Maybe stress is getting to us both...

[HellFrost666]

I know I've been posting way too many threads lately, and I am sorry if this bothers anyone.

 

Last night my girlfriend and I got into a huge argument. It was one of the worst arguments we've ever had. (In fact there was only one two years ago that I would say was worse.) Maybe it's because we don't argue that often and I am not hardened to it... But whenever we argue I just feel devastated afterworlds. I know all couples argue. I know it's perfectly healthy.

 

And the sad part is... I am sitting here thinking about what it was over, and it really makes no sense. It started out as a minor disagreement about a minor thing, but it ended up being this huge blowout about the drama going on in both of our families right now.

 

My girlfriend's Mom can be really vindictive and really two faced. I am just so tired of her crap.

 

When this was over she had to go back in to work for a few hours. (That's another story in itself, where she works expects her to just drop everything and show up on their beck and call.)

 

So, she went back to work and I proceeded to drown my sorrows in black Velvet while posting here in Off Topic.

 

She got up early this morning and went to Church with her friend. I somehow slept through her getting ready and leaving. She was gone when I got up.

 

I haven't had the chance to make up with her yet... I hate this feeling.

[Seraphim]

I hate those kinds of arguments. It is always best to make up before the other person walks away but it is not always possible. Sometimes when you are stressed the dumbest things can become a huge issues. Chin up though.

[jengh]

I hate those... they're so awful and when you think back on it you can't, for the life of you, figure out why it escalated so much. My boyfriend and I never fight and when we do, it always ends up being something so trivial escalating. She probably feels just as crappy as you do right now. I would just tell her you're really sorry things got out of control and ended up like this. I'm not entirely sure whose fault the argument was, if it was your fault, apologize for that. In any case, it will blow over.

 

Stress definitely can get the best of you. You've been going through a hell of a lot lately, it's understandable you'd be on edge.

[catfeeder]

Hello HF,

Sorry you're both going through this. It's good that you recognize that the fight was prompted by something insignificant--this doesn't sound like the typical whine and blame post we often see. You've been in a pressure-cooker for a long time, and you're able to see how it just blew.

 

It's good to give one another time to cool off, and it doesn't sound as though you'll play those awful pride games to outlast the other with a cold shoulder. Just apologize when you feel the time is right.

 

I just checked your other threads, and there's something you need to know about disputing unemployment. ALWAYS dispute a denied claim. Unless your employer can prove something horrible (that's their responsibility) like drugs, insubordination or excessive absences, the claimant usually wins. A huge percentage of claims go through this, and I've had to go through this myself. MOST employers fight initial unemployment claims as a matter of procedure unless it was a mass layoff. They don't often follow through with the fight, and MOST claimants win.

 

The denial hearing is a simple sit-down with one claims agent, and as dour as they may seem, they do try to give you a win. Your win can be automatic if the employer doesn't follow the right procedures to fight your claim, and that can require them to physically go there, which most won't do. I'd look as clean-cut as you can pull off, and if GF can't go as your witness (no need to volunteer that she's your GF) then have her write a statement.

 

Your GF's statement should be exactly what your boss told her. Period.

 

You'll win, I'd bet money on it.

 

I hope things get better for you soon. No doubt they will in time, and you'll look back on all of this and be proud of yourself for getting through it.

[HellFrost666]

I hate those... they're so awful and when you think back on it you can't, for the life of you, figure out why it escalated so much. My boyfriend and I never fight and when we do, it always ends up being something so trivial escalating. She probably feels just as crappy as you do right now. I would just tell her you're really sorry things got out of control and ended up like this. I'm not entirely sure whose fault the argument was, if it was your fault, apologize for that. In any case, it will blow over.

 

Stress definitely can get the best of you. You've been going through a hell of a lot lately, it's understandable you'd be on edge.

 

We are the same way... We hardly ever argue. We've been together almost 5 years and I can count on one hand the number of serious arguments we've had. We've actually had friends tell us that it's unhealthy that we don't argue much and that healthy couples argue more.

 

I guess this one was my fault...

 

Her Mom works in a grocery store and I was in the store yesterday picking up a few things. I saw her Mom and we talked for a few minutes. Her Mom made a comment to me that was a little out of place and it annoyed me.

 

I told my girlfriend about it and my girlfriend was like "Well maybe she didn't mean it like that, maybe she meant it a different way." And I should have thought before I spoke, but I didn't, and I said "Why the hell do you always defend her?"

 

And that started it. We had this huge blowout that started out about the way her Mom treats me and also treats her. And ended up being about my Mom and my sister disliking her so much.

 

Church services are over at 11 and she's still not back yet. Her and her friend usually go get coffee after Church lets out. She probably had her cell phone ringer off during the service and forgot to turn it back on. SHe didn't pick up when I called her.

 

And just a side note, I know how funny some of you find it that my girlfriend actually goes to Church. But she does, she has her reasons.

[HellFrost666]

I was debating whether or not to fight it. I've heard it's almost impossible to get unemployment around here. And I know from personal experience that most of my friends who've lost jobs were denied. So I was wondering if it's even worth the stress of fighting it to just be denied again. Idk...

[catfeeder]

Consider that you only have money to gain by filling out the stupid form and showing up for a 5 minute meeting, and you have zero to lose.

 

This doesn't need to be any more stressful than filling out job applications. It's a form. Big deal. It's not as though you need to take time out from something money-producing to do this.

 

Denial of claims is NORMAL procedure. Most people don't know this, so it's a standard way for them to filter down claims. How many of the people you know who've been denied actually filed the appeal?

 

If you're denied again, it's just one more letter to receive. So what? What's so stressful about being one form and one handshake away from the money you've paid into the fund? DO IT!!!

 

(Thank you, , thank you very much...)

[JeckyllNHyde]

Ugh.. I HATE the feeling you described too HF.

It's like you can't focus on anything else and you just want it to be over already. I end up feeling devistated too.

 

Me and the bf also don't argue much, aside from lately. It's always minor things... always. But it always seems to escalate into a silence war.

 

 

I hope you and your gf will speak soon. From what you explained I think you guys will end up a stronger couple since you hardly ever fight like this.

[Seraphim]

Ugh.. I HATE the feeling you described too HF.

It's like you can't focus on anything else and you just want it to be over already. I end up feeling devistated too.

 

Me and the bf also don't argue much, aside from lately. It's always minor things... always. But it always seems to escalate into a silence war.

 

 

I hope you and your gf will speak soon. From what you explained I think you guys will end up a stronger couple since you hardly ever fight like this.

 

Yes, that feeling is awful! I always feel absolutely gutted whenever I have an argument with anyone.