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Approaching strangers


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What do you think about approaching girls you don't know at random places? I've only done this once and it was a few months ago when I was still living with my ex and the crap she was pulling fueled the fire and I was able to with ease go up and talk to a VERY attractive girl at borders and get her number.

 

Lately though I have slumped back into my reclusive state and I am worried about approaching girls again. I'm not sure what I will say, where I will go, etc. I really think I need to get out and date again otherwise I will go nuts. Even though I am still upset about my ex.

 

So what is the best way if you don't really know alot of people and you don't want to meet online? What do you say to a girl at say the grocery store, bookstore, etc?

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Make sure, or atleast try and gauge if they are there to also be 'meeting people'

 

I have had more than my share of guys trying to make conversation, or follow me around the grocery store, not to mention bookstores. Makes me never want to go solo.

 

I think thats all I can offer.

If they give off a vibe that they are trying to meet people as well, then good..great.

But really..when I'm frantically searching the produce for green onions, please don't stop and say "So, is organic really that much better.."

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I tend to just wing it, though lean towards gentle teasing and humor. Poking fun at the book they're reading / buying or something they've got from the store.

 

It won't work every time, expect to get shot down 50/50. Dealing with the rejection at this point can be hard, but keep it up. You'll eventually learn not to care about it.

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I like to keep things simple, say hello or just make an observation about what is going on around you. Look for the girl to make eye contact and if she does take a quick look at her body language to determine if she is going to accept being approached or if she is going to be stand-offish.

 

Take this time to learn about approaching women, and reading their body language, also work on your conversation skills which are natural to your own personality.

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Make sure, or atleast try and gauge if they are there to also be 'meeting people'

 

Cold approaching typically requires a hell of a lot of luck, of the "the stars and planets align" type. And usually most people who are somewhere don't seem to have any interest in meeting or even looking at anyone ... unless you're very good looking.

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Cold approaching typically requires a hell of a lot of luck, of the "the stars and planets align" type. And usually most people who are somewhere don't seem to have any interest in meeting or even looking at anyone ... unless you're very good looking.

Right. As established in other threads, if she finds you attractive, she'll likely be receptive and welcoming of conversation (bearing in mind her mood). If she doesn't find you attractive, you're approach will likely be seen as creepy and offputting.

 

How do you know which is the case before you approach? You don't, really, though you can presumably get a pretty good idea of your odds based on past experience.

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This is a really good question. I'm wondering the same thing, but from the opposite perspective -- how do men feel when being approached like this by women?

 

As far as how I feel about being approached.... it's generally fine. The only times I don't like being approached are when I'm in a hurry--but you can usually tell that by watching me for a minute.

 

For me personally, I think the book store or grocery store would definitely be the best place to approach me. Make a comment about what I'm buying... if I'm in the grocery store, ask me if I cook much. If I'm in the book store, ask about what I like to read and if I'm a student. Just be willing to accept being rejected and you should be fine.

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you can presumably get a pretty good idea of your odds based on past experience.

 

 

I've actually only done it once and I did it with the intention of just talking to her (and she was very very attractive). She ended up giving me her number without me asking. And as soon as I got on facebook she sent me a request and started IMing me...so I guess this means I could probably have luck again?

 

Honestly I was surprised how well it went and how easy it was. Like I said though, I wasn't nervous at all because I was on the rebound and just fed up with my ex for rubbing it in my face while she lives with me that she was going to see someone else!

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