Five weeks of dating steadily, he only calls once or twice a week: is this normal/OK/good?

[FathomFear]

I would like some perspective here -- what do you guys think -- am I being unreasonable for wanting him to call more often at this stage?

 

Are you calling him at all?

[Ms Darcy]

It seems to me though that the frustration would drive him to call me more often? To draw closer?

 

Men (and some women) are interesting in that they can go quicker physically than they do emotionally. Take your time hon.

[FathomFear]

Men (and some women) are interesting in that they can go quicker physically than they do emotionally. Take your time hon.

 

Some people just aren't the type who like chatting on the phone, too. Personally speaking I don't like picking up the phone unless I have something to say. Some people, on the other hand, just like the act of talking even if there's nothing substantial to say.

[citymouse]

Take your time hon.

 

Thanks, Ms. D.

 

 

 

Some people, on the other hand, just like the act of talking even if there's nothing substantial to say.

 

I'm like that. Not sure whether that's a good thing or not, but I do love to yack on the phone a lot. It's good though to remember that everyone is cut from a different cloth. We all have different preferences and styles.

[BriarRose]

Did you have your wine yet, Citymouse? Lol! This guy has sounded crazy about you from day 1. I really think you have nothing to fear.

[Puddincup]

The man I am dating is like this guy you are dating: one call per week usually but we spend the weekends together. I find it hard to put the two together, like you. If he likes me enough to spend the entire weekend with me wouldn't he want to be in more contact during the week? It would be good for me to remember what you said "everyone is cut from different cloth. we all have different preferences and styles" I tend to think if someone is not acting the way that I would act then they must feel differently than I do when actually they may feel the same way as I do but just act different because that is how they act. I don't think I'm making sense but hopefully you get what I'm trying to say.

[citymouse]

Did you have your wine yet, Citymouse? Lol! .

 

I'm having my cheapo chardonnay as we speak, and trying to ignore the fact that the alarm clock goes off in six and a half hours.

 

I feel better after all of this venting.

 

The man I am dating is like this guy you are dating: one call per week usually but we spend the weekends together. I find it hard to put the two together, like you. If he likes me enough to spend the entire weekend with me wouldn't he want to be in more contact during the week? It would be good for me to remember what you said "everyone is cut from different cloth. we all have different preferences and styles" I tend to think if someone is not acting the way that I would act then they must feel differently than I do when actually they may feel the same way as I do but just act different because that is how they act. I don't think I'm making sense but hopefully you get what I'm trying to say.

 

No I totally get what you're saying Puddincup. It's funny how you're going through this too. It IS hard to put the two together. I think the key is to step out of our own shoes and put ourselves in the other person's shoes. Just because I want it doesn't mean that he places the same importance on it. While I'm sitting over here checking my voicemail every five minutes (you know I'm not kidding, right? All night long back and forth to the voicemail button)..... anyway, while I'm sitting here checking my voicemail every five minutes he could be thinking of something completely different. Then again, maybe he really is a player and he's playing me like a fiddle. I don't think so, I hope not, but geeze, I've been burned before and yes I do carry the scars to this day. I do have baggage, I admit it.

[Puddincup]

At our age, baggage is a given!

 

Just so you feel like you're not alone, yesterday the guy I'm dating told me he would be calling me (he's on a business trip) and I carried my cellphone around the house in my bra because I didn't have any pockets and I wanted the phone right beside me so I could jump right on it when he called. Pathetic! He didn't call! He called tonight though and apologized. The business trip is not going well but of course I don't think of that when he doesn't call, just that he must not like me as much as I like him. I feel like a teenager. Shouldn't I be past this at my age? Geeze is right!

[citymouse]

I carried my cellphone around the house in my bra because I didn't have any pockets and I wanted the phone right beside me so I could jump right on it when he called. !

 

 

ROFL!!!

 

OMG I am so glad I am not the only one! I keep the cell phone with me on the toothbrush stand when I take a shower!

[Puddincup]

Yeah I am always moving phones around my house. OF COURSE the phones go into the bathroom when I take a shower. Wonder what these guys would think of us if they knew about all this phone shuffling. Can't they just call for pete's sake?

[citymouse]

Yeah I am always moving phones around my house. OF COURSE the phones go into the bathroom when I take a shower. Wonder what these guys would think of us if they knew about all this phone shuffling. Can't they just call for pete's sake?

 

 

My phone has been on the microwave, the Cuisinart, the coffee maker, the underwear drawer, the makeup table... hasn't been in my bra yet but that's probably just a matter of time.

 

No they can't call us for pete's sake, that would be wayyyy too easy.

[Puddincup]

Maybe they would be flattered that we are so intent on getting their call. Nevertheless I don't want my guy to know about all the phone shuffling. I'd feel like an idiot! It's nice to be able to confess this stuff to someone though. At least you guys know where I am coming from.

[citymouse]

I agree, it is so therapeutic to be able to vent online. Then I can act all cool like I've got my act together when I see him again. Little does he know.

[Puddincup]

I think we are doing them a favor by venting this stuff here or to our friends. I am pretty sure that this guy I'm dating would not be that interested in propping me up. At one point or another I said something to him like "well sometime I'm insecure" and he said "what do you think you are the only one who gets insecure? I have insecurities too." Huh.....who knew? I forget that the wonder what we think too. I got to get out of my own head more.