Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[annbuckley]

What you did hurt me. You said sorry as though you had brushed lint off of a strangers jacket. You never looked at me lovingly and told me that you regretted what you did. You called me horrible things and expected I was going to be someone else. You are cruel and arrogant. You are haughty and bitter and you are not truthful. The girl you are with today will be happy because she sees the fake you. The you that has charm and charisma. The you that is fun and alive. You are inside a blank and empty vessel and your appreciation level is insatiable. If you are not the center of the attention, you are empty. You are a peacock - showing your plume but you are not beautiful. I loved you more than I have ever loved anything and you spit on me. You threw me away like trash into a rat infested dumpster. I hate you for what you did to me. I hate the words you used to describe yourself. You are plug and play. No one will ever see the real you until they fall for you and then you become Dr. Jeckle. I hate feeling this way. I hate wearing pain - the parasitical pain that you said that I was. I took nothing from you. I never asked for a thing and now she will be getting all of the good from you - and It was I who deserved it. I didn't deserve your ugliness. But - like I said - for two years she will have the time of her life - you aren't even going to try on a few girls. You will fill your cup with the immediate adoration. you will have fun. you will have fun. and then you will turn into the ugly that you are. I must must must let you out of my head. I must must must stop thinking about you. I want to crush you right now. If i were a man - I would beat the snot out of you for what you did to me. You are a coward. I would love to put on a gi and kick the ever loving crap out of you - and leave you to lay and rot. How can I have loved you so much. How can i have loved you so much to have lost so much of myself. I have never hated anything in my life. Never.

And for all these words - I don't hate you. I must mentally beat you out of my head. And when I have left you to rot, as you have done to me year after year after year, How will I feel. I feel sick. pulling myself out of your entrapment and letting go - I feel sick. I want to explode. i want to release this anger - I have so much anger. I am so badly hurt. I hate what has happened to me. My dreams are gone. My trust is gone. God have mercy on my spirit. Let me out of this internal horror show. My insides are on fire. I don't care about plug and play. I feel sorry for her. Yes - she will have fum for a while - but god help her. I am not angry at her. She is innocent. She hasn't got a clue what he is. He is a Narcissistic Man with Boarderline Personality Traits and he is an abuser. He will shoot you down when he is finished. I read somewhere, that his purpose on earth was to teach women about themselves. I agree. If it wasn't for him, i wouldn't have learned hate. I wouldn't have researched abandonment. I wouldn't have screwed up my son's life either. My poor child has become a bitter and cynical soul. He has amazing set of boundaries - where he got them i don't know. Not from me. I love my child. I hate that I let him see such horror in my marriage. I wanted to leave when he was small but he begged me not to and so I stayed. i should have taken my child out of the situation but I was too scared to be on my own - I was too tired from working so hard and i thought that my husband was going to rescue us. He did provide a lot of wonderful things - it wasn't all bad - but it was bad. I am afraid now again for my future. Will I be able to make it on my own. Yes. Am I really tired of it. Right now yes, but in time - no. I want the nager to go away. I think I need to go find a club to release it. I need to take kick boxing or something. I need to beat it out of me so that I can breathe. I am afraid of hurting myself or others - I am not relaxed. I am angry.

this goes out to the cosmos. It is a rant, a tantrum, a primal scream. Nothing more.

[Nerdyjock]

Dear Ex,

 

You broke up with me, so why have you begged me to come back since the day you ended things? You threw in the towel out of the blue without even trying to work on things.

 

You have considered suicide one time (years before you met me), and that is the ONLY reason I have suppressed my feelings and tried to be a shoulder for you to cry on as you spiral into despair. But I don't want to... I just do it because I feel bad for you. When I am here for you to cry about how alone you feel and how bad you messed up, it tears me up inside because you chose to dump me because of my inadequacies. I wish I wasn't worried about your physical safety so I could stop answering your phone calls full of crying, and actually move on with my life.

 

It's crystal clear that you and I aren't compatible - I only wish you hadn't presented yourself as a better person when we first met. I date people who aren't perfect, so why you thought you had to pretend to be perfect so I would like you is beyond me.

 

I hope you date again and find true love. I do not wish pain upon your heart. I just hope you carry the lessons you've learned to the next person you share love with.

[moyno85]

gah, haven't spoken to you for 51 days. The longest we've ever gone without talking.

 

I don't know what to do anymore, I still love you more than you will probably ever know.

 

I wish I could change the way you felt but its safer just to suffer in silence.

 

Hope you're happy, I really mean that.

[J-L-T]

Please come back to me. Please. I miss you so much. The pain I feel tonight is unberable. I wish I could make you realise how much I love you. That I'm willing to do anything to make things right. But I already told you that. You say that nothing I can say will change your mind, because you don't believe things would change. But OMG, there was so much GOOD as well. I thought there was a lot more good than bad. Maybe you didn't, I guess? I hate how it's just like you're dead to me now. I don't want you to be with anyone else, it's meant to be you and me. I had a dream last night that I begged you not to go with someone else. We were both crying our eyes out, but you still said "I can't do it anymore" Just like what happened when you ended it. When you hugged me, I was sure I could win you back. But even after saying you'll miss me, crying, etc. you're still not back. The last times I've spoken to you, you've made it clear you didn't want to be. Cutting the conversation off etc. It's a month today you walked out on me. I wonder what you think when you think of me. There's so much more I could say...

