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I hate you so much. I can't believe after all these years, all these ups and downs, I meant so little to you that you could treat me like crap. To cheat on me and show no remorse, no guilt, just spiteful arrogance and attempts to justify it.

 

I used to think you were the most amazing, beautiful, adorable, loving person I have ever met in my life. Every time I held you, every time we had sex, everytime I freakin' looked at you, I thought I was the luckiest man in the world. Now, I think you are the biggest piece of trash I have ever known. I can't believe I ever trusted you.

 

I wish nothing but pain and misery on you.

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I hope you and your family have a happy thanksgiving. I love you so dearly that the past 5 months would simply melt away if we could just talk. Yes, you have hurt me deeper than I ever thought possible, and reduced me to the ashes of my former self, but you have made me realize who I want to be. The one thing that saddens me is that I've learned so much, and will never be able to share that fact with you. You and your new boyfriend seem happy - I hope that's the case, for your sake. I love you too much to see you constantly on the run from one to another. I want you to find whatever you are looking for. I want you to be happy; we shared so much, I hope you learned something. It would be the greatest of travesties for so much pain to be spilled on my end, with you learning nothing in the end.

 

But, nonetheless, you will one day realize that I am the best you are ever going to do. Yes, who I was could not deal with everything going on at the time, but that was not me. I hope to be able to show you that fact one day.

 

I love you more than I can emphasize in words. You will always be in my heart, and I will replay the memories in my dreams. Time has only cemented you further into my psyche. BTW, I forgave jean finally - God now owes me one...I hope it involves you. Take care, Lo.

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Hey you know what?

I thought I was so scared and nervous about seeing you at the dinner, but Im actually excited! I really want you to bring your new boyfriend. It would be a pretty interesting (and undoubtedly awkward) night for the three of us. BTW, did you know that Ive known him since middle school? You think you know him, but Im pretty sure I know him better

 

I havent changed much. I dont want to change. I was a fine man before I met you. You turned me into a love-hungry psycho, and Im simply reverting back to my old self.

I love you still, though less and less each day.

 

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving. Be thankful! and careful what you wish for!

 

Love/Hate,

Ex.

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Hi Peter. I know you're not really my ex, but I wanted to write anyway. You now Mike broke up with me, and I loved him deeply.

When I met you, I fell in love with you, too. It wasn't as deep as Mike, but it was a fresh relaxed love like I've never had before.

You were honest about where you were in life and did your best not to hurt me. I loved you, but I was able to let go because you acted like a gentleman. You were respectful and open, and everything anyone could wish for. I feel sad that we probably won't meet up again. But I loved you when we were together - even if it was only two weeks. Just wanted to say.

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You want to give me an ultimatum? I love talking with you, we're staying friends. I know I tell you I love you but love does not equal relationship. You've done enough damage, we're so much better off as friends. I know you want my love, you miss it, but I can't give and give and give like before. I'm over that struggle. I'm over it.

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S I thought I was over you. But I'm not. You've been spending so much time with me recently my broken heart is beginning to stupidly/wrongly fix. You still make my heart flutter, your arms are still where I feel the safest, you still make me laugh the hardest, and I always feel so gorgeous in front of you. I would give the world to be with you S.

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I think you must have taken your kids and visited family today. But were you still lonely? I hope so... sorry, I can't help it. I think in time I will be able to wish you to be happy without me, but I'm not there right now. I miss you still, but I miss you less than I did a few days ago. I do believe I'm slowly making progress.

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gosh, I missed you today. I ran my first race and it was awesome, but I wanted you there waiting as I crossed the finish line....I hated the Thanksgiving Dinner because you weren't there, and then I came home alone. Here I sit, alone, by choice. I could have a relationship, in a heartbeat, if I wanted it. But I only want you.

A friend today told me it was not a rational thought, to not want anyone else- but instead - it was the heart thinking. He says in time I will think rationally again.

 

idk for now it just hurts. and I just miss you and feel stupid, because you obviously don't want me.

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Hi. There was a car accident outside my house just now, it's the middle of the night - so I have no one to talk to. It was horrific. It reminded me of the fatality we saw on our last holiday together. I am shaking all over and I can't stop wishing you were here to comfort me. I miss you so much. Please come back.

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