Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[NCForeverGirl]

I just came accross some pictures of us when browsing through the files on my laptop. You don't look attractive at all.

[lalalollipops]

I didn't think of you AS much today. You used to be the only thing that stayed on my mind all day everyday.

Today, I thought about other things too, so I guess I'm making some progress?

Hope you're doing well. I miss you still.

[loseteach]

So I failed the NC and email you yesterday. As usually, you did not reply. Each time sending you an email just make me feel worse because of your ignoring. I will have to try harder this time, NC for at least one month. Recently I have become too soft, I think I can become an actor. Whenever I want to cry, I just have to think about you. That is super surprising, because before you left me, I have never cried.

Anyway, take care ex. I won't disturb you in at least one month.

[zep]

I hope you learn from this, and that you start seeing a decent therapist and being honest with them and really working on your issues. I know your family f-ed you up, or maybe you just inherited their f-ed up genes. I don't know. I'd like to think that somehow you'll learn how to love and be loved, instead of just taking and hurting, but I don't really believe thats possible for you. I think you'll just be miserable forever, and emotionally abuse and betray anyone who loves you. I feel bad for you, but I really feel bad for your future wife and children. I did everything I could to try to fix you and help you and I couldn't. I don't feel bad about that anymore.

[lalalollipops]

I miss you, I wish the stupid yearning would just stop already.

I miss everything, but all I'm now left with is nothing, so I need to start getting used to it somehow.

Xx

[lalalollipops]

I just really fell for you.

In the end the jokes on me!

[Stevo83]

Today is when I let go. I'm tired of hoping, hurting. I should have never let you back in my life. You are the one I have loved most but the very thing that is destroying me. This has been the hardest struggle I have ever dealt with. Trying to change everything about me that related me to you. Meeting, dating new girls. Not exactly giving my undivided attention because the thought of you was still present in my mind. Yes at the moment I thought I was fine. Then I assumed you had already met someone during that time. I was so close to letting go. And yet you entered into the picture again. *Trying not to let you get to me I pretended i didn't care. Weeks go by and you told me you missed me. I could no longer keep my feelings aside. I too missed you. Later on we have lunch. First time not so bad. Making small chat and catching up a little. Second time you tell me you were intimate with someone new. It wasn't even that long after we split. I felt disgusted going back to your apartment with you. Knowing you were willing to move on. And yet I still came in to sit down with you. Only because I love you. After some drinks we had sex that's what you called it. It was no longer making love. I had a hard time looking at the bed we bought knowing he was lying right where I was. Seeing his name on your mirror and an extra toothbrush in your bathroom. That spot used to be mine. Any memories that I had left behind before we said goodbye was not there anymore. They were gone, i was gone. Only to be replaced. Whatever I was capable of giving or sharing I no longer have the strength or faith to do so. It may not be intentional. I pray that it's not. But I can't be your support anymore. I will not sit here wanting something that you are not sure about. Why do I have to hurt while you make me think there is something left between us. Just because you feel comfortable around me does not make it alright to string me along until you find the next best thing. I don't want to be a back up...I tried to make you my number one. For some reason it wasn't good enough. Then the guy you date treats you bad and cheats on you in the very beginning and you're still in contact with him? I treated you better than that but I'm in the same category as him. I'm tired, I have nothing left to offer; to anybody...you have completely drained me of the person I used to be...now I see nothing is ever good enough. There aren't many happy endings. Not everyone wins.*

[stalumfi]

It only really hit me today and I cried - for me, for you, and for everyone involved in this mess. The events of last summer are beginning to make sense. Of course. It does make me think that you weren't messing with me after all. No wonder you felt resentment for me if this was a rebound and you acted recklessly because of it.

 

I don't know if I ever mentioned my father. He treated my mother like dirt for years after she finally threw him out (cheating, of course) and us, firstly as weapons against her, and then as toys for his amusement and to bolster his self-image. Need I say we don't have anything to do with him now? Not only because of his treatment of us, but because - there's nothing there where the soul should be. No humanity. Any of us could be one of his workmates and he'd treat us exactly the same, with some necessary adjustment.

