Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Ding]

I moved house two times for you. I worked a * * * * e job for the last 15 months to afford to pay rent to live closer to you. I stayed over at your house even if it meant having to get up half an hour earlier in the mornings to go to mine and get changed for work. I put the time in. You hardly ever came over to mine. I invited you to do things with me. I got you enrolled at the gym. I opened your eyes to new hobbies. I cooked gorgeous food for you. I put up with your * * * * * sister and her constant silent treatment and hostility. I was patient with you even though sex took you over an hour - even when I had to be up early for work. I put up with your arrogant, boastful father while he sat and gave me a monlogue on the new sofa/car/tv/cmputer/games system/blu ray player/holiday etc. etc. every single time I visited. AND THEN YOU HAVE A GO AT ME FOR MAKING YOU SIT THROUGH THE MOVIE 2012??!?!?!? SO what it was a bad movie!!!! It was 2 hours of your life and you kept bringing it up every time we bickered!!!!! I sat through so many awful awful films with you. Whenever i suggest doing something I want to do its me 'pushing my hobbies onto you' - well please tell me, what hobbies do you ahve besides F******* xbox!?!? excuse me if I don't want to sit around while you play ridiculous games for 7 hours a day.

 

Your Xbox 360 was the third wheel in our relationship. I hope you'll now be very happy together.

 

I am so ANGRY at you.

 

But also angry at myself most of all because I let alot of these things build up inside me and I didn't voice them because I'm not a confrontational person, and I should have been. I should have communicated a hell of a lot better and I'm very upset that I didn't. Our issues could have been worked through with talking. But I seriously had lost the will to try or carry on. I had grown to resent you. And I can't blame you for that. I blame myself because I let annoyances fester inside me until them became ridiculously proportioned and I was crying all day everyday and couldnt take it anymore and broke up with you. I am a timid, shy person inside who doesnt like to rock the boat. And in the end it rocked the boat far harder for me in the long run because I made myself so miserable.

 

I made my mistakes and will learn from them. I'm just sorry that you are the person in my life I had to make my mistakes on. You are so devastatingly handsome and I am seriously attracted to you still. You are the most handsome guy I know. And it SUCKS that you're not here. I miss every tiny part of you. LIFE IS A JOKE.

 

And you havent even contacted me once. Two years and thats it. I know you are doing it the healthy way, and i knw that NC is good and healthy. But man....there was nothing from you. You walked out and didnt look back after I ended it. You didnt ask me why. You havent contacted me at all since. And i know I broke up with you so I should accept it. But I'm crying. And it hurts so bad. And just because I broke up with you it doesnt make it any easier to live with. I dream happy dreams about you every night. I wish to god things had been different. I am a wasted soul.

[Beachandsurf]

Happy Birthday John

[WomanWriter]

Your mom wrote me a heartfelt letter today, L. Made me cry. I looked at your recent pics and got tears in my eyes. Of all the things I've done and complained about, you are the one in my heart. You did right by leaving me. I'm not in a good place to be in a relationship, even though I am...with someone else. You probably deserve better. I hope you are with someone good, Lee, because even though I had problems with you, you are a good person with a good heart. You tried to love me for a long time. I blew it. I'm sorry. I love you, truly. I pray good things for you, even though you're not with me.

[FoundYet]

I miss you but am working on getting over you. I cried myself to sleep last night. I hope it was the last time. I cant let anymore tears fall for you, they hurt too much. I still and will always wish you well in all you do. Goodbye.

[coyote1980]

Please tell me there's a totally good reason why you aren't telling me the truth.

I miss you so much, and I still love you so much.

it's been a week, and my hope's fading, and El is visiting the office.

I know you went to her party. I'm going nuts.

I want my stuff back now....so much memories.

[kvb10]

A... i miss you so much. what can i do to bring you back? Why can't we give this thing another shot?

[Budgie]

How come you've suddenly started registering my existence again?

[holdingon]

I don’t know what to do anymore.

 

I gave you everything. You completely drained me. Its like you took everything you could get your hands on and ran off with it and now I feel so unbearably empty. I should have known that the pain would catch up with me eventually. I did everything I could to tell myself that I didn’t care because I couldn’t fall apart in front of them. This is really the first time I’ve actually stopped since it happened and maybe that’s why I cant avoid it anymore. There is little to distract me. But I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I was numb the night you left and I couldn’t think or function and they were almost beside themselves. How could I tell them. How could I put them through that. They already had so much to deal with. So started the process of denial. Denial that I was in pain and I’d lost the most important person in my life. You can’t shut that kind of emotion out without being affected by it. It was a huge mistake.

