Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[find sanity]

I am feeling very lonely today. I miss you and wonder if you miss me too. I want to txt, I want to call, I want to come to you but I know it would not do any good. Your health is failing because of your drinking. I use to be so proud that you were so honest with your problem anouncing and admitting to anyone who wanted to know that you are an alcoholic. But not once did you say I am an alcoholic and I need help to stop. I find thru the websites and literture that I have read on alcoholism that the alcoholic not only admits he has a problem but admits he needs help. That is one reason we are not together. I just could not do it anymore. I couldn't do the constant blaming, the not looking for a job, the laying around in filth all day, the caring about the cats than you did me. I love you and our last conversation I said I would wait, wait for you to get help. Wait for you to see that we can be more important than the booze. Today I am feeling that is wishful thinking. But how I miss you...how I love you, how I want to be with you, how I want our family back. Dear God, help me to get thru today....

[nanana]

Started a new job in an absolute dream place today! You know me well enough to know where I mean. Can you believe it? Wish I could tell you about it. Sometimes I think we had a terrible relationship. Other times I hear about the situation with other people and think geez, we had NOTHING to worry about. Our arguments seem so petty.

 

But you should of freaking called. I felt so used That hurt more than you dumping me.

 

I just want to know if you ever loved me. I keep thinking how you're going to love every girl after me so much more.

 

If you love me, you'll be back, and if you don't love me, then it's just as well you stay away. We always said it was bad timing and we're too young and that years from now things will work out. Let's see, shall we?

[Starrgrl]

Two years from now, three years from now, five years from now, you'll look back on everything and you'll regret. And when you come back wallowing in your pain, I will tell you that I have moved on.

Then you'lll cry for me... The way I have cried for you.

 

I was the one that stuck with you through thick and thin, overlooked all your faults, tried my hardest to make you a better person. You may forget my face in time and my voice... But you'll never forget what I did for you, and how I made you feel. Those things are going to stay with you for a very long time.

[delsolar16]

I know you loved me. I know you appreciated me at one point in our relationship. I know you found me attractive, and interesting, and smart. I know you realize I always treated you well. I always put you first, I told you that so many times. I was special to you. You enjoyed my company. You were lonely when I met you, but always had many guys wanting to talk to you. You didn’t like talking to them; you liked talking to me. It’s why you spent 6 hours a day communicating with me for the first 3 months. You really wanted me to fly up there to see you. You were nervous and hesitant, but you wanted it. You loved when I was there the first time. You couldn’t stop looking at me the first night. You stared at me for hours and smiled. We held each other’s hands while we lied in bed. We touched. We kissed. We loved. I gave you an emotional high for so long. You emailed your mom telling her about me and how happy you were. You have never felt towards another guy how you felt about me. You would always randomly text me to say how much you loved me. You stayed up so late every night to talk to me. You weren’t bored. You said you could listen to me talk forever. You stared at me over the webcam and would just smile and throw temper tantrums in your head because you couldn’t be next to me and touch me. You loved me and wanted me for so long. You were happy.

[Starrgrl]

I'm realising more than ever that you have scarred me more deeply than I have ever expected.

My heart feels so battered, and the funniest thing of all is you don't feel bad at all- for it's all my fault isn't it? In your warped, effed up mind, nothing is ever your problem. It's all mine.

 

All mine.

[jjbinks]

I hate missing u so much it hurts and I can't sleep or do anything but think of you and you can't give me anything I need. I'm just unimportant and i need to realise that I just can't. I want you to hold me Nd tell me it'll be okY even though I know it won't.

[SA2000]

I had a date a few nights ago. The upside: She was nothing like you. The downside: She was nothing like you.

[delsolar16]

I remember one of the very first things you ever said to me when we met was "Well, to be honest...I think I'm pretty awesome". I mistook your narcissism for confidence and healthy self-esteem.

 

You are so in love with yourself. I realize now that really all you want is a replica of yourself but with a penis. He would be your perfect match wouldn't he.

[peaceOfmind78]

Sweetie, what the f%@#?!?

I wanted to send you a text msg soooo SOOOO badly tonight.

Beca/sue i miss you. Dork.

whateveah.

 

Ugghhhh

Desperately tryin, to...desperately tring to.. get you off my mind BUT YOU!

