denying until they get busted with a proof. we are talking about lives and feelings here, screw privacy...you want privacy stay single...

[Alstott Fan]

Considering that more states are taking infidelity into account during divorces I'd say compiling evidence is the intelligent thing to do. A good lawyer and the right proof of cheating can save you a lot of cash when it comes to divorce.

[BellaStranger]

If my boyfriend asks me why I'm unhappy- I will tell him the truth

If my boyfriend asks me if there is something going on he should know about- I will tell him the truth

I have NEVER once lied to my boyfriend about anything.

 

If he went through my phone or put a keylogger on my computer, I would break up with him, because if he wants answers all he needs to do is ask me.

 

If you are so untrusting of your relationship and if your relationship is so lacking in communication that you can't just ask then you are also contributing to the fact it is failing. You can't expect total honesty when you are willing to lie and be sneaky in order to spy in them!!

 

'Gathering evidence' is just lowing yourself to the level you see a cheater at, cos it's no better behaviour.

[BellaStranger]

I would also like to point out that it's not like I've never been in the position where I've thought someone was cheating on me... but I've never felt the need to hack into their personal phone/computer/e-mail to find out!!

[iBroken]

If he went through my phone or put a keylogger on my computer, I would break up with him, because if he wants answers all he needs to do is ask me.

 

If you are so untrusting of your relationship and if your relationship is so lacking in communication that you can't just ask then you are also contributing to the fact it is failing. You can't expect total honesty when you are willing to lie and be sneaky in order to spy in them!!

 

I find these two sentences very interesting when you are the OP of this thread

 

When you had the conversation with your BF about your unhappiness, did you tell him about the co-worker? and the stealing kisses? and the feelings, confusion? and the Co-worker being married?

 

Or is he supposed to just know to ask this and if he doesnt ask directly then it isnt lying?

 

If he went through my phone or put a keylogger on my computer, I would break up with him, because if he wants answers all he needs to do is ask me.

 

Would you break up with your current BF given your current other thread because you were actually guilty? or because he had to look because you never came clean? And why do you place the onus of this on your BF?

 

Really, if you are engaging in any behaviour that compromises the integrity of your relationship, YOU are the one that should bring it up, not wait for your boyfriend to ask the right question.

[lostandhurt]

If your state is no fault state then actual in court evidence doesn't really matter. If you live in a fault state then by all means get as much dirt as you can. Sometimes the dirt comes in handy as leverage during the divorce either way. You don't have to even threaten to show her parents or friend and family, just the she knows you have it is enough.

 

This is a terrible situation I have personally lived through. You have a right as one half of the relationship to make sure the relationship is still what it is supposed to be. This doesn't give anyone the right to randomly snoop but once the gut starts talking it is time to listen and watch. There is nothing wrong with protecting yourself and family.

 

Lost

[snoop]

Ibroken you killed it!!!

 

I agree 10000%...girls keep saying they are honest and all...but end up doing behind your back and act innocent...until they get busted with A PROOF. you give your all to her, your heart your soul you try to work things out but oh she is confused and doesnt know what pushed her to do this.. come on give me a break....IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP....

[Brownstone322]

I might be in the minority here... but keyloggers are a total invasion of privacy, as is reading someone elses text messages, checking their phone bill, reading their e-mails and having them followed!! And as far as I'm concerned these are all behaviours that are every bit as bad as cheating and were she NOT cheating, I would advise she dump you for doing these things to her!!

 

If your relationship is worth saving you should be able to discuss your relationship openly. I know it's easier said than done, but try just telling her that her strange behaviour recently is making you nervous and see what she says. I would say that if you can't do this then you may as well turn it in anyway! I wouldn't ever let anything turn me into the sort of person that uses a keylogger!!

You're correct on all counts. You'll find, however, that respect for privacy isn't especially popular, both here and accross society in general (privacy legislation, like free expression, has never been widely supported). People like to snoop, they can easily rationalize it, and they feel pretty good about it. And those are sad facts.

[Rabican]

Without knowing what you mean by circumstantial evidence its hard to say where you should proceed. Some people may be crazy and view 'shes cheating on me' as nothing more than she said hi to another guy.

 

If you found a used rubber in your bathroom that wasnt yours... then thats a little more solid.

 

Im guessing you fall somewhere in the middle.

 

Why not try talking to her first, see whats going on... if that goes nowhere then install a keylogger.

[BellaStranger]

Being in a relationship with someone, or even married to them, does not give you automatic access into every part of there life... you are there by permission-not by right! My bf has read my texts and I have read his (ie. when driving etc) but ALWAYS with permission.

