J-L-T

Hey, P. Approx 8 months after break-up. And I find myself missing you so much these past few weeks. I guess it's because I have no other men for distraction. I went out with a couple after you, and didn't get to grieve you. Now here I am, all alone, and missing you like crazy. I miss our home, our kitten, I miss US. I wish I could tell you about what my last "ex" did to me. I wonder what you would do or say? I wonder if you ever think of me still? Do you ever miss me? Even for a little while? Do you hate me? You told me you didn't hate me when we first split up. You told me you'd miss me too. But then I saw you, and I freaked out, you seemed so mad at me. You never replied to my last few attempts of contact. I don't even know how long ago it's been since I text you. It must be at least 4 monthsish. I want to. I want to talk to you, I want to hear your voice again. But I know you probably won't even answer. And even if you did, it wouldn't get me anywhere. Yet I'm still wondering if there's anything I could possibly say. Anything that would click deep inside you, and make you realise you still love me. I don't forgive myself for effin' it up with you. Ok, I didn't mean to, it was my mental health. But I still effed it up. You were the best thing to happen to me. Do you have a girlfriend now? Is she better than me? Will you be with someone for Valentines day? Sigh. I keep thinking about when we broke up. How we cried together. How we hugged for the last time, and I never wanted to let you go. I felt stuck. Literally stuck. Like I couldn't move, because of the pain and fear. I told you it feels like my boyfriend has just died. And it's true, it does. I grieve you as if you had died. But I know you're out there somewhere really. I would do anything to have you back, baby. I'm sorry I wasn't what you thought/hoped I would be. I do still love you.

Man, I miss you so much. I love you. I'm really hurting right now.

Day almost 7. Missing him a lot tonight.

Oh maann. One of those nights where I'm reeeaalllyy missing you. So much that it hurts. I just keep seeing times we spent play in my head. It's playing like a goddamn video. Should it really be hurting this much? It's not like we were together years! But I honestly feel I've lost someone/thing special. You really did something to me deep inside, you really crawled under my skin. You're really hard to get over. I just want to get back with you! Why did you randomly unblock me on Facebook yesterday? And my friend? But not even say anything, and didn't respond to my last contact 6 days ago? It's strange, I don't get it. I'm still in love with you, dude.

Thanks for caring enough to see how I'm doing ....... not.

Day 4. It's getting a bit easier not to contact him. I still really miss him though. It's just that the contact got me nowhere.

Day 2. Wish he would contact me!

I remember a text you sent me not long before the split. "Thank you for being so amazing What that just changed did it? *sigh*

Back to day 1. I'll probably respond to his contact (if any). But no initiating this time. Sucks already.

Crap, I hate missing you like this. Just come back to me, or get out of my head!

I'm glad it's not being closed! A story I got told earlier: They were together a few months at first. Then he ended it, because he "wasn't sure what he wanted out of life" She begged him at first, and blew up his phone. He said this lasted about 2 weeks. He would tell her politely a few times "I can't be with you, please stop contacting me so much. If you want contact, it has to be as friends only" One day she just stopped. He told me he felt RELIEVED she had gone. He felt like he could breathe once again. He enjoyed his space and etc. Then after a few weeks he started feeling lonely. He started wondering about her, was she dating etc. He said he wasn't sure wether to contact her or not. He put it off for a few weeks, and then gave in. He called but she didn't answer. The next day she called him back, asking what he wanted. He asked how she was getting on, and told her he missed her. She said she was ok, but was missing him too. He asked her to meet and they had a chat. They got back together that night. Fastforward a few months, and they split up AGAIN. This time it was the girlfriend. They had an argument, and she said she wanted out. They didn't talk for 3 months. Neither contacted the other in those months. Then one ngiht they accidently ended up in the same pub. They were civil to eacother and made small talk. The next day the girl called the guy, said she was sorry for how harsh she was in the break-up. He said he forgived her and would like to remain friends. They remained friends for about 4 months. Then one night they ended up sleeping with eachother. He asked her for another chance, she said okay. A rocky start! But 6 years later they are going strong. Married with 2 children, and 1 on the way.

I miss you, contact me!!!

Thought I'd add a few stories: My sister's husband got scared after a few months, and "ran off" He has Bipolar, and think that was some of it. My sister was sad, but said okay, take care etc. After a couple of weeks, he came back saying he was sorry. They've now been married around 4 years, and have two children together. He's also like a second father to her children from a previous marriage. They honestly have one of the best relationships I've ever seen. They're one of those couples that are just perfect for each other. My mum got with a man after my mum and dad split. They were together 5 years. He was totally smitten over her, and acted real needy, and hoenstly pathetic. She ended up breaking up with him. After a couple of years, they got back in contact as friends. He was still telling her he loves her though. My mum dated a few other jerks. He was always there for her, and she kinda leaned on him. He did end up dating a couple of other women, but nothing really came of it. 13 YEARS LATER, my mum got back with him, they moved in together. It doesn't have a happy ending though. He suddenly changed, and was pretty negleted her. It's like once he had her again, he didn't care. She ended up breaking it off again, around a yearish later. She's now dating someone else, and she talks every once ina while with the ex, but nothing much. But he had the chance with her after all those years. My cousin was with his girlfriend 2 years. She ended it after a few months of being at Uni. She found the distance too hard. He remained in contact, texting each other once or twice a week. He asked for her back a few times, but she would say no. That she just wanted to be friends now. But after a few months, she said she realised she missed him. She said she;d rather be in a LDR, than not with him at all. 2 years on their together and seemingly very happy. My friend broke up with her boyfriend of 7 months. He kept flirting wiht other girls, and she had enough of it. They had NC for a few months, he wouldn't take any blame. But one day he called, and said how sorry he was etc. she decided to give him another chance. 6 months later they are living together. Another friend got dumped by her boy after 3 years. He said he didn't know what he wanted anymore. She was heart-broken, but went NC on him. Every now and then he would tet, or call her. She would ignore it, because she was so hurt and mad. Then he just stopped contacting her. She still missed and loved him during this time. She said the negatives were fading away. She found herself replaying all the good times, and missed him more and more. She called him, and told him she missed him. He said he missed her too, and he's sorry. They met up that evening, and got back together. 1 1/2 years later they're living together, and she is pregnant. I'm sure their are plenty more. It actually happens a hell of a lot.

Ugggghhh, I miss you, T. Please just contact me.

Day 5. I'm suprised I even made it this long! One minute I'm okay, the next I have a strong urge to contact him.

Well, it's friday night. I wonder what youre doing? While I'm thinking about you. I have it in my head for some reason, you will have a few drinks then contact me. I dunno why...

Haaaarrdd right now. Urges.

Do you miss me at all? Do you wish we could talk? Do you get the urge to contact me? Do you second guess your choice at all? Are you suprised I haven't contacted you in the last few days, since you said that's best?

Day 4 I just really want to talk to him TBH. Sucks.

I didn't! Thank you.

Someone stop me from contacting him, please!

I just want to speak to you.

I hope you'll regret letting me go.

Day 3 I wonder if he expects me to carry on contacting him. Eventhough I said I wouldn't. Probably. That feels kinda good that I haven't.