Keep comin back! Keep kcoming back back back

keep comin back keep comin back back back back back back back babaack

[Philabonia]

I miss you a lot today for some reason...well, maybe not you, as it has been so long now that I'm quite sure the person I miss is no longer who you are, but I miss the life we had. Man, was it imperfect, but how I miss it. I guess nostalgic is the word; it makes me wonder what might have been had we not been so immature. I still want to talk to you, though so much time has passed; I'm pretty sure I am always going to feel something for you, no matter how much it pains me to admit it. You were my best love, and my worst - I learned so much because of you, though you ended up crushing me to the point that I had to change who I was to continue on with my own life.

 

Remember that day in New York City? Where we went to the Empire State Building? I did that again this weekend with some friends - it was fun, and I enjoyed myself, but it made me think of you. Too much still does. I am moving on with my life, and I love being single, but I wonder what could have been with you. I pray every night that we will meet again someday; to whom I pray I do not know, but its just part of me still yearning to fix what went so wrong.

 

I still love you so much, though I've been working on cutting the emotional cord to you. You have a new boyfriend - you are happy - I dont know why I cant get over that fact. Some days are good, and some days are bad. I am going to be ok. But not a day will go by that I wont miss you for a second, and wonder what could have been. I really do hope that your life is full of joy; your laugh always was the brightest light in my world. I love you.

[rosarioT]

what the point of calling you back if u never wanna talk? u hurt me so much, u are so selfish and immature, and i know u got me hanging in there only cuz u are afraid to be alone, but the sec u find someone else u will enver call back, so , I'M DONE!

[jjbinks]

i was fine all day, then it hits me that i have to get over this all over again. nothing will ease the pain but time and im tired of waiting for time. i feel so * * * * ed up right now. nothing can make thsi better but you, but that doesn't even count bc you cant even make me better, you end up making me worse by trying i am so alone and i feel sick. i feel sick of missing you, sick of worrying about you, sick of thinking about what could have been. sick of being upset over someoen who puts more stock in monetary funds than love.

[kourtney01]

I am so hurt. It's been a week and everything is just now starting to sink in...WHY did you have to cheat on me again? How can you look me in the eyes and tell me you love me...how can you make wedding arrangements with me and the family...only to disappear a few hours later and meet up with some ****. Now that I cought you all of a sudden you're a changed man again right? How many times are you gonna feed me that bull? You caused me nothing but grief for so long and I was in such a happy place getting over you. WHY did you have to penetrate my life AGAIN...propose to me...start a life with me again..talk about kids and marriage..set the date for our wedding and convince me that you are a changed man only to go and do it AGAIN! I hate you! I hate what I've become because of you! I hate that I love you SO much. I hate everything you have put me through! You have a disease in the head and now I am convinced that you are simply derranged. Did you really think I was gonna marry a cheater like you? If I would have gone through with the wedding this summer, you would have been responsible for destroying a marriage and a family later down the road. How can you sleep at night? You are just a bad person. No morals, no conscience, no guilt. The only time you feel bad is AFTER you lose me...but it was not enough to deter you from doing it anyway. Well for the first time in 2 years of ruining my life, you honey are gonna get to feel what it's like to feel the pain that you so easily dish out. And I will be strong...as much as it kills me to hurt you and to see you miss me because I miss you too, I will still LEAVE for good. Now you can decide if your BS was worth it a second time because there are no third chances and you will NEVER find better than me! Something tells me you already know that! GOODBYE

[incaangelique]

What do you want? You are just a liar.

[broken6]

11 years, and you just end it, on the spur of the moment! now your off doing cocaine to make your self happy, spending money crazily, not talking to your friends. but your telling me your ready to move on! what crap!!!

I love you, and i want you back!!! how can you just be away from me, by choice, not ringing to see how i am or tell me how you are. you say you want to, but you do not do it.

how can you throw away your best friend, the person that yesterday is 'the one you love the most in this world'

why are you doing this

how can you do this

if you love me so much than why are you being so stubborn and distant and self distructive

[rosarioT]

I don't know if u think about me at all or not, but I hope u know how much I love you and how grateful I am for the wonderful momment you gave me. I'm sorry I've not called you but I've decided to distant myself so we both can heal inside.