 

You talk about integrity, but there is no integrity in snooping through people's things!

[iBroken]

^ WOW is all I have to say to that post.

 

So basically, because your boyfriend is a and has said hurtful things, then its okay to steal kisses from a co-worker because he's not innocent. Then in the same breath, its not worth telling him this because it will only hurt him in the end and cause more work in your relationship to fix the issues?? So you fall into the cycle where you continue to steal kisses but its okay as your BF will continue to "spew venom".

 

Sorry, but this is selfish. But thats what happens when people cheat. They find justifiable reasons about why they do it and why its best that the other person doesnt need to know.

 

And while there isnt any integrity in snooping through peoples things, there definitely is no integrity in looking into someones eyes and lying to them day in and day out. But thats neither here nor there. I have serious moral issues with infidelity and they are clearing coming out in this post.

 

The main point at hand is this. Your situation is a perfect example as to WHY people feel the need to snoop. Because they know when something "isnt right" and the other person isnt willing to come clean when asked, or on their own accord.

[BellaStranger]

Okay. I have nothing left to say. I'll carry on destroying my relationship through my 'emotional affair' and you guys carry on destroying your relationships through being needy, jealous and having no respect for your partners personal space.

 

Same meat different gravy.

 

I didnt post on this topic to justify my own behaviour, so I'm not going to any further, I just think that snooping is on a par with cheating in terms of disrespecting and destroying a relationship, it's no better- you also are just 'justifying' your inappropriate actions.

[lostandhurt]

I think this thread has been hijacked long enough don't you guys think? There will always be people on here or in life that do things and justify them later.

 

Now back to the show!

 

Proof is often the only way a cheater will finally tell the truth......or at least some of it. Simple fact and proven on this thread.

 

Lost

[hexaemeron]

Okay. I have nothing left to say. I'll carry on destroying my relationship through my 'emotional affair' and you guys carry on destroying your relationships through being needy, jealous and having no respect for your partners personal space.

 

Same meat different gravy.

 

I didnt post on this topic to justify my own behaviour, so I'm not going to any further, I just think that snooping is on a par with cheating in terms of disrespecting and destroying a relationship, it's no better- you also are just 'justifying' your inappropriate actions.

 

I like you.

[Brownstone322]

I didnt post on this topic to justify my own behaviour, so I'm not going to any further, I just think that snooping is on a par with cheating in terms of disrespecting and destroying a relationship, it's no better- you also are just 'justifying' your inappropriate actions.

I'm with you on the high ground, girl.

[jane20]

Sounds so familiar. My hb does the same. The phone record shows that he talks to a woman very often and chat at late night or early mornings. But when I confronted him, he tells me that it was an average friend.

[mandyc]

a little off topic, but I think that is SO creepy that there is software like this. would one know if it was installed on your computer? I could see people using it for the wrong reasons, like some crazy strict parents who wanted to know everything their kid did or something (lol starting to make me think maybe me dad might have done such a thing). It just seems not right to me.

[Unreasonable]

I can't believe people think it's the spouse's duty to remain in blissful ignorance when they have evidence there is cheating going on, even if the evidence is only circumstantial. This woman is clearly LYING and in a very blatant way. He DID ask her about it, and she LIED. Even if she didn't cheat, she proved she is NOT trustworthy.

 

The question is, how far down the rabbit hole did she go? Did she full blown cheat or is she just covering something else up? The only way you can find that out if the person proves they aren't telling the truth is to find out yourself. Either that or walk out. Almost NO one is gonna cover their ears and close their eyes and go "la la la la... everything's fine, it's just my imagination... la la la la..." Gimme a break.

 

Try walking in someone else's shoes for a while. Walking out just because someone is lying to you isn't always an attractive option though, especially when you have a vested interest in staying together because you'd like to avoid a costly divorce and hurt their kids.

 

Right to privacy? Fine. But people also have the right to not be lied to and spend months or even years being cheated on. People that use this software rarely use it because they are simply paranoid. They usually have fairly compelling evidence already, but not proof.

[maelstrom]

I understand the need for proof of suspicions but I think ultimately it's a waste of time. So you prove they cheated, now what? I guess if you're looking for legal proof for a divorce that's one thing, but finding it out doesn't fix the problems in any way.

 

If you are suspicious, dig deeper. What else is wrong with the relationship? If you find out it's true, what will you do? If you find out it's not true, will you just keep going on the way things are or will you try to figure out what's really wrong?

[Unreasonable]

I understand the need for proof of suspicions but I think ultimately it's a waste of time. So you prove they cheated, now what

You go to counselling or you get a divorce. That's what.