 

Now, I don't compare you to him, but I did see some of that emptiness in you - some. I don't say that with rancour. You know how much you mean to me, and I'll always carry some of that with me. But please don't make what outwardly seems the most acceptable thing to do your priority. Those children should be the centre of your world, and whatever your relationship with their mothers, treat them with consideration. Don't make those closest to you feel the brunt of your issues. And if these aren't things that naturally occur to you, ask yourself why.

 

I hope you can build up your shattered sense of self, my dear, because you know that is your stumbling-block, not other people. There is nothing that is as hard to achieve, and as necessary, and as rewarding, as love for ourselves and love for others.

[ultimateguy8]

Tomorrow is your 22nd birthday. I remember a year ago today we went out to celebrate your birthday with all of your friends and it was a great night. I still remember it fondly. I'm still not 100% sure what I'm going to do about your birthday tomorrow. A part of me wants to call you and another part thinks it's best to not contact you at all, since you haven't contacted me since the break up. Plus you didn't even acknowledge my birthday and we've only been broken up for 1.5 months. None of your roommates or friends (besides one) did either which hurt. I'm sure most of my roommates and friends will still wish you one. They won't stoop to the level yours did, I'm sure of it. I still love you and throughout our year long relationship and the time we've been broken up, there hasn't been a day where you haven't crossed my mind. That should tell you something.

[bw92116]

You won't even answer my call. You won't even reply to my happy birthday text. Thanks a lot.

[Pengy]

I miss you. But not who you are now.. I miss the you I first met.

I really hope letting you go now means I'll get that guy back. I wonder how often you think about me, since I think about you every damn second of the day. I know you're depressed and don't 'feel' anything right now. Would you be upset if I found someone new? Will you try and get me back? Do you think about a future with me? It's so selfish but I HATE this stupid depression of yours. I hate that I fell more and more for you every day, and you became depressed. I know it's nothing I did. I know that. I just have so so much love to give you... I HATE your ex who made you put up all these walls. I HATE the walls. I refuse to put up walls even though I am heartbroken now. I don't want to end up cold and distant. I want to open my heart to love again. I want that with you in the future. GOD LET THIS DEPRESSION GO AWAY. I pray for you every night. I pray that I can be strong enough to let you go and get the help you need. But I also secretly pray you'll come back to me when this is all over.

 

I do want to thank you for not contacting me. It's helping me get a little bit stronger every day without you. We both need to get strong on our own. No crutches... no leaning... no depending.

[ghost1ee]

Today, I bumped to your old post cards and letters you sent me. I almost broke down again when I read the words "I love you so so so so so much" and it was dated November 24th of 2011. Just remembering that a year ago from now we were in love makes me ache inside my chest. I was about to send you a really long email just now, but I know you'll probably just get annoyed by that. I taped them up, I'm not going to get rid of them. I'll bring them with me wherever I go. I'm gonna keep them thinking you used to at least love me in the past.

 

Also, I noticed I have not opened the last letter you sent me. I saw a heart on the opening, and you instructed me to open it there. Maybe this letter was the reason you've been planning to break up. I really have a gut feeling it is. I won't open it now. I will open it when I finally got over you and in the really far future from now.

[Pengy]

I was just thinking this same thing earlier (bolded)

I was thinking how happy we were six months ago.. When I think back to how different things were, what he would say to me and make me feel so giddy...The sweet gestures and the constant texts all day just because we couldn't stop thinking about eachother... we couldn't keep our hands off eachother... It actually makes me sick to my stomach. What I'd give to get that all back

[lalalollipops]

Keeping stuff like this only hinders your healing imo.

It doesn't matter what she wrote or how absolutely poignant and expressive it was; in the end she cheated and left you for somebody else. That cancels out everything. The 'I love yous' has therefore been rendered void.

I say get rid of the letters.

[ghost1ee]

I won't get rid of it I think. I'll seal it away for good and won't open it til later on. Looking at it today made me really hurt, but I forgive her. She told me she'll never replace me. But she did. But everyone makes mistakes. I think I'll be able to move on even with the letters. It's memories of my first love. I already sealed everything away to prevent me from opening it anytime soon.

