completebroken

Yesterday I wanted to call you because of how hurt I was. Today, it is because of all the great things that happened. I think we can make this work, but the ball is in your court. If there is a sixth sense I hope you get this and think of me. Think long and hard and realize we can make this work.

Do you remember we had plans today? It was important to me. I wanted to make it very special for you. I miss you. I still love you. This hurts.

Can't sleep. I was moving pictures to a folder so I wouldn't come accross them and I found the one of us the last day I saw you. The day you said you loved me more than ever. And the look you are giving me in that picture says you meant it. Then a month later you say it over, that you are interested in someone else and that just five weeks before we are to see each other again that we wil never see each other again. I cannot understand this. I try but I can't. I want to write for answers but I know it won't help either of us. Why? Why? Why?

Almost two weeks NC. I miss you everyday. I cry everyday. I am crying now. I miss you and I think you made a mistake but I am sticking with NC. If you realize it we will cross that bridge but if not then our time together was wonderful. I still love you.

I can't believe you haven't written. You just excised me from your life to follow someone new. Someone with whom you put your reputation and career, the things you told me I had to make sacrifices for, in jeopardy. I am actually reaching the anger stage of this (I think I went through despondency first) and the ridiculousness and pettiness and plain stupidity is starting to hit me. I still love you, and I know the anger has to come so I am not sending any of this to you, but I wish you knew how much hurt you caused with your words and actions. I still wish we were together everyday, but I need to heal before that is possible and I don't know if/when that day will come. It will be a long, long time. I will miss you but you are not going to be a part of my life and that isn't my fault.

I just got a raise and accepted into a prestigious writing program. The first thing I wanted to do was to tell you. You were not only my lover and the love of my life, you were my best friend. I have no idea why you left for someone else but it is all coming together just after you did.

I miss you so much right now. I wonder everyday what happened and why. I love you. I miss you.

Why did you share so many details of post breakup plans with me. Now I picture you out having fun while I sit and suffer

I am sorry I emailed you so much the last few days. I should have emailed someone else. I am sorry if I hurt you with all the emails because I know you need to move on and heal as well.