Am I weak or strong for this jaded outlook

[matius]

In my experience, I have seen people cheat, stay with their bf/gf afterwards, and hear about this or that person messing around in any given social group. I also know of business situations where bosses take advantage of their subordinates. From the players on the inside a common theme in the business world.

 

I have been cheated on in the past, and someone I have been with was cheating on another, yet never considered us to be bad people in context. I don't cheat or set out to do so, but do not believe others to be so trustworthy. All it takes is one night or the right moment.

 

Is it just human nature. I almost want to believe that - as long as I'm not given a disease, find out of it, openly disrespected, or it's shown I am not wanted... It makes sense to me to let it go, and banish the worry. It would help curb jealousy & insecurity accepting what I feel is inevitable.

 

I see it too often, and can't help notice the divorce rate. So is this being weak?I just don't want to worry anymore.

[In the Dark]

My outlook is the same as yours.

 

I see the divorce rate and it appears to me people would rather find someone else than mend a relationship.

 

Really saddening honestly

[tina-rocks]

As a women who's husband cheated on. I would say the weakness lies in the person who commits the act of adultery or cheating if you like. There are many occasions during a persons lifetime where they will feel a connection with someone other then their significant other. The key is to not act on these feelings and to think about others. Those people who will be hurt should you decide to persue, what you know to be wrong.

 

Honesty is tantamount in any relationship so unless you are in an open relationship where the other partner is aware there will be times where you go down those particular avenues then any form of cheating is not simply human nature in my eyes.

 

You can look of course you can, but never touch or act on feelings of this nature, unless you are free and single.

 

I am also saddened by the divorce rate in todays society and although I understand why some simply cannot stay with their partner due to circumstances beyond their control. It seems working on your relationship to keep it fresh, in some cases just doesn't enter into the equation, when vowels are exchanged. It is also, far too easy to get divorced then in years gone by.

 

Christina

[matius]

...not to say that infidelity is the cause of every divorce.

 

I have trouble reading social situations. People like to flirt, if the one you're with is flirting or very social, you can't say anything without looking like a control + freak, and on the flipside maybe you look like they're disrespecting you. I don't understand the line... So why not drop it?

[tina-rocks]

Some people are flirtatious whilst in relationships but it depends on how far they go with flirting? Do you mean a flick of a smile, or innocent gesture, or perhaps a kiss on the cheek? It's hard to quantify, we each know right from wrong so surely, we can see if we are doing something which simply feels like we are taking a step too far.

 

Christina

[Scorpion Fury]

I will never accept infidelity as something normal that I should tolerate and turn the other cheek. If that's the case, then I would rather just be alone. I'm not afraid to be alone.

[Day_Walker]

I think that each person when they get married has to decide what they are going to put up with and what they are not going to put up with. I personally think that the divorce rate would have been much higher in the past if women were able to work, or could make a living where they did not have to depend on their husbands.

 

I think that today we have the freedom of movement and we have the means to exit a bad relationship when a person sees fit. I dont see that as a bad thing. I think that if people want to idolize the fairy tale love story/marriage then they miss what happens in reality.

 

Not ever marriage will work, people generally just make decisions based on emotion as to who they love, but that doesnt mean the relationship will work out. There is a big difference between loving a person and staying committed to that person.

[SapphireNoir10]

I wouldnt go as far as to accept it as inevitable. I guess in a relationship you just have to accept you can't control the other person or know what will happen in the future. All you can do is enjoy and nuture the relationship as best you can and hope for the best without worrying too much about the future.

[rosephase]

I do feel that everyone wants to have sex with more than just one person. I know I do. I know my partner does. What I don’t think is needed is the dishonesty about it. That is why I’m in an open relationship. I feel like it is both natural and good to love, and be sexual with more than one person. I know it’s impossible to be attracted to only one person and I think it’s a little crazy that we have built a culture around “one true love”

 

All I ask is it to be out in the open. That we share our feelings and our desires with the people we love. And that we trust them to still love us even when we love someone else or what to have sex with someone else. It’s not always easy, but I feel like the work of dealing with your insecurities is a positive thing and having to face your fears only leads to growth.