I'm so sorry you felt so out of place in life and never did more to help you out, I'm so sorry u ended up turning to drugs because how lonely and out of place u felt, i'm so sorry i was so selfish and didn't see what was behind your struggles... I'm so sorry I was not enough... But I don't blame u... I never gave myself completely, it was always about me and my priorities, and I never gave you a real place in my life. i couldn't... and for that I will always hate myself, but I know u'd never give up what we once had even if it was the same way all over again and true is neither would I....

 

Sweet dreams my love... Forgive me for everything... You are amazing and I know you don't hold nothing against me because you have a beautiful heart, so please try to find your path... and fly high because u can be anything u want... I love you and I know you love me too. Duerme con los angeles mi cielo

[jjbinks]

I dk why u always have to make me so upset. It's like u need to hurt me in order to stop taking to me in hopes that I willbe begging for your attention so you feel loved.. This makes me sick. I was happy u called me to open up and when I tried to be there it wasn't enough and u flipped out at me. Sorry I'm such a mistake and I can't do anything right according to you. Hope u feel better, I prayed for you.

[twitchyfingers]

(Edited: wrong thread earlier!)

 

I don't get it. How can say you ADORE me, and that you've never had conversations like the ones we've had, and never known anyone with so many of the same interests, and that you think I'm awesome and incredible, and say you want to be the best version of yourself for me, and build these huge castles in the sky, and then...change your mind. "I don't feel passion for you." Well, you might've figured that out before we became intimate! You might've not professed UNDYING LOVE before you figured that I wasn't your physical type as well.

 

I'm an idiot for buying the fantasy.

 

The sad thing is, I can't even hate you, because I know it hurt you, too, and you handled a lousy situation as best as anyone could. Damn it.

[jjbinks]

I am really upset now. I miss u. I'm thinking about u and I know it's useless. I can't get us out of my head. I know it will pass, I just am waiting so I don't have to feel so terrible. U are the worst person to miss. Why did u have to set me back again? U didn't even seem to cafe about my support and nothing I do helps so I dk what the purpose was of calling me. Maybe that's y u said u made a mistake. This morning was difficult an bc of u I didn't sleep and almost missed my 8 am which should've made me hate u but it didn't. Life.

[Robin2904]

Thanks alot for contacting me to see if I ever made it home okay on Monday! Not even a text to make sure I was okay- NOTHING. Your friggin SISTER even texted me to see if I made it home okay- you on the the other hand could care less!! Even if you did find out from her I was okay- hell after the weekend you could have just texted me to see how I am emotionally. But I guess you would have to care to want to do that huh?

 

I really went into this weekend with no expectations. I tried to just go in wanting to spend time with you, catch up. I missed you- I missed the friendship we used to have under everything. But from the second I walked through the door I could see that everything was different....that the friendship was dead. But still I stayed and tried. Friday wasn't so bad....after the initial awkwardness, I was feeling a little better. Still it was SO difficult being near you and not holding your hand in the car like we always did, not kissing you, hugging you, cuddling while we watched TV. It was literally torture. Especially because ALL the old was staring me in the face- the places we went, the things we did- I had NEVER been at your house before and NOT acted lovey dovey with you- even when we were broken up! And you- you ALWAYS made a point to show me affection- even when we were fighting, when I would push you away and say that was it....YOU were the one who would force me to see how much you loved me. I didn't see that at all this time.

 

There was no affection towards me at all. When I was going to bed Friday night....my wheels were turning. I got into bed and was literally on the brink of tears. It was too much for me. Then you came....brought me a blanket and said 'no matter what I love you' and you kissed me. It was a short kiss- I know, but for a moment I thought- maybe things will be okay! Maybe that was you trying to reach out to me and show me you still loved me! ....Now I think it was more about pity then anything else.

 

Saturday was a blur. More of the same awkward stuff. We would have moments where it felt light and playful....where I saw glimpses of the old us....but they were replaced by awkward silence after. I probably should have left Saturday- made some excuse up...but I stayed against my better judgment. And Saturday night as I got into bed- and waited- and hoped- that you would kiss me good night like the night before. I said 'good night' as you walked by and you waved 'night' as you continued to text on your phone and went into your room. You had been too busy texting most of the weekend to even pay me mind. You don't think it hurt me to see you text other girls right in front of me?? It KILLED me! I cried myself to sleep that night.

