Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[bart]

I'm going to bed now, soo much better than when you forced me to stay up til 4 a.m. all the time.

[sunday2010]

I'm going to Chicago in November.

 

I hope that, by then, I won't be thinking of you as much or hurting over this as much anymore. The last thing I need is that vacation to be tarnished by the memories we had there.

 

I'm sorry I wasn't the woman you needed or wanted me to be.

 

I'm sorry that being myself wasn't good enough for you.

 

And I know this is stupid, but I'm sorry that I'm not the 120 lb Objectivist girl that you'd like to have in your life.

 

I tried to be the best I could -- but even that wasn't enough.

 

hey he didn't deserve you .. just pm me if you want.You are a gorgeous girl and its his loss.as with my ex its his loss too

 

nothing i did for my ex was enough either...

[OneBrightStar]

hey he didn't deserve you .. just pm me if you want.You are a gorgeous girl and its his loss.as with my ex its his loss too

 

nothing i did for my ex was enough either...

 

Thanks Sunday.

[OneBrightStar]

Seems that no matter what I do, no matter how much I try to distract myself --

 

No matter how I try to replace thoughts of you in my mind with something else (ie, gradute school) --

 

You still manage to shove your way to the front.

 

It's exhausting, really.

[Philpo82]

Seems that no matter what I do, no matter how much I try to distract myself --

 

No matter how I try to replace thoughts of you in my mind with something else (ie, gradute school) --

 

You still manage to shove your way to the front.

 

It's exhausting, really.

 

I am here too

 

Starting to feel impatient today. I was doing so well and haven't seen any photos of you for a week and then today I had to accidently see a photo of you on facebook didn't I! ](*,) I thought I had mitigated any chance of that happening. Well I hope I have now. For a moment it felt like I was back to week 1 with a massive cut opening up in my chest. I have quickly tried to forget it though & I'm doing better.

 

You know I just wish I was over you already. I don't want this pain anymore. If I see pictures of you I instantly remember what I've lost. You're gorgeous and perfect for me. No I'm not putting you on a pedestal, you really are that great. I know I'm great too but why did your feelings change? Why were you not stronger to try and work this out with me? Why didn't you want me in your life. I've lost so much.

 

I wish it was a year into the future already. I wish I could have clarity and no pain. I wish I didn't think of you before I went to bed and first thing when I wake. Do you even think of me anymore?

 

I still can't believe you're gone. It has been over 5 weeks now and although I've made progress I still feel like it could have been a week. I realise now the only way of getting over you is to forget how great you are and we were.

[Snowy]

I'm going to play some DotA now. Why? Simple, you didn't like me playing DotA, so that's why I'll play.

 

Basically I'm trying to piss you off telepathically.

[Pirouette]

I guess my friend was right. I really should just leave you alone forever. I don't think I've ever felt this thrown away in my life. I gave you the deepest part of me, and you threw it back in my face. It's like you hate the very sight of me now. I don't know what I did to deserve this. I just can't take this anymore. I've only ever been nice and sweet to you. But you treat me like dirt, like I'm of no value to you. I'm a good person, and I deserve better than this. Why can't I find anybody who will treat me right? Why am I so stuck on you when you are mean and dimissive towards me? Why do I try to win your approval? I'm starting to doubt myself. I'm starting to go down that long, dark road of despair again. You hate me, and it feels like my world is falling apart.

[DeenasRhino]

Left school early. If we were together I'd be on the train right now coming to see you.

[WomanWriter]

I know I have to be patient and wait this out. Things have to get worse before they get better. I can't say I didn't know this day would come. I knew your bimbo would move in on your family. I knew you'd bring her to church and to the house. I just can't believe I ever got involved with a guy like you. I've never known guys I've been with to bring other women around. It just wasn't my lifestyle. Even my ex fiance keeps his gf under the radar and he waited 11 months to officially get with her. I actually respect him for that and don't feel threatened anymore because I know he is a decent man. You, B, you're not. I think you have a lot of nerve brining the woman you cheated on me with to church. How could you even Go to church after something like that? After not repenting? Because you think it's romantic. I thought maybe you would get a wake-up call after you lost your job, started smoking, and your life was generally going downhill. But apparently it looks like your family is now approving of her, so you are going to be happy as a clam. I wish I could say I am happy for you, but how in the world can that be when you are a bad person who continues to think it's ok to carry on like this?

