Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[lostnscared]

I reread the letter I wrote you. And it wasn't bad at all. I really miss you. And I know its me being stubborn and afraid that is causing me not to call you. Nonetheless the ball is in your court.... I know I elongated this break but if u want me back you'll do what's necessary to get me just don't wait too long.

[Wildflower88]

I'm missing you less. My feelings are fading. Our story is becoming vaguer. My dignity and self are resurfacing.

With all of my progress, I'm beginning to wonder...was it real? Did I exaggerate my need for you to be with me?

All I have left to do is forgive you and myself so I can be 100% set free.

 

I hope that you can forgive yourself and this person.. because this will free you like you would not believe.. good luck with this and Im happy to you are starting to be your old self again even if I never knew the old you!

[jimmajam]

As much as I have grown and changed over the last year, for some reason I still want you to know that I care about you and even love you deep down. I guess it's because I have grown and changed my views on what a relationships should be. Some of the things I did to help cause the breakup, I can't believe I did and would never do again. A year is a long time to be shook up over a breakup, and those times teach people lessons. I have learned mine and have changed myself for what I feel is the better. The good times we had were amazing, if we tried again I know we'd have way more of those times.

 

You said we should keep in contact from time to time. I tried to do so, but the last time we made contact it was me emailing you, I replied to your response and that was the end of it. It has now been months and you haven't even uttered a hello. It does hurt, but not like it used to hurt. It's not so much rejection now, it's just pain that you let something so great go without at least looking back and giving it another try.

 

I am struggling if I should send you an email to say hello, ask how you are doing, because I really do care. If things came about the right way I would consider getting back together if we both worked for it. However, right now it's not even about getting back together. I miss talking to you, it hurts that you have moved on so seamlessly, I want you in my life even if it is talking and catching up from time to time.

 

I truly fear that the way you deal with emotions, pushing them down and trying to think ONLY logically, will hinder us ever speaking again. I would never tell you how you are or what you think, but i know you so well and know that's how you handle things. Even if you were curious about what I was up to you would force yourself to forget. I pray that some day, even when we are both 110% healed you will allow yourself at least to say hello. I will be there to talk and I would love to catch up even if that's as far as you want to go.

[Wildflower88]

I wish I could be just like you right now.. and also learn to avoid facebook, it is really ruining my life!

[WomanWriter]

This is how I feel about Lee too. Except he left me. But I was partially to blame and I understand it better now. I will always love him. I don't regret him.

[HPZOOM]

I think I am going crazy. One part of me hates you. The selfishness and your attitude of whatever. The days where you don't even try.

 

The other part, misses you. Kissing your forehead, and talking in bed together. Your touch on the back of my head when I am driving. 3 kisses every time we see each other. I just want 1 wish. I wish you were still here. The past 2 days, I relapsed into your heart, and mind. And I work, with a sad spirit.

 

It's tough. And it hurts, in ways that I could never thought I would feel. I wish you could hear me call your name in my heart. But there is no answer. And it hurts more.

[lostnscared]

This is how I feel about Lee too. Except he left me. But I was partially to blame and I understand it better now. I will always love him. I don't regret him.

 

OMIGOSH that is my ex's (or whatever we are considering we're on a brake) name, his name is Lee. Well that is his nickname.

[HPZOOM]

Just let her go now, believe me I'm trying man I just don't know how.

[HPZOOM]

Wow. You posted pics of the tournament on Facebook. And you have pics, with your new man. You never did that with me. 4 years. Not a single pic together you posted. I don't know if you did this intentionally, or you just don't care to hurt me.

 

But it's working. It hurts.

 

You still look beautiful. What am I gonna do.

[biggestdork]

Oh how much Ive grown since....

I dont know if Im liking it, but I certainly cant change what happened in the past.

 

Miss you, M.

 

You b*tch.

[elle83]

i am starting to let you go...

[HPZOOM]

Is it wrong for me to feel this way, you been running though my mind all day.

I've been trying to get you off my mind, but I can't after all this time

And that's what kills me.

[HPZOOM]

It's too major, don't see you in my pager, no "What you doing?, Where you at?, Can I see you later?"

 

 

The fellas telling me, just let her go now, believe me I'm TRYING man I just don't know how.

[shellov]

At the moment, I don't know what else to say. But I wish that you are willing to meet me half way. =(

[completebroken]

I can't believe you haven't written. You just excised me from your life to follow someone new. Someone with whom you put your reputation and career, the things you told me I had to make sacrifices for, in jeopardy. I am actually reaching the anger stage of this (I think I went through despondency first) and the ridiculousness and pettiness and plain stupidity is starting to hit me.