[HLamb]

I can't believe that your birthday is coming up. I've debated in my mind as to what I would or wouldn't do on that day for so long now. Now that it's actually almost here, it's got me thinking in circles. I never cared enough to want to celebrate it with you when we were together. So why would it be so special now? What can I say? I deliberately wanted to make things be less special so that if we were no more, it wouldn't be that hard to move on. Past experiences tend to make people more guarded and I've used that excuse for too long now. I can't rewrite the past. Guess I can only learn from it.

 

I think I will send you that card. It won't have much in terms of words but if you only knew the desire behind it. Yes, I still think about you day and night. It's just a card. It's just a greeting. Perhaps things could be different one day. Maybe, this will let you know that I might be worthwhile to take another shot with. Yeah... all from a card. I try not to fool myself. Sometimes I don't do a good job.

[artistic1]

HEY! You get no love,,, no love from me. I want you so bad but you threw me away. All I have are questions but no answers will satisfy me. You went to the point of no return, there is no coming back from this. But still I hold on. you can kick me but I will break your legs. I know you and what you are all about, it's a little too late now, all I have are broken pieces. You will never understand how deep the pain goes, you will never know. I won't join you, I will beat you. I am better then you, I will never give this pain to anyone, you will never beat me............

[brandnewday47]

Would have been our anniversary today... hope you have a good day.

[ElleB]

Oh my love.

Today is a bad day. A really bad day for me. I just miss you terribly. My heart spasms in pain when I think about you, and I've been crying on and off since I woke up into this hellish day. I love you still... so much. But you've gone. You left me.

I am growing as you wanted me to, I am changing.. I am stronger. Just today it's caught up with me and everything I do reminds me of you. I used to find it so cute when you did things wrong... I miss you so much. I want to tell you how well I have been doing, how much progress I've been making. But it feels like I'm here loving you still, but you've moved on... I wish we could have another chance one day.

[Flint_Wood]

There's something I've been meaning to tell you...

 

Dr. Who is ****ing fantastic!

[WomanWriter]

B,

 

I hate you so much. I'm so angry at you. Yesterday sucked. I'm sorry I snapped at you and refused a hug but I just can't forgive you now until you get help. I know you feel like everyone is ganging up on you. You are ashamed and embarrassed for the monster you know you are and even though you are coming to church, you don't want to be there. Well, GET HELP, YOU IDIOT! What are you waiting for?! I saw you looking at the videos and you looked embarrassed when I walked in the room. Were you looking for a video on sex addicition help? If you were, good for you. Don't be embarrassed. Get the help, OK? Look, I don't really hate you. I feel sorry for you. You are out of control and I know you are actually in pain and lashing out. BUT GET HELP!

 

I know this is crazy, but all I want to do is hold you in my arms. I know that is nuts but I see you as a little boy that has lost all hope in life. I remember the times you cried on me in agony from the emotional pain from your past. I held you and kissed your head. It was strange because I never had to deal with that before but it produced a weird protective feeling in me. And the night we had an earthquake, my heart was pounding, my first thought was whether or not you were ok.

 

Why do I care about you? Part of me has always hated you but part of me loves you too. It's not just your boyish good looks. It's something else, I figure. I think it's crazy how we used to tell each other EVERYthing. I could say ANYTHING and you were totally cool. You used to tell me ANYTHING too, and I accepted it as part of your past. You told me I was your best friend and you felt no walls, no pride between us. You said you were so grateful to have me there by your side and you wanted to be a better person by being with me. You wanted to change everything and marry me.

 

Well, it's sad, because I guess life doesn't work that way. No matter how good people's intentions are, there is too much baggage.

 

I see you with the pain in your eyes and the coldness in your heart and I know I can't reach you. You are locked up in a prison of your own making. And that's not even a physical prision yet. But you are heading that way.

 

Everyone is saying bad things about you. I see the pain it is causing you. A lot of what they are saying is stuff you admitted to me. I know they aren't telling the whole story and I feel sorry for you. I do believe you were honest most of the time. But you have an addicition that causes you to be secretive and defensive at the cost of truth.

 

One of these days, can we please make peace? Get some help. Then I just want to hold you while we both cry and put this nightmare behind us...so we can be real friends.

