Would women here ever date a man who was unemployed?

[FortunateOne]

Because Annie claimed that gender equality had something to do with most households needing two people in order to be supported when it is the inflationary monetary policy of the 'Federal' Reserve that is the real culprit.

 

No, I think you are about 135 years too late. It was the Rothschild family dynasty that invented the fractionalized reserve system. All world central banks use this model to create the modern debt driven economic system. Now is this a modern form of indentured slavery? Yes, I do believe so. I did my undergrad thesis on the debt 'vs value based economic beliefs. This is why Milton Friedmann is my favorite economist.

[annie24]

i do rejoice. i have standards for which men i let in between my legs. yay me!!!

[Blue Spiral]

Why did you stop answering the multiple choice questions?

 

A combination of apathy and the fact that it felt pretty undignified.

[EternalSingle]

i do rejoice. i have standards for which men i let in between my legs. yay me!!!

 

What field are you doing your PhD in?

[IntotheWild]

I think it's laughable that you think I have a shopping list.

 

I don't think that about you. I think you're another person trying to find some happiness in this life. And I hope you do.

[FortunateOne]

I missed it by a wee bit so I'm going to have to call you shallow.

[annie24]

are you really a zealot? i mean, you're not one of those guys who stands on the street corner passing out bibles, carrying homophobic signs, right?

[Blue Spiral]

Ok, go ahead. Call me shallow, me and my freaking list.

 

I don't think you're shallow. But I think it's a bit disingenuous to list it all at once, without saying which are truly important--I somehow have a feeling that "ambition" is far more important to you than having someone that wants to go to shows and movies. You make it sound like it's just another thing on your list.

 

I also have a list, but there's nothing economic on it. I'm not attacking you or anyone else, I'm just saying, it isn't a factor for me.

[annie24]

I don't think that about you. I think you're another person trying to find some happiness in this life. And I hope you do.

 

thanks, i hope so too.

[EternalSingle]

I don't think you're shallow. But I think it's a bit disingenuous to list it all at once, without saying which are truly important--I somehow have a feeling that "ambition" is far more important to you than having someone that wants to go to shows and movies. You make it sound like it's just another thing on your list.

 

I also have a list, but there's nothing economic on it. I'm not attacking you or anyone else, I'm just saying, it isn't a factor for me.

 

Well said mate.

[annie24]

I don't think you're shallow. But I think it's a bit disingenuous to list it all at once, without saying which are truly important--I somehow have a feeling that "ambition" is far more important to you than having someone that wants to go to shows and movies. You make it sound like it's just another thing on your list.

 

I also have a list, but there's nothing economic on it. I'm not attacking you or anyone else, I'm just saying, it isn't a factor for me.

 

sure, some things on the list are more important than others. If my mate doesn't want to go and watch "The Lion King" musical with me, that's fine, I'll go with a friend. Obviously, ambition is important. But ambition doesn't equal money. The Olive Garden manager whose ambition was to make sure that his customers had an excellent dining experience was a very ambitious man, one of the most ambitious I had met. He said he spent a lot of time making sure that the food safety protocols were being met, that the glassware was not chipped, that the guests were enjoying their food, etc... Likewise, i've met plenty of engineering students who were only in it because their parents told them to. that's not ambition to me.

 

maybe you don't have anything economic on your list because like the others before you have stated, men have traditionally been the breadwinners and 'youth and beauty' of women is the characteristic they have traditionally looked for! not her earning power.

[EternalSingle]

Why are you not still together with the Olive Garden guy?

[Blue Spiral]

maybe you don't have anything economic on your list because like the others before you have stated, men have traditionally been the breadwinners and 'youth and beauty' of women is the characteristic they have traditionally looked for! not her earning power.

 

...or maybe I just don't consider "ambition" (I'm sorry, I still think that's a codeword for a certain kind of "having extra" lifestyle) to be attractive, and find it pretty squicky that anyone, man or woman, would choose a partner with that as a significant requirement.

[FortunateOne]

are you really a zealot? i mean, you're not one of those guys who stands on the street corner passing out bibles, carrying homophobic signs, right?

 

No, worse... I'm one of those guys that stand on the metaphoric street corner preaching to folks that the universe is a soup of open-ended Plank's length string particles being pushed around by closed-looped strings masquerading as gravity (Higg's field) to degrade our higher energy state back to the basic singularity that existed before two universal membranes (M-Theory) collided to form the imperfect energy we are while holding up a sign asking "Where's the Beef" (no gay inference). Phew! I wrote that in one breath.

 

Here's wehere I stand:

 

 

[annie24]

Why are you not still together with the Olive Garden guy?

 

hahaha! interesting story. I only had one date with him. we met on a dating site. We went out for 4 hours, talked and talked and talked. he paid for dinner, i paid for dessert. He told me he had a really good time and hoped to see me again. he also said in the email that he hoped he didn't bore me. (??) i don't know why he would have said that, apart from insecurity, because i found him absolutely fascinating and i really admired him - he came to the US, taught himself english, and worked his way up from busboy in the back of the restaurant to the regional manager. I wrote back saying that i had a really great time with him and would like to see him again.

 

I didn't hear back from him for a few days, so i decided to call him. He was a bit short with me on the phone, said he was on his way out to a volleyball game. I said ok, 'did you want to get together tomorrow?' he said 'sure.' i said, '8 PM?' he said great. (we didn't come up with a place to meet, i just assumed that he would call me in the early evening to make a plan). well, 8:10 PM rolls around, i am dressed up and ready to go. no call. I call him, and it goes straight to voicemail. i left a message like, 'Hi - it's annie, It's 8:10, just wanted to see what the plan is for tonight.'