 

I still love you, and I know the anger has to come so I am not sending any of this to you, but I wish you knew how much hurt you caused with your words and actions. I still wish we were together everyday, but I need to heal before that is possible and I don't know if/when that day will come. It will be a long, long time. I will miss you but you are not going to be a part of my life and that isn't my fault.

[HPZOOM]

I heard the song by Donna Lewis "Always forever" on a tv show. Remember at Albertson's, we just started dancing together in the aisle. Good memories. It makes me smile.

 

It's like time stood still, and we were just happy that moment. We never heard it before, but when we did. We both just knew. And later that night we stayed up till 2am, looking for the singer, because we had no idea who it was!!!!!

 

It brought tears to my eyes, but happy ones. That is the first happy tears, since we split. I hope more are to come.

 

It's just unexplainable, how I am smiling as I type this, and remembering how much fun that 3 minutes were.

[bart]

Had a dream that I broke NC. That will never, ever happen in reality. Thank God it was just a dream...or should I say, nightmare?

[insecurefool]

It's easy to stay motivated with all I do when I think about how you doubted me. I'm still that go getter you met 5 years ago.

[biggestdork]

M, I miss you.

I dont know how many times I find myself thinking about you.

I wanna stop but I cant. I want you back, M. I had an amazing time with you, and I dont know what went wrong. Its been so long since we last spoke, and sometimes I wonder if you still think about me. I know you wont forget about me, but what part of me will you remember? I wish you'll remember the good things about me. About us.

 

Its been a while since we broke up, yet I still cant get over about you. I know about your new boyfriend. I know who he is, and I know you left me for him, and for that I feel so betrayed. You lied to me, M. I still cant believe you would do such a thing to me. I trusted you, yet used me and dumped me like another piece of trash. I was good to you, M. Wasnt I? I know things got a bit rough, and you were scared. But was it really that bad? Was it so bad that you wouldnt even bother to work it out?

 

I know Im not the best guy in the world, but I would have done my best to make you happy, M. Because the truth is: You made me happy. You really did. When you started approaching me, I was well aware of the situation, but I thought you really want this. But I was wrong. Why was I so blind? Why did I even bother letting you in my life. I was strong. I was confident. I was fearless. Yet I let you soften me. Weaken me.

Hurt me.

 

Damnit, M.

 

Why cant I hate you?

 

Even after all the things you've done to me, why cant I forget your beautiful smile? Why cant I forget the first time we kissed? Why do I remember all the times we spent together like they happened yesterday? Why do I still cherish all those moments we had together.

 

Its gotten to the point where I know I can never go back to you ever again. You've changed so much, M. I dont even know you anymore. You were never like this. The M I know will never hurt anyone, let alone hurting me. We cant be together anymore. You ruined it, M. - Our friendship, our relationship: Everything.

 

But why do I still miss you so much. Why do I still want you back in my arms. Why do I get jealous when I see you with other guys knowing fully well who you really are.

 

Why?

[HPZOOM]

Heard "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day. Didn't feel anything. But the words seem so true now, I guess I do walk alone. So be it.

 

We should have heard "21 guns" when we were still together. Maybe some common sense might have kicked in, for the both of us.

[dyla11]

don't break NC! it not worth it..

 

it almost a month since he slept with that girl. and 3 weeks since i left the house. it's not easy because he made like i want the break up.like i want it to be this way. hell. u are not human. u are devil with human skin. why do i love you before?

 

i maintain NC for almost a week. well, i think i can maintain it forever because i don't have your new number. maybe because u don't have hp. (it broke in one of our many argument). i have no reason to be with u again because of what u did. yes, we do have a lot of argument (the reason we had it because i find out u sleep with her!) before cruelly u bring her into our house, (our house!) while i stay at my friend to clear out my mind. before i left, u come with your brother n introduced her as your brother's girlfriend. then, the next day (i said for 2 days, but i decide to forgive u BECAUSE U SAID SHE WAS YOUR MISTAKE and coming back the next day), 02 July 2010..I'm coming back and find them...it hurt to re-picture that day. really hurt...i cried. tried everything to get u back, and she just sat at corner of our house, smiling...i even tried to kill myself. suicide. but out of nowhere.. someone save me. he take me to his house. introduce to his kids and wife..thanks god, I'm still alive... stay at them for almost a week. before i decide it's over. he didn't even try to find me.

