Would women here ever date a man who was unemployed?

[ohemgee]

You think? How so?

 

The vast majority of people do not love their work and merely engage in it as a means to an end; rare and blessed are those who have the fortune to do something they enjoy.

 

From the way you describe your job search and desire to work is to find someone. Your desire to work should be building a future for yourself.

 

Women want stability. Not someone who will feel complacent with the relationship and feel like they just want to work to get by. Getting by isn't fun. Getting by and saving and maintaining a happy and healthy life is fun.

 

It seems you work to get by?

[EternalSingle]

From the way you describe your job search and desire to work is to find someone. Your desire to work should be building a future for yourself.

 

Women want stability. Not someone who will feel complacent with the relationship and feel like they just want to work to get by. Getting by isn't fun. Getting by and saving and maintaining a happy and healthy life is fun.

 

It seems you work to get by?

 

I suppose.

 

Most people I know do not love their work. I think it is a rarity.

[WomanWriter]

I would date someone unemployed, as long as they didn't plan on staying that way. Lots of things happen in life and I'm aware of that. I wouldn't bother wanting to get married if I didn't believe in "In sickness and in health." Heck, I'm un/under-employed and I feel like it's hard for me to meet guys because my situation looks bad (living at home). I feel like guys judge that even though I can't do too much right now other than keep looking.

 

On the other hand, if he stayed home playing videogames all day, I probably wouldn't be interested.

[ohemgee]

I suppose.

 

Most people I know do not love their work. I think it is a rarity.

 

That adds its own set of red flags, also....People who are unhappy in their jobs tend to be unhappy in general. If 1/3 of your life was dedicated to something you loathed, why would anyone be happy?

[Scorpion Fury]

I would date a man that was very actively looking for work. I'm not talking about sending out a couple resumes and then screwing around on his XBox all day. Eventually if enough time passed and he still didn't have a job or a real plan, I'd have to shake hands and say goodbye though. Lack of ambition is a turn off.

[EternalSingle]

I would date a man that was very actively looking for work. I'm not talking about sending out a couple resumes and then screwing around on his XBox all day. Eventually if enough time passed and he still didn't have a job or a real plan, I'd have to shake hands and say goodbye though. Lack of ambition is a turn off.

 

It is funny that unambitious women do not have the same problem, eh?

[Scorpion Fury]

It is funny that unambitious women do not have the same problem, eh?

 

What problem?

 

Most ambitious men want an ambitious woman.

[ohemgee]

It is funny that unambitious women do not have the same problem, eh?

 

For me it shares the same annoyance. If she were actively looking I wouldn't care. But I don't want someone who just floats on going with the flow. I want a woman whose ambitious and intelligent. Who has goals.

 

I would date her if she didn't have a job, but still knew what she wanted to do.

 

I don't deal well with dumb, clueless females.

[EternalSingle]

What problem?

 

Most ambitious men want an ambitious woman.

 

Women can afford to earn less, be less ambitious and generally have to compete less than men...I disagree. I want a loyal, warm and affectionate woman, not a woman boiling over with beads of sweat for her ambition.

[hexaemeron]

Women can afford to earn less, be less ambitious and generally have to compete less than men...I disagree. I want a loyal, warm and affectionate woman, not a woman boiling over with beads of sweat for her ambition.

 

...I don't think I agree with this.

[ohemgee]

Women can afford to earn less, be less ambitious and generally have to compete less than men...I disagree. I want a loyal, warm and affectionate woman, not a woman boiling over with beads of sweat for her ambition.

 

I agree that they have to compete less.

 

I'm sure some females would like a man whose a bum...We call those women, dumb or disfunctional because they love to feel needed. I suspect this lady in my office is one of them because she always is talking to losers. I think it makes her feel good to instruct a man on how to make a pop-tart.

[Scorpion Fury]

Women can afford to earn less, be less ambitious and generally have to compete less than men...I disagree. I want a loyal, warm and affectionate woman, not a woman boiling over with beads of sweat for her ambition.

 

Cool for you, but many men feel differently.

[hexaemeron]

I agree that they have to compete less.

 

I'm sure some females would like a man whose a bum...We call those women, dumb or disfunctional because they love to feel needed. I suspect this lady in my office is one of them because she always is talking to losers. I think it makes her feel good to instruct a man on how to make a pop-tart.

 

Ohhh, the relationship "Mom" syndrome. Blech.

[Scorpion Fury]

As for women competing less, if they wanna succeed in a man's world, they actually have to compete better and harder.

[IntotheWild]

I'm unemployed and still live at home and I can always find gals that are interested. They're usually weird and a bit off, but then so am I.

 

Seems to me like your real problem is you want a woman too badly. Desperation is a turn off... you want to get a job so you can get a girl? Eh... weak motive, my friend. Women tend to be attracted to passion and direction, but they'll even settle for a lack of passion and direction so long as you don't proclaim women as your life's motivation.

