10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY- 2 1/2 YEARS SEPERATED

[trulyDee]

Ok, I am 37, been separated for 2 1/2 years now from my husband and this friday is our 10th year anniversary.

 

He lives in another state, and is coming home to visit this weekend.

 

To celebrate or to ask for a divorce???

 

I love him with all my heart, but it's been too long. I want him to move back home, and he won't. His job is going well, as is mine. Seems like we were meant to split up, although there is no hard feelings, no anger, no fighting....never was.

I don't want a divorce, that would mean I am alone, and a nobody. I'm not sure if he wants one or not. We don't communicate.

 

My life is a constant limbo.

 

I am financially supporting myself, as well as just bought the home we lived in (all by myself) But I feel tied to him always....

 

 

WHAT do I do??!!

[maasikus]

Hey there

 

 

First of all, take it easy Wait till Friday to see y he is visitin u after 2 1/2 years of seperation...

 

As of the divorce part, any relationship(including marriage) is meaningful only if the two involved have feelings for each other, know how to care and share...There might be occasional pitfalls, but nothin lasts for 2.5 years!!!

 

Either start fresh with ur 10th anniversary or let go...and start a new life sans ur husband...afterall life is short and its nice to love and be loved!

 

maasikus

[Ash]

In your mind, is there a substantial difference in the feelings involved with divorce as opposed to separation? In both cases, you tend to live your own lives anyway.

 

The big thing in my head is that you can't get remarried until you are first divorced. From an emotional viewpoint, I don't see much of a difference. But that's just me.

 

I would think that unless you wither want to remarry, or he does, perhaps there is no real need for a divorce yet. It never hurts to leave the door open just a crack, does it?

 

A divorce makes things final for you I suspect. Are you ready for that? Truly ready? 2/5 years is a fair length of time some some things, but in the case of marriage relations, it's not a huge amount of time. Perhaps you're just not ready yet.

 

I'm sorry I've not been much help, but I suppose I'm just trying to point it the situation from perhaps different angles that you have.

 

The mere fact he is visiting coincident with your 10th anniversary is worth noting. At least wait to see what he has to say, of anything. Then decide. You don't hove to decide before you see him. But I would advise you mentally prepare yourself for various scenarios that could take place.

 

I hope you can figure out what is right for you.