 

i do feel OK without him. but then after a week,suddenly he call.via public phone. he torturing with my heart, i know it. but i don't want to accept it..he still calling me 'my love'. still miss me.. still said what i want to hear. since then. i keep waiting for his call. waiting. and waiting. until yesterday. i call his friend. to find out what happen...stupid me.. they now officially dating. to add the pain,everybody know they live together at that house..i already saw her in the house, what do i expect? I'm in pain again. feel like 02 July happen again. i have to start again. i hate to feel hurt like this.

 

i have to start NC again. this time i change my number.

NC: DAY 1

[WomanWriter]

How can some people just shut off their feelings like you do? Sometimes I envy that. It's just so strange how you were so obsessive and built your life around getting me to marry you, then suddenly when I go on a church retreat, you drop me like we've never met! How is that possible? You must be really psycho in order to dissociate yourself that much! Why did you have to prey on me, a neurotic woman? Neurotics and Psychotics are a horrible match. The neurotic worries constantly and associates everything with everythng whereas the psychotic is so out of touch with their feelings that they practically live in another world. Why did I choose you to get involved with? This just makes me appreciate L so much more than you. The way he cried and missed me for so long was a testament to his true feelings for me. But the way you already were with someone else BEFORE we broke up is just proof of the fact that you are just desperate for anyone. I was right when I said you just wanted attention at any cost. You were willing to hurt me if it meant getting what you wanted from another woman. Who am I to stand in the way, you thought. Even though you wanted to marry me! What if I had another man on the side while I was telling you I wanted to marry you? You would think I was the worst person ever.

 

What's funny is that before we started dating, we asked each other what our biggest turn offs were. You said double standards. LOL. How ironic. You are the biggest hypocrite ever. I gave and gave to you and you're a user and a liar. You said you hated fake people. I guess you hate yourself then because you are the biggest fake I have ever met. You got made when I called you fake, but what else is it when you wax poetic and lovey dovey, then turn and nail someone else? You are the phoniest thing since spam, Brian. Oh, I'm just having fun insulting you cuz you won't ever know. But you really are a cruddy person.

 

I could get more serious, but I don't feel like it now. I will be leaving for therapy soon and I'm messy and messed up. This couldn't be a better day for therapy because I just feel like life stinks, not thanks to you--but you played a big role in increasing that dissastifaction. You should never have put down my ex fiance. He was 1000 times more of a man than you'll ever be. Whatever his issues, you are a million times worse. At least he has a conscience. You have a void for a soul.

[mels1217]

today, i miss you. im not angry at this moment. i just miss you and im sad. sad... doesn't even describe it. i didn't know pain like this existed. i didnt know pain like this could be caused from YOU. you were the one person, for over 3 years, who made me feel like... the worst things in life could happen, but overall, it didn't matter-- b/c we had each other. and that is so corny to type now, now that i feel like our love was a sham- whether u think so or not- i do- b/c you walked out.

 

today i took a test, and i think i did bad. my first instinct was to call you. and then i realized, i couldn't. i know it's only been about 6 weeks... but the pain is still as strong as ever. i keep thinking, ill wake up, and ill feel just a LITTLE BIT different... but i don't. i obsess over you all day, every day-- even in my dreams. and i hate it. and sometimes, i hate you. and i never wanted to hate you. never. you were my protector. and now, a part of me sees you as the bad guy. and it breaks my heart every day.

 

even if u were to come to me tomorrow & say u made a mistake-- how do i know that u wont leave again? how will i live my life, knowing that u could walk out again, without any warning? how can i live knowing that i took back a man who had a cold enough heart to dump via email after planning on marrying me, looking at apartments together, and even picking a name out for our future child? how can i live in fea forever? i would constantly be thinking, every time you were quiet, every time we had a fight, every time you didn't want to do anything "physical," that, "OH MY GOD. I BET HE IS GONNA LEAVE ME AGAIN!" i don't want to live like that. you poured poison over everything that was beautiful. as much as i miss you, how could i live like that? i would always feel like i was your second choice.

 

I WANT YOU. but i also want a man that would never leave me, never ask for even a break, for FEAR of losing such a great thing. and you're not that man. and i thought u were. and i cant get past that.

 

every thing reminds me of you... i want it to go away. everything. and it's breaking me down & im losing my focus. and i need my focus for school.

 

what are you doing right now? how can you not be thinking about me every minute, of every day, like i am? you say it's because you "want this." but still... i just don't see how... weren't we in the same relationship?

 

i miss luci. i miss your sweatshirt. i miss my ring. i miss how special you made me feel... i miss your hugs. i miss your kisses. i miss your laugh. i miss your family. i miss you holding my hand. i miss cuddling. i miss everything. i miss everything about you.