 

You didn't even hesitate to rub in my face that you've been on other dates, seen other girls, are talking to many girls. Again how did you think that would make me feel? It hurt- thats how it felt. It hurt SOOO MUCH!!!! Not like I didn't know, but it friggin killed me! ....Then Sunday....I spent the whole day with your mom and sister. You went to the gym for a loooooong time. We went grocery shopping, watched a chick flick, made pizza, and watched the Golden Globes. I actually had the best time with them sad to say. But at the same time it was a cruel reminder of things. Your mom called me 'family' and your sister kept saying 'next time you come we can do this....' and blah blah blah....and it just made me feel horrible. This is NOT my family. They will never be my family- I need to not be attached to them. I only hurt myself.

 

Finally Sunday night I couldn't take it anymore. I broke down. I admitted how hard it was to be around you and not be close with you like always....I bawled like a baby. And you? You were so damn cold I think it was probably warmer outside and there was 2 feet of snow on the ground. I've never seen you that cold before towards me when I was upset. You just looked like you didn't care. I poured my love for you out, showed it ALL to you....and you said you loved me- but it was empty. And I could see that you didn't love me the same....not like you used to. I don't doubt you have love for me. I'm sure you do, but not a romantic love. I didn't feel that at all. You didn't even have a tear in your eyes for me. I didn't recognize you. I know this was my fault....because I know i hurt you, and I probably made you cold like this. Maybe in a twisted way I deserved this.

 

Then you proceeded to tell me you didn't want a relationship. You didn't want to be 'tied down' you said it so calmly as I tried not to bawl. When I asked you why, you replied with a cocky smile that still stings 'I want my freedom' I might as well have been punched in the face. You NEVER EVER looked at a relationship with me as being tied down. You told me you would never give up on us, would always want me, and here I was all but BEGGING for us and you basically stepped on my heart with combat boots. You even told me one of the girls you went out with asked you to be her boyfriend and you turned her down. Was that supposed to make me feel better? Comparing me to some girl you went on a date with? This was ME! GOD! And I asked if you ever thought we could have something again and you said you didn't know. That you didn't want something now, it just killed me. KILLED. I never thought things would go the way they did with us. You expected us to be friends? I'm not sure how. There is NO way I could be friends with you. I loved you too much.

 

And it kills me to think that while your out there- not looking for a relationship- you'll find someone good, and you'll fall in love with her- and you'll love her more then you loved me, and I'll just be a distant memory in your past. It eats at me. I have nightmare after nightmare about this. I'd like to think you'd never find someone as good as me, someone who loved you as much as I did....but truth is I don't know.

 

All I know is I'm hurting so much right now and I just want the pain to stop. And I know I won't hear from you anytime soon. Not after the awkward goodbye on Monday- barely saying 2 words to each other the whole ride to the bus station. I need to face the fact that what we had- its DEAD. And the man that I fell in love with, the man who looked at me with stars in his eyes, who would do anything in the world for me, who told me he would never give up on me....he's gone and not coming back. It kills me, but he's really gone....

[Helpmetoheal]

I miss you so badly, my whole body aches. I haven't eaten or slept for 10 days. I want to contact you, go to you, hug you, beg you, cry on your shoulder but I know I can't. I am so pathetic for feeling like this. I am trying so hard to get past this. I thknk about you every 5 minutes.

[jjbinks]

Just heard heart by stars, even though it wasn't one of our songs, it broke me. I hope you are doing okay and everyone is well I miss u and I'm sure whenever ur thinking of me, I'm thinking of u

[iwannarun]

I do miss you. I always do. But fortunately for me, I have some really great friends who support me and want me to be happy. It's your loss really, if you don't want to talk to me. Completely and totally your loss.

[jjbinks]

I cooked tonight. My best meal yet. Salmon and broccoli and rice and asparagus . I wanted to share that with u. Today sucks I had to try so hard not to text you, the ghost of you is killing me. I'm afraid I'll always love u. Tiny things like knowing I won't get ready w u anymore or smell u are starting to make me cry. This morning I saw ur hairgel in my bathroom and lost it. Totally going crazy without you.

[rosarioT]

i'm sorry for not returning your calls but u gotta know this isn't working for me no more. You know how selfish it is to expect so much from me when u don't give nothing no more... u know i deserve better... u know the way u treat me hurts me so much... so don't expect my calls...if anything be man enough to understand you gave up on what we had and keep living ur life and let me live mine.