[annbuckley]

I will never forgive you for what you did to me. I will forgive myself for putting up with it for so long. Don't call me, don't write me - get out of my freaking head. OUT. I have had more than I can take and I deserve better. You are just plug and play. You will hurt someone else the same way as you did over and over again. I didn't understand Heathers overwhelming sadness - but it was the same as my own. You did it to her too, and the one before that. The paper wasn't dry on the divorce. It wasn't dry! That is why she called us all the time and would get so drunk and so obnoxious. She had your unfinished business. Oh my - I hope the girl you are with is smarter than we were. I hope that seh sees you for the fraud that you are. You lying jerk. You are so romantic, so attntive, so fantastic but inside youdon't know how to be a man. You are just an illusion - somthing that movies are made of but you are a shallow child and your character is a lie.. Yes you did some great things while we were together - you do deserve a bone in some places - but at the end of the day it was just a pay off so that I would take your abuse. And I did. I was your punching bag. I want you gone. Forever. I never want to see your face agan or feel you or touch you or laugh with you. The last words i said were I love you. I want them to be the last words I ever say to you. KEEP AWAY - you dirty, stinking, parasite. The poison you have left in me is killing my spirit. I need it to get out of me - get out get out get out. I really really detest what you stand for. Go away forever.

[Pirouette]

At one point, I felt like we were meant to be together. Destined. I still kind of do. I never met a man like you before. So charismatic, dynamic, magnetic. I saw you working your charm on your new victims on Sunday. All sweetness and light. They don't know that it's just an act. That really you're dark, brooding, secretive, and manipulative. Who's the girl you were talking to? Is she someone you drink with, smoke weed with? Why do I even care? I'm over you, right?

 

I wish I had never acknowledged you. I should have kept walking by you without saying anything. I regret it, because I saw the validation in your eyes. It was quick, but I saw it. I don't want to validate your existence since you don't really care to validate mine. You don't care about my feelings, so I'm not sure why I care about being the "nice" one. You should be on your knees asking me for forgiveness and a second chance.

 

But truthfully, it gets easier every day as I think about what God may have saved me from. I have to remember that I have worth and value, and I am loveable. Even if you don't value me or love me. It's okay, because I know I am loveable. I am worthwhile. I am worth getting to know. Even if you don't think so.

[jahur]

you evil and nasty witch......... you get all you deserve!

[Tezza]

You have a small penis.

[biggestdork]

This isnt even worth it anymore

[jahur]

your evil and you lie, and if you should die, i may feel slightly sad but i wont cry!!!

[GrowingUp]

You broke my heart so many times I can't even believe it myself.

[OneBrightStar]

I'm getting over you ... it feels good.

 

Also, I have a date on Sunday with this amazingly HOT HOT HOT guy ... like, BEYOND hot.

[insecurefool]

I miss you so much.

[artistic1]

I dislike you so much. I don't want to say hate cause I hate no one but you are very close to that status. I wish I never knew you, you are a cruel person..W ut goes around comes back around,,, You deserve everything that you get... I hope you have a sad future,, that's what you deserve cause you are nothing....NOTHING! yOU ANd your empty eyes, YOU ARE SOUL-LESS!!!

[DeenasRhino]

I think I will be fine if I never see or talk to you again.

[okane24]

So it happens that YOU screw up and I get punished for it.

 

You've been cancelling on me three days straight now.

 

I am so sick and tired of your B*Sh*. I hate waiting around for you.

 

You NEVER put me first. Everything and everybody else is more important to you than me.

 

So apparently you can cancel on me but BE OK enough to go out with your friends until now. And you know we have to up early tomorrow morning.

 

What the h* is your problem?

 

I am starting to hate everything about you.

 

What do you do for me? When the H* have you ever put me first. When is the last time you went out of your way to do something to make me happy?????????????????

 

You're leaving in a few weeks and I'm almost glad its over.

 

You SELFISH Ba*****D.

[Psylocke960]

I never gave up on you but you gave up on me. I'm not a horrible person. I'm a good person that cares and will continue to care. I love you more than you will ever know. I was ready to make our future out there and start a new life, but I guess you didn't want that I promised you that I was ready to make a change. I mean that wholeheartedly. I was even hoping to propose to you once I got there.

 

I miss your smile, your laughter, your hugs, your wittiness, your handsome face...I just miss all of you. Whatever you're doing, I wish you all the best and happiness. I'm just really sad right now. I can't believe you're gone.

[jahur]

fwb???? no didnt think so...... oh no not I...dont ask!

[sunday2010]

I never gave up on you but you gave up on me. I'm not a horrible person. I'm a good person that cares and will continue to care. I love you more than you will ever know. I was ready to make our future out there and start a new life, but I guess you didn't want that I promised you that I was ready to make a change. I mean that wholeheartedly. I was even hoping to propose to you once I got there.

 

I miss your smile, your laughter, your hugs, your wittiness, your handsome face...I just miss all of you. Whatever you're doing, I wish you all the best and happiness. I'm just really sad right now. I can't believe you're gone.

 

Hey I really love your post.. sums up how i felt too.I'm 36 and female as well.I was reayd to make afuture with my ex too but he threw it all away after I moved my life to be with him.I miss his handsome face too hugs

 

I loved him more than he knew...why