 

They are such beautiful people, and I think our relationship took that understanding from me. In my mind they never measured up, they were never you. They loved me and they cared for me but they weren’t in your league. No-one was. I was so dependant on you. I had my life and I had friends and family and I kept myself busy but it was all to fill in time until I could be with you. That’s not living. This, what I’m doing now, isn’t living.

 

You were so worried about what was happening to me, more worried than I was about myself. I never really thought it would get out of hand, and it didn’t. If you could only see what was happening now babe. I really thought it was something that happened to other people and I denied it every time you bought it up. But I’m worried. I know its wrong, I know enough to know that it will only make things worse. But it is so in my control. Feels good. And feels disgusting at the same time.

 

I think sometimes I am too hard on myself. I expect myself to constantly be strong and have it together and know the answers. I go into survival mode and I feel like If show weakness or I cry then ill never stop.

 

So when you left I picked myself up and I tried not to look back. It only took one look at that amazing little girl and I knew I'd be okay. She turns one soon. She’s so beautiful. She’s saved me so much the last couple of months, I don’t know what I’d do without her.

 

I think I just understood. This is bigger than the break-up. Its bigger than a few hurtful words from you. This is literally pain from the beginning of 2007. I’m sorry that I couldn’t forgive you. I’m sorry that I acted like a child. I’m sorry I didn’t end it sooner. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough. I’m sorry I ignored you. I’m sorry I couldn’t love you enough to make it work.

 

I just had to rush outside then and I stopped for a second and actually looked at what was in front of me and I literally caught my breath. It was raining and foggy down the valley and it was so pretty. Then I remembered its something we used to talk about together, and how much it helped me through some of our worst fights. And I started crying. Why does life have to be this way. Everything reminds me of you, everything is overshadowed with your memory. I got rid of everything that was yours except for the jumper and the necklace. They’re not anywhere I can see them but I know that if I need to feel close to you I can get them out.

 

I love you. But I hate you. I hate you for lying to me about being together forever, through everything. I hate you for this pain in my chest. I hate you for turning me into someone I despised. I hate you for taking my control. But I love you, for loving me. And I don’t want to stop loving you back, even if it comes with some sadness. Everything you said and did might not have been right for me, but I know it my heart that it was done in love. That night when he did what he did, was one of the hardest nights of my life. But I knew that you would understand. You were the first person that I ran to. You had such patience that night, you always did. I think that was a big turning point. Everything changed that night. I wasn’t a little girl anymore, and I knew that that part of my life would never be the same again. But something beautiful came out of it. This trust between us, this bond. Its still there you know, its like this invisible line that connects you to me wherever I go. Sometimes I wish I could break it and be free, sometimes I feel like its teaching me and guiding me. I know it wont be there forever so I guess I’m trying to keep it safe. Maybe that’s why I’m finding it so hard to let go. It was so special to me, I don’t want that to end. I wish I could take it with me and I wish I could leave it behind at the same time.

[WomanWriter]

Oh man, what have I become? Have I become the kind of person I despise? I think I have...

 

What am I doing? I have gone backwards. I hope I am only temporarily insane.

 

Lee, let me face it. I'm not completely over you. I am using my new boyfriend as a rebound. I liked him, at first. I mean, I was attracted to him. But I'm not ready for this. I think I'm staying with him to save face. It will be humiliating to change my FB status back to single so that you can find out it didn't work out with my new guy. Yet you are still with your new girl. It will make it look like I lost and I'm afraid I'll look even worse in your eyes because this "relationship" didn't even last a month.

 

I guess it doesn't even matter if I lose, it's just that I still care about what you think, and feel like you will like me even less if I'm available. Maybe I thought having a boyfriend earned back some respect. I know that sounds completely immature. It is. Certainly. I would agree with that!

 

What am I going to do? I have plans to see B tonight and he's really the last person I want to see. I have so much class work to complete and my best girlfriends are starting to get upset that I've been ignoring them. Why am I going to see B so I can just let him waste my time by rambling about how wonderful he is? I could have just gone to my dad's in that case.

