Reasons to let go

[matador1972]

Im really struggling to let go and i know i have to. Been over 2 months and i need to do it now.

 

She's split up the family for her own selfish reasons (grass greener)

She's vain.

She's very closed off and uptight.

She's started asking me to take the kids more so she can spend more time with her new boyfriend, i now have the kids most of the time.

She obsesses over everything, food, exercise.

She was rubbish at sex, never opened her eyes once in 18 years.

She has trouble expressing love and emotions openly.

She is a neat freak.

She left just as my daughter was about to start her exams.

She has a hairy face.

 

That should do for starters, ill update as i remember more.

[vivia12]

Good reasons you may have to put it on a post it all arond your house so you dont break NC (No Contact)_

here's my reasons for letting me go which i think its time already

 

 

1. he's selfish

2. he's very very selfish

3. he's a narcissist,yes another word for selfish

4. he gets on my very last Dang nerves

5. i'm beginning to think all men are like him so i will think lobg and hard geting into another mess/relationship

6. i wish he would just fall off the Earth and die,him with his girlfriend too.

 

I have tons more but that'll do gfor now

[quicksilverXP]

You know I'm not even close to moving on when I can't even think of any... haha man.

[matador1972]

You know I'm not even close to moving on when I can't even think of any... haha man.

 

Well im sort of struggling, at teh same time im writing these im thinking that she's an amazing woman, but when i read the list she dosent sound so hot eh.

 

Im sure you can come up with some

 

Thought of another - she's kept me hanging on a string for more than 2 months and wont rule out a reconciliation at some point which stops me from moving on without making the decision myself to do so.

[90_hour_sleep]

You know I'm not even close to moving on when I can't even think of any... haha man.

 

you're closer than ever. hostility and anger don't allow you to let go. they keep you hostile and angry. that's the first step. let the old tired story of blame go. it only reaffirms your own negativity...and keeps you stuck...rooted in those feelings.

 

letting go is a natural part of life. if you're still negative...you're fooling yourself into believing you've actually let go.

[WomanWriter]

He thought all pandas should be killed because they "serve no purpose."

Also, thought that Machiveli's The Prince was a good example of what constitutes the ideal leader (scary, huh?). Why I thought this guy shared the same morals as I, I have no idea. Pure lust I guess.

[donpeel83]

She has a hairy face.QUOTE]

 

Hahaha - sorry but that made me really chuckle

 

Ingenious!!

[kerri_nicole]

This is a great thread. Here are a few of mine although I could fill a couple of pages!

 

1. he is selfich

2. He was never there for me

3. He is/was never there for his children

4. He is abusive

5. He is racist

6. He hates and slags everyone that has something he does not

7. He is not emotional

8. He is a liar

9. He never treated me as I should be treated

10. He never kept any promises to us

11. he is spoilt

12. He is a pig

And the list goes on...

[journeynow]

letting go is a natural part of life. if you're still negative...you're fooling yourself into believing you've actually let go.

 

I agree. Anger and accepting their negative qualities are possibly stages that move us up the ladder of healing, as it shifts us from self-blame and despair. However, attaching negative labels to them keeps them connected in a subtle and negative way, or at least keeps us connected to those negative qualities. I find it helps to reframe the quality as a positive about myself, such as "I enjoy and welcome generosity."

[mrvaughn]

That feeling of awkwardness before she left work (I sensed that it wasn't right).

That thought I had back at the start: "Do I really want her?"

The fact she lied all the time.. compulsively!

The fact she lied about having a kid & rape!!!

The way she made me feel when I wanted to talk.

The way she made me feel by ignoring my requests to do lunch.

The fact she was obviously keeping me on the 'back-burner'.

The fact she never cared about my feelings.

The fact she turned my heartfelt e-mails into arguments.

The fact that she made out that I was in the wrong

The fact she told me I had only myself to blame.

The fact she let it go on for four long months!

The fact she made my life a nightmare & didn't care.

The fact she never admitted any wrong doing.

The fact that she manipulated me over and again.

The fact she indirectly threatened me...after manipulating me to think i'd hurt her.

The fact she made out to co-workers that I was pursuing her & that she had shown no interest in me

The fact she said to a co-worker "Steve wants to go out with me...what does he think i'm gonna do, just leave my boyfriend of 6 years?"

The fact she told me to "Go home and cry"

The fact she told another co-worker "I blocked his calls" then told me "no I just changed my phone that's all"

^ The fact she implied that I was stalking her.

The fact she said her sis didn't know about us, but then I saw her sis and a friend laughing at me.

The fact she laughed when a friend accused her of keeping me on the 'back-burner'.

Same friend said "Think u just wanted one bf at home and another at work." She said "Yeah, maybe you are right".

The fact her family have (and I quote) a "criminal element".

The fact her male friends are rough & dangerous.

The fact I was told that there are some stories about her I have yet to hear.

The fact that the one time I stood my ground (after a good few weeks) and said "You have to let me know how long I have to wait. You know i'm right". She said "Your not right, I AM AND I ALWAYS AM"

The fact she told me her imaginary kid broke his arm to stall for time.

The fact she manipulated me into thinking she was asking me to move away with her.

The fact she said she was moving house with her bf (but that he had his name on the housing list for his own place)

The fact she was obviously keeping me on the back-burner in case the bf did move out.

The fact that regardless of the above, that she was willing to have someone waiting behind the bf's back.

The fact she told me "Be patient for me to do things my way" but not to talk about it.....Hate her for not just saying she wasn't interested....

The fact she said she had made up with her friend. The friend had been in a relationship with the guy that 'raped her' but had split up. She said she helped her find a house. When I questioned where, she changed the location & I called her on it...I could tell she was lying (obviously, as she was never raped)

 

But to me:

 

The fact I would have split up with her by now.

The fact I prob wouldn't have started anything with her when she came clean about lying so much & lying about having a kid.

The fact I trusted her....Why oh Why when I was warned did I trust her?

 

But:

 

She was keeping me on the backburner anyway...I see that clearly now. I had a lucky escape after seeing the 'real' her.