SmilingKatty

You have broken me. I feel it more and more clearly these days. Why hope for another, better relationship, when feelings are so fragile? Even though I wish you would came back, I know, that it would not solve anything. We are too different in the most important things. It would end up the same way as it did this time. But still, I believe that you will come back one day or another. But till then? How to stop feeling like a waiting shadow? I came up with so many distractions, but I am still feeling empty. Will I be strong enough to pretend to be happy and full of energy, when we run into each other? How I wish you would come out and said, that everything has changed. But would that still be you? It would be a blessing to be able to blame the breakup only on you. But I feel, that I had a big part in the way things ended between us. This though makes me cry.

You know, in two weeks there is a movie, which I know you would love to see. I need to fight the urge to invite you out to see it (as I am almost sure you will not notice). I WILL NOT do it!!!! And I will not even post about it anywhere, because it would be meant just for you. ARGHHH!!!! During the last contact you admitted you felt down, but I will not even ask you if you are doing better. I will not!!! ´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´ Actually, it would be so easy, to send an e-mail with the information about the movie, wouldn´t it? BUT I WILL NOT DO IT!!!! (hopefully

I haven´t check up on you since thursday. Strangely I don´t have any feeling of accomplishment because of it. But I will hold on at least til wednesday!

I will not check up on you today! (actually I will feel AWESOME if I don´t do it during the weekend!)

One of my friend was in a relationship with a guy for 2 - 3 years and then broke up with him because she fell in love with someone else. But after some time (something between 1-3 months) she found out, that she cannot live without her boyfriend and got back to him... Now they are very happy parents