 

It's a different story with L. He didn't lie to me. He didn't cheat on me. He didn't pretend to be Christian. Whatever issues we had were open. But you parade around acting like you're Mr. Holy Man while you are messing around in a hotel with the girl 4 days after you get with her (not to mention that you cheated before). You come to church with your attitude and act like you did nothing wrong to me (cheating). You say that as long as it doesn't happen to you, oh well.

 

How can anyone be your friend when you are a sociopath? Even your sister thinks you are a sociopath (in her own words), but she is befriending your bimbo? I just don't get it. She said your new girl was really mean and deserved to be hurt by you. Yet she's friends with her.

 

Life seems so unfair. What did I do to deserve this? I ask myself that often. Because I may not be the best person, but at least I am honest or try to be.

 

When will I stop getting pooped on? I guess he who has the last laugh laughs best. I must look ahead. You can have your fun and games now, but they will be over when mine are starting. So enjoy it while you can. I have a feeling you asked Bimbo to reach out to your sister because she was going to throw you out of the house. It's one of your manipulative tactics. Get everyone on the same side so you get support. Who can kick someone out who is being nice as pie? You may be dead broke and a user but if you're both sucking up, who can resist those puppy dog eyes and the tears? I obviously couldn't resist them, so I guess you're in for life.

[littlegirlblue]

I'm feeling a bit better today. I'm still over analysing everything you did and said on saturday night / sunday morning. When i had to call you today re the vet appointment for Gibson you sounded so down. You asked how i was first before i asked you how you were. Yes I may be faking the fact that I am ok but you don't need to know that. Just you wait. You're in for a shock. Come thursday after your doctors appointment you will not hear from me. I will not ignore your texts of calls if you call me but there is a huge change coming from within me. You want this girl? You deludedly think she is the one after 2 weeks...but she won't let you physically near her because she's been raped...then you tell me you lied about that to spare my feelings? How twisted if it is a lie!

 

I sadly still have hope that you're just filling that space because you have no one else and sooner or later you will realise i was "the one" as you even said the other night that you will never have with anyone else what we had. I can't wait till Thursday to go NC but i do want to know how you got on. I'm not even sure i will text you as you probably will ignore it? I'll have to think about that one and get some advice!

[littlegirlblue]

Urgh I just had a horrible thought! What if you do get serious about this girl and she goes to NY with you and your family at the end of October. You begged me to try and save the money to go just 2 months ago! You said you'd love to propose to me there, as much as i found it funny when you said it, i would have said yes

 

I also did the stupid thing of looking at this girls facebook page and i know her birthday is coming up at the end of september. a few days before mine. I bet she will end up with more than a "You're not getting anything...not even a birthday card because you pissed me off!". I so keep getting the feeling you are trying to protect yourself from how you really feel about me but i'm SO worried it's now just hope that's making me think that way. The way you stroked my face and stroked my booster jab scar on my arm. There's certain things you can't fake and the way you look at me is one of them. I can see that look still in your eyes, but again I'm worried i'm imagining it.

[Flint_Wood]

C just called you a crazy b****. My first instinct was to hit him, then I wanted to tell him I agree... We're all really messed up, thanks for that.

[OneBrightStar]

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

[littlegirlblue]

I'm going to bed right now and i wish you were lying next to me. All i can think of was how it felt to touch your skin again yesterday morning when i rubbed your back and stroked your arm. Why didn't you tell me to stop!!? When you're supposed to be happy with this girl? why didn't you tell me to stop!? I miss you so much. Goodnight x

[bart]

I'm going to play some DotA now. Why? Simple, you didn't like me playing DotA, so that's why I'll play.

 

Basically I'm trying to piss you off telepathically.

 

Hahahah, I love this!

[lostninsecure]

I know you and I are a thing of the past, a long history of some of the best times of my life, I truly did love you, I believed in you through all your struggles and insecurities but in the end I never got a thank you. You became cold and heartless, maybe your way of moving on, is to never speak to me again, but I would be lying if I said it didnt hurt. It hurts that you never once wrote me to see if I was okay, or showed me any signs that you still cared. You now have someone else that you chose over me and you rushed into the whole thing and now are going to be a father.

I dont know how or when I will ever be happy for you, I am disappointed in the way you made so many promises to me and let me down.

I have struggled so much in the past 10 months with so many life changing events including you, I had no one but this gawd dang forum to help me through. Some days is easy others are horrible.How could you have not felt anything after this, how you just went off with her and pretend all the years we shared were nothing to you? How??