 

I don't hate her, well some days, I get this angry feeling towards her. But I really just think these memories symbolize love. It reminds me that at some point in the past, we really loved each other. It doesn't mean that it will hinder me from moving on. It's just a reminder of how it used to be. I won't be longing for her to return, but having these is a personal preference for me. No matter what happens, I'm going to protect and keep these memories. These were the good times. I don't ever want to remove these at all. Even with the hatred she has with me now, I can just touch this sealed package and remind myself that this person used to love me and that's all that matters.

[ghost1ee]

I am really having the urge to contact you again. It's only Day 11 of NC and I'm still worried you're still fresh with that anger towards me. So I won't contact you yet. And you're already talking to this other guy anyways. I have ideas of trying to get you back today, but I know that's not healthy for myself at all. I need to stop these urges, and keep up with my NC. I need to fight these demons in my head. AHHHHHH!

[einsteins_girl]

Almost 11 months now. Still no contact from you. Every day, I read posts on eNA about exes who suddenly make contact. Sometimes after mere days, sometimes after weeks, sometimes after many months. So rarely is there anyone like me. I guess I'll wear it as a badge of honor. The only one who never heard a word again. Maybe the badge should just say "Survivor."

[loseteach]

one more time, i dreamed about you last night. it was a very long dream. i was trying to wake up late in order to make it last longer. so now i waked up and wishing my dream would come true. i miss you so much Ti...may god will always help you on whatever you do.

[raenetha808]

You're not depressed, you f***. You just don't like me any more. That's dandy and all, but thanks heaps for not saying anything! Am I really that much of a piece of crap that deserves to be completely led on and bull****ed by some boy who wouldn't know what love is if it smacked him in the face? To think of all those times that I wanted to roll up into a ball and die because I missed you so badly, or because I thought you were suffering, or because I just didn't know and I kept holding out and holding out! And now, I not only know that you're up and around but you're actively trying to sever your ties with me and being extremely secretive and petty about it. Why do you loiter in my area then? It was my mother******* area long before you came along, jerk.

 

Obviously I'm angry. I'm angry for wasting even one teardrop on you. I'm angry for almost destroying my life because of you. I'm angry that you are a total idiot and I had such high hopes for you. I gave you those things of mine.... I really, truly cared about you. I thought you were so different, man... but god, I couldn't have been more swayed by illusion if I tried. And that's not my fault, it's completely, 100% yours. And I hope you can live with your terrible self.

[chamachama]

Do not contact her. That is all.

[Chalk]

Well, I'm back home now. Despite not seeing you I had a great time in Scotland. It was nice seeing Amy & I felt like myself again. I'm sad to be back as it reminds me of what I have lost & I'm not sure where things go from here. I still love you & miss you. I'm truly sorry we couldn't sort this out. I don't know if I can picture myself with anyone else. I love you & I wish I didn't.

[HopelessDream]

I miss you so much right now. It's been a month since you told me you left me because you found someone else and 3 weeks since I last spoke to you. It kills me thinking that you could just throw away four years for another girl and it kills me even more thinking about how you're probably happy right now. I'm not going to sit around and wait for you but this doesn't stop me from wishing we were still together. What we had was so good. I just wish you could've kept loving me.

[lalalollipops]

I wish things were different.

[theface71]

Never knew I had the ability to make someone so unhappy by loving them unconditionally. A year later since the good bye and I still love you because you are a beautiful soul...and I guess I was too ugly of a soul for you to stick through thick and thin...but you knew what kind of person I was from the beginning-all my good and bad. Guess my bad outweighed the good.

[ultimateguy8]

Do not contact her. That is all.

 

Chama, my main man, I ended up calling her around 8:30 pm tonight. I don't regret it at all. Even though she didn't pick up, I found out I was no longer blocked and was able to leave a voicemail. I kept it short and sweet and mentioned nothing about the relationship. I simply wished her a happy birthday and told her that I hope she has a good day, hope everything is going well, and that she does well on her finals. Maybe it will set her back just like any contact from her makes my insides turn. But I'm glad I ended up doing it. I don't care how she views me since this was my last initiated contact with her. If she wants to talk, she knows how to find me