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Cheating Spouse software


Michael555

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If you really believe she is cheating enough to go behind her back and watch her every move why not just leave her? You don't trust her. Is that trust really going to come back if you don't find anything?

 

I disagree. If he finds nothing on her he may very well realize that it's him that has the issues and may want to work on them. Why leave a loyal wife because of one own's trust issues that will transpire from one relationship to the next. I think you should run your software and find out for yourself if it's her that's cheating or if it's you that's paranoid for nothing. Best thing you can do is get a keylogger. They are essentially free online and run undetected in the background. Set it up on the computer and review the keystrokes every 24 hours to see if you find any websites or conversations that seem suspicious. Here is my problem with the keylogger arrangement though. Even if you find she is guilty of some wrong doings on the internet, can you really classify this as cheating? Even if you find she is talking to some guy discretely or exchanging photos or whatever you are obviously going to confront her. She will probably give you some run-around excuse and will be that much more careful not to disclose her cheating in the future knowing that you're watching. If I were you I'd run the keylogger and keep a log of what you find. Wait to confront her until she arranges to meet with someone or is doing extreme things ie. exchanging nude photos or sex talk. If you confront her prematurely you blow it for yourself.

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Nope, sorry. I disagree. He'll be fine for awhile until the next time. If there was nothing there to begin with to cause this, it begins and ends with him. Until he works on himself, then it'll come back no matter what she does.

 

Now, if she is cheating, that's different entirely, of course.

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I guess I need to give you guys some details

 

She stayed out late one night and sneaked into the house, said she and "Terri" were having a good time, I know Terri, Terri is nice woman, not worried about that. Then the cellphone bill comes in the mail, turns out she had been on the phone with "Terri" for hours and hundreds of text. Checked wife's phone, no record of text from "Terri" or hours long phone calls from Terri. Checked Terri's number, didn't match up to the number she had been on the phone with for hours at night, or person she was texting before she went out with Terri, Referred back to phone record date that she sneaked back into the house after being out with Terri, turns out she had not been in contact with Terri for days before this sudden "Hey I'm going to have drinks with Terri" comment. I call the number that she had been talking to, a man answered the phone. I hung up. Asked her about this, she lied and said she was talking to Terri, I said thats a lie because 1) I have Terri's real number and 2) I called the number and its a man.

 

So there is your background info, am I wrong to suspect something more? Am I barking up the wrong tree by considering the spy software?

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No you are not!

Trust your gut. I didn't and kept telling myself she would never lie or cheat on me. I was wrong. My gut was yelling at me and I finally listened. Time for you to do the same. They have a cheap tracking device at PepBoys Auto stores or brickhouse that works wonders. Stay quite and watch and listen. You will get what you need, good or bad. When you do stay silent until you decide on your next move. If it is divorce, keep it secret until you have good advice and a plan.

 

Hope for the best and plan for the worst.

 

Lost

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I guess I need to give you guys some details[...]

 

So there is your background info, am I wrong to suspect something more? Am I barking up the wrong tree by considering the spy software?

 

Since the evidence you already have is compelling on its own, the one thing I'd consider before investing energy to bust her (again) is what, exactly do you intend to DO with the information?

 

You've already caught her in a lie, so you already know she's untrustworthy. Now the question becomes, do you really need 'proof' of that before figuring out your next steps, or can you do that work first?

 

I'd go there first, and figure out what my actions would be in the face of a worst case scenario. Then I'd question whether I really need more details to move me into such a plan. If my plan was to stay married and work harder on the marriage, more details would only derail that plan. If my plan was to separate and seek advice from an attorney, then I'd question whether more details are really necessary to move on that.

 

I'd consider this less about her at this point, and more about your Self--and where YOU stand. Once you clarify that, the details are likely irrelevant and would serve no other purpose than to hurt you.

 

My heart goes out to you.

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I agree with Lost (as usual)...trust your gut. I too speak from experience. I didn't trust mine either but eventually busted my ex-fiancee red handed.

 

I say do whatever you need to do (keylogger, confrontation, snooping) to find out the truth, because it is very obvious that she is not telling it to you.

 

It hurts, it's devastating to find this stuff out, but in the long run it's good, because you will finally know the full truth.

 

I'm really sorry this is happening to you. I know it sucks.

 

Take care and God Bless...

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To answer the question of, what am I going to do with the info gathered, well, that will tell me exactly what is going on and if she is cheating then there is no question, I'm done and out!

 

As I stated, all I actually have proof of is her telling me a lie, everything else is purely circumstantial. Remember folks, lawyers do exist! They are real! I don't have any hard proof of her cheating, only the obvious frame work, and this isn't a girlfriend, this is my wife. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. I think I am going above and beyond what I should do because on paper she sounds like a cheat, however I have no actual proof of cheating.

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[...] Remember folks, lawyers do exist! They are real! I don't have any hard proof of her cheating, only the obvious frame work, and this isn't a girlfriend, this is my wife. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. I think I am going above and beyond what I should do because on paper she sounds like a cheat, however I have no actual proof of cheating.

 

Since lawyers exist, why not check with one to find out exactly how necessary it must be to prove anything. If you live in a no-fault state, for instance, there's no need to knock yourself out.

 

Consider also that she knows you're already onto her and could clean things up and return to her best behavior while you're sleuthing. That's why I raise the importance of sorting out where you stand based on what you've got--and your gut.

 

In your corner.

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Oh gosh, please don't take offense...most of us speak from first hand experience. We don't mean to seem callous or un-feeling...quite the contrary, we do care, we just hate the thought of someone else having to go through the same sh*t as we did. We would love nothing more than to head off the same hurt and pain as we have felt.

 

No offense intended...only trying to offer up some first hand experience.

 

all the best to you.

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My heart goes out to you. My gut also told me that my ex was cheating on me, but I pushed it in the back of my mind. I stayed in that relationship many many months too long.

 

Find the evidence before you confront. Otherwise she will deny until the cows come home. Don't find yourself in a position evidence-less, because then you'd look like that "jealous" SO, instead of the loyal one.

 

Use that keylogger.

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I might be in the minority here... but keyloggers are a total invasion of privacy, as is reading someone elses text messages, checking their phone bill, reading their e-mails and having them followed!! And as far as I'm concerned these are all behaviours that are every bit as bad as cheating and were she NOT cheating, I would advise she dump you for doing these things to her!!

 

If your relationship is worth saving you should be able to discuss your relationship openly. I know it's easier said than done, but try just telling her that her strange behaviour recently is making you nervous and see what she says. I would say that if you can't do this then you may as well turn it in anyway! I wouldn't ever let anything turn me into the sort of person that uses a keylogger!!

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@ Bellstranger

 

I total understand your perspective. My wife has read my emails and text messages for months! She would just log into my account and read my emails when I wasn't at home, she would just take my phone and read my text messages. I knew she was doing this, but I had nothing to hide to I let her do this in hopes that it would rest her nerves that and bring an end to her jealousy.

 

And before any ask what is she jealous about, she is jealous about EVERYTHING, to the point where if I have a 4 minute conversation with my sister on the cellphone on Thanksgiving Day, she is upset and an argument immediateily starts the second I get off the phone, just for example!

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