 

i always thought you were crazy about me... and it turns out, the last couple of months... you weren't. there's not a day that went by in the span of our 3+year relationship where i didn't think "wow... i am so in love. i am still so in love, after all this time. i am SO lucky!" and to know, when i was having those thoughts, that u were having doubts... god, it hurts. it hurts to the point that it's just... *loss of words* pointless to even try to describe. because i can't. because nothing does this pain justice. nothing.

 

i wonder if throughout the day you laugh. and i wonder what you're laughing about. and part of me doesnt want u to laugh. i dont want u to be happy without me. you say if we never get back together, i will find someone & you will find someone. how can you say that? we're supposed to be together. me & you. not anyone else. no one gets you like i do. no one gets me, like you do. how can i give up hope, in order to move on, if i firmly believe in my heart, we're meant to be together? you're not perfect. im not perfect. but we're perfect for each other. or... we were. before you had this mini-crisis attack.

 

my dad says that he doesnt know how i can physically shed anymore tears on you. after all you've put me through these past 6 weeks. and i dont know how i can either. how can a person cry this much over a person that told them, "i have no desire to be with you right now.... i am not sitting here contemplating 'us' & i don't want you to think i am." how can a person be so foolish to sit & cry & obsess & pine over another who is so cruel that he 1) wasn't honest with himself, and thus, drug me along for months 2) broke up with me in an email 3) broke all his promises to me 4) said he doesn't want to try to fix it 5) implied that he doesn't know why im taking this so hard 5) told me sometimes he thought of me as just a friend 6) told me that there was less of a physical desire for me 7) told me maybe he really wasn't all that happy sometimes, etc.. I READ ALL OF THIS & IT'S CLEAR TO ME U HAVE CHANGED... U DON'T LOVE ME!!!! BUT HOW COULD THAT BE!!?! YOU WERE CRAZY ABOUT ME!!! I KEEP TELLING MYSELF UR GOING THROUGH A BREAK DOWN OR SOMETHING... B/C I DON'T BELIEVE ANY OF THESE FEELINGS YOURE HAVING ARE REAL. I THINK THEY'RE BECAUSE OF YOUR MEDICATION.

 

i deserve a man that is crazy about me. but if you were crazy about me for so long, and it just died... maybe no man is capable of being crazy in love with me?

 

i always thought u were too good to be true. i guess i was right.

 

this is embarrassing to admit, but im afraid ill never find another man like you... someone who i just click with.... and someone as handsome as you. i am so incredibly attracted to you... and it kills me that you aren't to me. ive always felt ugly... and now, i feel hideous. i met you when i was younger, thin, prettier... now, i don't know who is gonna want me.

 

...yeah, i know im having a "pity party," i know no one can love me until i love myself & all that crap... but the bottom line is, that's how i really feel.

 

i need to study.. 4 more exams this week. and im doing terribly in school because all i can think about is YOU. why is that? how come u get to sit around on ur butt, not giving two s**** about me, but im obsessing over you-- when i have work to do!

 

you may find a hotter girl than me. but ur never gonna find what we had... that connection. it's 1 in a million. but it's like ive said before, you're driving down the highway with your eyes closed, and i cant stop you. i tried. and u told me to give up. so i am.

 

i am giving up on us. i dont want to ...but u told me to.

 

wanna know a secret? sometimes, even though i know right now it's all out of spite, because ur still the only man i want, sometimes i hope for the day that will come where i am with a man who i click with even more than you (even though i think that's impossible), and that this man is even hotter than you (even though i think that's also impossible... i think you are the sexiest man alive)--but i pretend anyways that there is a man like that, & we will be together & u will come to me in tears, regretting this. you know what else? as i play that scenario out in my head, i wonder how i could still ever turn u down

 

maybe that's why you're taking your sweet time to decide if we will ever have a future together... because u know id just come crawling back to you... god... i feel sick.

 

it's ironic, b/c throughout all this pain i just want to call the 1 person who has always made my pain go away-- YOU. but i can't call you. so here i am, sitting here... typing on an internet forum.

 

i guess i will try and go study... it's late. im tired. i wish we were in our apartment... the one we planned on getting. i wish we were snuggling and kissing. if i could have all the money in the world, or that, i have no doubt in my mind what i would pick (and i really mean ALL the money in the world). i guess the sad reality is, which is maybe something i should remind myself about daily, is that... you would chose the money. i always thought id be your choice over anything...

 

i miss you. i miss you terribly. goodnight.

[lostnscared]

We aren't back together are we?

[DeenasRhino]

Happy 2 year!