gidget1 Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I broke up with my SO of four years a little over a week ago, and I know he's been through a lot of emotional rollercoasters his entire life... Basically he doesn't see the "point", moreso, he is lacking a point... I thought it would be good to get him into existentialism, something I used to be very interested in, and could talk to him about for hours, but I thought maybe it would be a good idea to give him a book to read on the basic theories and ideas behind it? Just for something new to think about... Is that a bad idea for someone who is depressed? I got into it years back when I was pretty depressed myself and it gave me such a new outlook (which I really enjoyed) but it could have a negative affect on him, what if he loses the plot/point of living entirely? Your thoughts? Link to comment
coldplay. Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 It depends on how he internalizes it... Some of the writers of that great field were deeply depressed, i suppose most authors were/are. But they were well known for it. He either uses it as a platform to better himself, which i believe i have, or he gets into some SERIOUS existential angst. I dont know him, so i guess its a question ull have to answer. ID recommend some Camus or Kafka to start out but thats just me. Link to comment
gidget1 Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 It depends on how he internalizes it... Some of the writers of that great field were deeply depressed, i suppose most authors were/are. But they were well known for it. He either uses it as a platform to better himself, which i believe i have, or he gets into some SERIOUS existential angst. I dont know him, so i guess its a question ull have to answer. ID recommend some Camus or Kafka to start out but thats just me. See that was my main question... Will it make him feel even more pointless, or will he see it as a way to "start fresh" and become motivated to create a purpose for himself? (like it did for me in highschool). I know him well, but I just don't know what it will do for him. He is very open and accepting to new ideas and trains of thought, and he can be an overall optimistic person... I think I will give it a try, at least to get him thinking again! Link to comment
Ivory_Tower Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Oh dear, please don't do that! Existentialism is very heavy philosophy and not exactly uplifting. Even if he is a man of logic no one going through a tough time is going to come out happy in the end by reading that sort of thing. Back when I was a freshman in college I was introduced to Existentialism my very first semester. Needless to say I was depressed for the remainder of it. I have also had to counter any existential ideas I've entertained in the past because they were helping to make much of my thoughts about life negative. Link to comment
JonasWaingaro Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Existentialism is about life and living. It's not depressing at all. (my college major) I'd get him 'Also Sprach Zarathustra', it's poetic. Or your basic intro would be cool. Link to comment
gidget1 Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 I was thinking a basic intro and then if he enjoys it, or at least can take ONE THOUGHT or idea from it, then introduce him to all of my favourite philosophers and theories... It didn't depress me, and I can often be very weak minded, and often suffer bouts of depression... To me it isn't necessarily "uplifting" but thinking "outside" and learning a new point of view always makes me feel good... I personally believe he will enjoy it, but knowing him as not a big reader, he will probably read it over an extended period of time, thus not taking it in entirely. Thank you for the responses Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 personally, it seems too soon for a gesture like that. and, besides the 'EX' implications, it's almost impossible to know how someone is going to respond. for someone who is depressed, it can often feel as if you're pushing something on to them. they feel as if your gesture of good faith is really more of an attack. that being said, if you're still on good terms, and you know that he's actively pursuing similar avenues, it may be something that will help him. be careful. if you're doing this for YOU...as a means to somehow get into his life at the moment, that could seriously backfire. people can see right through that. be very honest with your intentions. if your ONLY interest is in helping him through a difficult period, perhaps you could ask how he'd feel? you may be able to share a little bit of the experience you've had...and leave the door open for him to pursue it if he chooses. it's very important that he doesn't feel threatened...like you're invading him somehow. i know it's difficult, but sometimes it's better to let someone figure these things out on their own. his perspective will be very different than yours...so how he reacts will be very difficult to predict. be inviting...not suggestive. cheers Link to comment
veneratio Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I don't think it's a good idea for someone who is depressed. They may or may not put the ideas to good use. Personally, I wouldn't go through with it. Nietzsche depressed the hell out of me. Link to comment
Ivory_Tower Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I don't think it's a good idea for someone who is depressed. They may or may not put the ideas to good use. Personally, I wouldn't go through with it. Nietzsche depressed the hell out of me. I agree 110%. Link to comment
waveseer Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I like paintings and drawings from depressed artists, but not books from depressed writers. The subject of either doesn't change my opinion. Link to comment
DaBladeRoden Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Yeah, best not to give a depressed a person a reminder about how all life is pointless. Link to comment
gidget1 Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 When I studied it, the idea I took from it was that the "rules" we know and are brought up to believe may as well be fabricated, that there aren't any preordained plans for us, and that we must create our own to achieve happiness AS OPPOSED TO "life has no meaning or point" maybe it was just the way I was taught? or that i am an optimist? Link to comment
spinstermanquee Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Do you want to get back with him? Link to comment
gidget1 Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 Do you want to get back with him? Haha no I broke up with him a week ago, it was time... We're not on bad terms.. I'm definitely not going back there, just want him to see things in a different light? How bout I take the "ex" thing out of the equation? Are the responses I get any different? Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 funny. i've been thinking of doing the same thing. i think nietzche is really optimistic?? haha, i'm surprised at this thread. i've been thinking of giving my ex something too. he's going down such a bad road. but friends said i should just leave him be and let him come to me. you can't just force people to take your help.. they have to want it themselves. Link to comment
veneratio Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 funny. i've been thinking of doing the same thing. i think nietzche is really optimistic?? haha, i'm surprised at this thread. i've been thinking of giving my ex something too. he's going down such a bad road. but friends said i should just leave him be and let him come to me. you can't just force people to take your help.. they have to want it themselves. Couldn't agree more with the bold. Link to comment
Botched Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 Personally I agree with Jonas... The version I read was "Thus Spake Zarathustra." I have better and worse translations though. My favorite is The Night Song. Link to comment
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