 

I think people who make monogamy work are great, but I also feel that the less traveled path of multiple relationships is a really rewarding lifestyle. I get to love my partners, struggle with my insecurities, face my fears, live up to expectations and always feel like there is room in my heart and my life for more people, sex, adventure, growth and struggle.

 

That is the way I deal with it.

[vertigoxo]

I really hope there are nice guys out there who doesn't feel the need to cheat for such stupid reasons. This is why romantic relationships are only for people who are emotionally available, mentally fit, and have no emotional baggages (whether it's past abuse, old flames, etc.) to be able to handle such relationships. Otherwise, what's the point?

 

Some people are actually sick enough to either blame their partners for the cheating incident, or make their partners "understand" where they are coming from. I don't care if your father left you, or your mother died when you were little. I don't care if you feel the need to be affectionate and have sex with anyone who is in the same room as you while I'm gone because you have a mental illness or you have missing daddy/mommy issues- Yes, that sounds harsh as hell, but there is NO REASON at all to put through another person in pain because of your own problems. Go to therapy and straighten your issues out first before you decide to pursue an innocent person's heart.

 

Of course, nobody's perfect- You might cheat on someone you love one day and become very regretful. I think that's the best thing someone can do when they do that... Apologize and to work on bettering the current relationship. No if's, and's, or but's.

[DropToZero]

It all comes down to choice.

 

Human nature is an excuse, though there is weakness because of our sexual drives and flesh I will admit, it is still an excuse and does not hold up to the choice no matter how you look at it.

[Scorpion Fury]

^^^ word up

[vertigoxo]

It all comes down to choice.

 

Human nature is an excuse, though there is weakness because of our sexual drives and flesh I will admit, it is still an excuse and does not hold up to the choice no matter how you look at it.

 

I agree and I hate it when men use the "gotta spread them seedz around to populate the Earth, lulz!" excuse to justify their cheating. I'm sorry, but even if that were true, we are man and we are above our primal/animalistic lust and we should stop behaving like cavemen and instead behave like the modern human. I don't suppose the player who use the spreading seeds to populate the Earth excuse is going to like it one bit when the lady he met at the club a while back calls him up to confirm that the baby is his and he needs to pay for child support for the next 18 years of his life.

 

How do you like them apples?

[Kantriakhor]

Yes, you're being weak. You're allowing the actions of others change how you, yourself, act. You're letting other people change your outlook.

 

You deserve to not have to worry about that in a relationship.

You deserve to trust your partner wholly and without worry.

 

You're jaded, that happens, but what makes you weak or strong is if you stay in this defeatist state of mind or not.

 

Choice is yours.

[Kantriakhor]

I agree and I hate it when men use the "gotta spread them seedz around to populate the Earth, lulz!"

 

Best part of that line: It's false.

 

Evolutionary speaking, females pick males who would be the best mate for them and their offspring this means that the males would need to show they're faithful, they're commitment, and they're ability be around for the raising of the young.

 

Seeing as many mammals and other types of animals exhibit this behaviour, that line is shown to be flimsy and only really applicable to most egg-laying animals where htey don't tend to the young at all, like frogs or salmon.

[arcadefire]

I'm sorry, but cheating is wrong. If you deceive someone, lie to their face, and can cause potential hurt and pain (not to mention unknowingly give them STDs), then it sure is wrong. It doesn't matter whether half of the population does it or not. Drunk driving is wrong too, but so many people do it, and it's wrong because it places harm on the innocent. Practice the golden rule.

 

If you go about every relationship with someone thinking they should not be trusted or expecting them to turn around and cheat on you, then perhaps you are missing out on a very beautiful part of life indeed.

[Jen7]

I'm so glad to see the men on here who stand up for being faithful. Thank you men, b/c you are real men.

[Jen7]

It's ok that you are jaded, it happens easily from this world. However, they are right, do not allow their behavior to dictate who you choose to be and how you choose to act. Do not let them steal your joy and love for life. Be a person who you can admire, unlike the people you speak of, because we need as many good people in the world as we can get!!