 

never heard from him. that was that!

 

so, i don't know. the first date went really really well, there was tons of chemistry, and he initially indicated that he wanted to go on a date with me again. i don't know what could have changed his mind. maybe he got back with an ex? maybe he found someone new? maybe he decided we would never work out? maybe he was married and it was all a lie?

 

oh well. but i use him as an example of a man who is ambitious, but who isn't in a job that makes a lot of money (at least, i don't think they make tons of money). he was intelligent, without having a formal education.

[EternalSingle]

Why are you single now?

[annie24]

...or maybe I just don't consider "ambition" (I'm sorry, I still think that's a codeword for a certain kind of "having extra" lifestyle) to be attractive, and find it pretty squicky that anyone, man or woman, would choose a partner with that as a significant requirement.

 

ah, maybe i should say passion or drive. really, because i'm not talking about money. did you ever watch the movie "Office Space?" I'm talking about the lead character, who hates his office desk job, and just drags in day in and day out. and he complains about his job all day. and wants to shoot himself when he's at work.

 

that's not the sort of man i am interested in. I mean, someone with a real passion for what he does, and if he is dissatisfied with his job, goes out and takes steps to change it, rather than whining about it.

 

here's another guy i dated - i met a guy in physics class when i was an undergrad. after dating for a few weeks, he decided to drop out of school, because he wanted to pursue his love, music. ok........ so, after he dropped out, i assumed that since he dropped out to pursue his music career, he would take it seriously. ie, taking lessons, practicing for hours a day, etc...... no. i'd ask him, 'what did you do today? did you practice?' he'd say, 'nothing. laid around the house.' blah.

[annie24]

Why are you single now?

 

oh, that's a hard one. i have a dating journal if you are interested, lol.

 

i guess i'm single because i haven't met the right guy yet! other guys i've dated, things haven't worked out for one reason or another.

 

currently, i am in the last year of my phd and since i'm moving after i finish, i figure may as well not start anything up. a lot of guys i met online were from this area and plan to stay here forever, as i do not. so.... i guess that is a dealbreaker. right now, i am just focusing on finishing.

 

i think once i move, and get settled in, i will go back into searching.

[Blue Spiral]

that's not the sort of man i am interested in. I mean, someone with a real passion for what he does, and if he is dissatisfied with his job, goes out and takes steps to change it, rather than whining about it.

 

...I assume you're only okay with that as long as those steps work, yes?

[IntotheWild]

here's another guy i dated - i met a guy in physics class when i was an undergrad. after dating for a few weeks, he decided to drop out of school, because he wanted to pursue his love, music. ok........ so, after he dropped out, i assumed that since he dropped out to pursue his music career, he would take it seriously. ie, taking lessons, practicing for hours a day, etc...... no. i'd ask him, 'what did you do today? did you practice?' he'd say, 'nothing. laid around the house.' blah.

 

Maybe he was more into the eclectic styles... percussion of couch cushions, high-hat-like clanging of forks and knives on plates, the windy sounds of snoring...

[annie24]

...I assume you're only okay with that as long as those steps work, yes?

 

oh, you mean, if he tries, and then can't find a better job? i don't know - i believe if you want to change your situation, you can. he can go back to school, or switch fields or something. maybe if there are circumstances where he has to stay, i guess that's what has to happen. like if we have a very sick child and his current job gives excellent health insurance, and it would be bad for the child for him to quit his job because we wouldn't be able to find better health care, yeah he should stay. but maybe find something else that makes him happy - (as long as it doesn't involve cocktail waitresses and strip clubs!!!)

[annie24]

Maybe he was more into the eclectic styles... percussion of couch cushions, high-hat-like clanging of forks and knives on plates, the windy sounds of snoring...

 

lol........................

[Blue Spiral]

oh, you mean, if he tries, and then can't find a better job? i don't know - i believe if you want to change your situation, you can.

 

I don't. This is what I'm very awkwardly trying to get at: I believe that most women (and, I'm sure, many men) want someone who's a "winner," whether they make money with that winning or not. We can call it ambition or passion or stability or whatever, but at the end of the day, they want someone who's thriving at whatever level they happen to be at.

 

And I'm saying, I don't care about that. If not for the outside world, it'd never occur to me to use that to judge a person.

[EternalSingle]

I don't. This is what I'm very awkwardly trying to get at: I believe that most women (and, I'm sure, many men) want someone who's a "winner," whether they make money with that winning or not. We can call it ambition or passion or stability or whatever, but at the end of the day, they want someone who's thriving at whatever level they happen to be at.

 

And I'm saying, I don't care about that. If not for the outside world, it'd never occur to me to use that to judge a person.

 

Right on man...

[annie24]

I don't. This is what I'm very awkwardly trying to get at: I believe that most women (and, I'm sure, many men) want someone who's a "winner," whether they make money with that winning or not. We can call it ambition or passion or stability or whatever, but at the end of the day, they want someone who's thriving at whatever level they happen to be at.

 

And I'm saying, I don't care about that. If not for the outside world, it'd never occur to me to use that to judge a person.

 

well it's not precisely judging. just when it comes to picking out your mate and the person you are going to have children with, it helps to be picky. obviously, life throws lots of curve-balls, and you want to wind up with a partner next to you that will help you navigate those challenges. what if one person lost their job? what if both did? how would you manage? what would you do? these are serious concerns now. he can make a lot of money, but if he gambles it away, he's not a good husband. if he doesn't make a lot, but is good about using coupons and sticking to a budget, and saving money each month, he sounds like a better prospect.

 

if he gets laid off, will he make a half-assed attempt to find a new job, or will he be out there, pounding the pavement everyday and getting more education?