I know you will never contact me in the future just to say Hi or catch up, maybe by then I would be healed and happy and just wont care.

I will never forget the way you made me feel, so low and ugly and lifeless.

You took away all the respect I had for you. I have heard someone say today "stop living in the past and start living for the future" and thats what I am going to do. I am putting my past and pain and memories with you on a tall shelf and let it collect so much dust and maybe one day I will take it down and be able to just laugh at myself for being so caught up in loving you.

[bart]

Took a road trip today with the family. I remember every time I'd come home from one of those I'd talk to you for hours, and we'd be so excited to talk because we missed each other so much. And usually on those road trips I would think of you every minute.

 

On the way home today, I felt a little pain as I remembered this. But it quickly went away. I only thought of you once on a 6 hour road trip with no possible distractions. I guess I am moving on.

[WomanWriter]

This is weird, but since my ex LB accepted me as a friend on Facebook, I feel relieved. I also feel relieved that my ex fiance and I are on good terms and that he hugged me last time he saw me. So basically, I am on good terms with all my exes except you, Brian. For some reason, that is comforting to me.

 

Doesn't mean my exes were so wonderful or that I am, but it just reassures me that I did date guys who weren't total jerks like you and that we can still be friendly.

 

It's not that I was never upset with my other exes (Lord knows I was!), but they never did me wrong in the ways you have. And I never picked anyone as bad as you until now.

 

Just the fact that I can be cool with exes makes me think that I must have been in an exceptionally bad place mentally when we got together (and even now). It is good to know, actually. It's also hard to believe I dated someone like L and someone like you. I think I know why now, but you're someone I can never see myself being friendly with in the future.

 

Even if I do forgive you down the road, you're someone I would not want to hug or talk to or Facebook friend. I didn't feel like that with the others. I always pined for L. I didn't pine for LB but we stayed friends for a while and I didn't have a problem with it.

 

With you, I just want you to disappear forever. I am controlling and I don't like to face reality. True, cuz my reality right now sucks. I will have to face it sure. But no need to see you, so I am leaving the church on Sundays. Maybe some time I can ask you to come to a different service. I know you don't HAVE to, but would you be willing to do that? Can you please not be a COMPLETE jerk and just stay away from me? You like to rub stuff in, but you got the other woman now, so can't you just be happy with that and quietly lead your life? There are a lot of churches where you live but not so many where I am, so why not try another church? You don't have to, but please consider that.

[DeenasRhino]

You haven't checked our diary in a while. Why the sudden stop?

[Sparkly Eyes]

You know how to break my heart over and over, don't you? But I'll be fine.

[iBroken]

Its not my problem that you are busy with work and your move.

 

Change the information and CLOSE THE BANK ACCOUNT PLEASE.

[littlegirlblue]

Why her? Why not me? What has she got that I haven't? telling me she understands you is crap as I'm the only one that's stuck by you for the past 4 years. Eveyone else has walked away because of you and your issues! That must surely show that I understand you.

 

she looks so like G and her name is the same minus the G. This is so heartbreaking. What is so wrong with me? Why can't you love me? You said you did on sunday and then said you'd never loved before an hour later. All these lies...all this head nonsense. I just can't take it anymore. Stop hurting me. PLEASE!!!

[biggestdork]

Tricked myself into thinking I still have a chance again... the mind is so complicated

 

Ill probably text you to wish you happy bday tomorrow... I hope this pain ends after this week is over

 

Take care, M.

[WomanWriter]

For God's sake...

 

What is God trying to tell me?

 

I just went and looked at my ex fiance's FB page (ex fiance was the only civilized guy I dated). I mean, hey, I'm basically over him (love him, but over him). Looking at his FB page doesn't really bother me anymore.

 

But what did he have posted on his wall? ZOMBIES! What is this? I looked at his gf's sister's page and there we have MORE ZOMBIES.

 

It's so ironic that every one of my exes is into zombies/vampires...or girls who are into them.

 

For crying out loud, all you exes...what is with this? And especially L...since when did you like that stuff? I know you like sci-fi, but I didn't know you were like all the rest.

 

It's a sore spot because of Brian cheating on me with a girl obsessed with zombies. Is that the new bandwagon thing? Gee, even guys who I thought were indepndent thinkers...they all love zombies and vampires. WHY?!

[Scotty123]

I bored thinking about you ! I'm feed up with you being in my head. I'm feed up wondering what your thinking if anything. I'm just totally bored having thoughts of you in my head !