 

Most ambitious people don't really even know what they're chasing or why they're chasing it... not beyond their surface reasons anyways. But hey, it's part of the mechanics of human attraction and ambition attracts. It's a force, and logical or not, reasonable or not, it's there.

 

Passion is a very broad and unrestrictive thing. You don't have to be passionate about school, work, or money... you could be passionate about making bongs from supplies at Home Depot and you'll attract stoner girls who are just as apathetic about life as you. Whatever, right?

 

My advice... question your motives about why you want a woman. Sure, they're nice people, but there's no reason to get desperate over having one. Go find something that interests you, whether it pays or not, and do that. Find a passion.

[EternalSingle]

As for women competing less, if they wanna succeed in a man's world, they actually have to compete better and harder.

 

Aye, but there's the rub. Women do not and have never competed in a 'man's' world and male criteria for mate selection have never been based on such things.

[JeckyllNHyde]

Well lots of people are unemployed. And I'd prefer to date someone at least looking for a job. Or someone who was actively trying to come up with his own business ideas in the mean time. Someone ambitious.

 

Obviously 18yr old girls would have less problems dating an unemployed person, b/c they aren't usually thinking long term and/or haven't experienced dating unemployed people yet, to see the negatives.

 

I like a guy who can live comfortably, b/c then I feel more comfortable too: I'm not worried about them having food on the table, we can go out and have fun without me worrying if we're spending more then they can afford (I won't pay EVERY date/all the time for us both.. that's just spoiling the person too much and making them comfortable being broke), or accepting things from them.

[Scorpion Fury]

Aye, but there's the rub. Women do not and have never competed in a 'man's' world and male criteria for mate selection have never been based on such things.

 

The hell they don't. Any women with a career that doesn't involve baking cookies or selling Mary Kay is competing in a man's world. Times have changed. The good old days of the wife staying home and keeping up on the house and children while daddy goes to work and brings home the bacon are becoming outdated quickly. These days, it often takes two incomes to raise a family.

 

Male criteria for mate selection? You cannot speak for every male out there or assume that just because you think a certain way, the rest of the world does too. Maybe you should make a thread about how many men require intelligence and ambition in a potential mate. You might be surprised by the results.

[ohemgee]

As for women competing less, if they wanna succeed in a man's world, they actually have to compete better and harder.

 

 

I think he meant in the "he wont dump me for being unambitious" sense. Not competing in a job field.

 

In which case women also have it easier. I think. It's not still a man's world. More men are being hit by the economy harder than women. Because a lot of male dominated fields are being hit the hardest.

 

And its easier for a women to get a non-traditional job assuming they can do all the same things a man can. Only because of the whole non-traditional factor.

 

5 or 6 years ago MIT was having problems getting women in and were going as far as to accepting females who scored lower on their SAT's than some men who got rejected having similar extracurricular.

[IntotheWild]

5 or 6 years ago MIT was having problems getting women in and were going as far as to accepting females who scored lower on their SAT's than some men who got rejected having similar extracurricular.

 

Yeah, MIT can be a bit dry as far as the ladies go. But their admissions standards are so non-traditional that you really can't reduce it to gender. They accept some guys with pretty low SAT scores who have had more unique life experiences. Their idea is to build a diverse community where success can be fostered, and they realize that it takes a lot more than grades and scores to achieve anything noteworthy in this world.

 

In any case, five minutes on the train and you can sit on a bench in Harvard yard and watch plenty of nice ladies walk by.

[jmantra]

I am unemployed, and TBPH, I kind of enjoy it. It's nice to sit around all day and still have enough money to get by via unemployment benefits. I am not totally lazy though, I've been on three interviews so far this month.

 

As far dating goes, I am going to have to put that on hold for now because as much as I enjoy not working, it really hurts my self-image, I'd much rather be working. If I try to date a woman I want her to see me at my best, not when I am down and out.

[Blue Spiral]

A woman's employment status doesn't make my top ten list of most important things...it doesn't even make my top thousand list.

[tina-rocks]

Of course I would date someone who was without work if I liked them it would have little bearing for me as it's the connection you have with the person that counts, not what might be in the bank.

 

Money pays the bills but happiness is priceless..

 

Christina

[StrawberryYogurt]

A woman's employment status doesn't make my top ten list of most important things...it doesn't even make my top thousand list.

 

It should though, maybe not top ten, but top twenty.

[EternalSingle]

Of course I would date someone who was without work if I liked them it would have little bearing for me as it's the connection you have with the person that counts, not what might be in the bank.

 

Money pays the bills but happiness is priceless..

 

Christina

 

You appear to be a rare soul. It's a shame there aren't more out there like you.