 

But B wrote me this "sweet" email today about how happy he was to talk to me last night. He said he was "sorry" for "not thinking about [me]" and that he would "try to think about [me]" instead of talking about himself. That is not the point but he is too dense to understand. The point is that he's self-centered and immature. Yeah, so am I, so we don't need to be in a relationship.

 

I need to go back and work on myself again like I did when you broke up with me Lee. When I *am* ready for a relationship, I hope I find someoen like you again. It was good with us for a long time. It got unhealthy at the end. Then, I went and got with this guy I would never dream of getting. What an adventure, Lee. I'd sure like to share it someday and hear all about yours!

 

No, this B is not who I want. He doesn't stimulate me mentally at all and I get tired of hearing his voice. That NEVER happened with you, not in 7 years. That's gotta tell me something...

 

OK, I guess I better go get ready to see B. I think I will have to break up with him tonight. I'm a bit scared about how to do it. He seems so giddy. Oh man. I hope I can be as kind as you were, although I was upset and felt you mislead me by saying you'd always love me. Does that still stand? Do you still love me? Man, I love you Lee. I wish we could still be in each other's lives, but I know I would not be good for you now anyway.

 

Maybe someday?

[cheeseboy]

Missing you today. Last night i wasn't bothered. but today i am again. I dreamed about you last night too. Only briefly. So clear now. I was an idiot. No, really i was. but come one. No ones cheated. You admitted you were happy. So whats the score. It's killing me trying to work it out. Ironically, this is the kick up the butt that probably would have sorted it out. Maybe it still will. I'll keep hoping, even though i need to be realistic. I'm sending you a letter tomorrow. Just to say the things i need to say last. To say sorry, and to maybe say goodbye - for now. I cant hold the hope much more. It's killing me. Everytime my phone goes, i think its you - i hope ist you - but it isn't. So i'm going to tell you how i feel. Then its up to you. But from that moment, it will be a difficult goodbye from me, but atelast i will feel in control again x

[hopelessincan]

so.....I went out with N last night...she thinks you're pretty messed up too. Caught her up on the last three months and all she could say was well its pretty obvious how much love is between you two. FYI: she thinks that whole xmas present thing is whacked.

 

So WHY are we still apart? Why have you not contacted me like you promised and begged? Do you really think that I am going to be waiting here for you forever?

 

Ive started seeing someone. Im afraid, very afraid. He knows about you. How bad is that? I know I probably shouldnt be, but Im supposed to move on right? The more time I spend with him, the more I like him..but on the opposite side, the more I realize how perfect you and I are for each other. There are already things with him that we differ on, that you and I were in sync with.

So why arent you out on the dating scene? Maybe that would make reality set in for me. Although for all i know now, maybe you are seeing someone. I havent heard from you in two weeks. Maybe thats why I havent heard from you. I hope a day comes soon where I no longer analyze you and I. its not helping me.

I am very anxious about seeing you tomorrow. Im sure I already know how its going to play out. I am going to ignore you, and you will be all over me again. thats the cycle right? Then I will be the one coming home depressed. Please come bac. We can work this out.

[Nshock]

This time last month we were away on our trip, with the same old magic flowing between us. Now you are just walking away from everything we had? I'm so hurt. I'm so sad. But most of all I wish I had seen this coming, two weeks ago you said you were going to fight for us, now you are packing up.

 

My heart is broken.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

I love you. I miss you. I know you love me and miss me too.

Please come home.

[ANewMe]

If it weren't for the fact that I sincerely have no desire to have any contact with you, I'd love for you to know that my getting over you is easier for me than you getting over me. That grass wasn't so green over there, was it? You know you screwed up beyond repair this time and the price your paying is losing someone who loved you for who you really are. And now you're stuck pretending to be someone you're not trying to replace me and that love. I always said you didn't appreciate me but you do now. Your actions since you ended things show guilt and much regret. My reaction: good. Now move on because I have.

[FoundYet]

Are we allowed to talk again?

[klynnd]

I cant do this anymore...i thought that this would be easier. Im sorry for hurting you. I dont want to hurt but this is how you hurt me...it doesnt feel good does it. I cant live in pain...i cant be unhappy. i deserve to be happy and i deserve to be loved for me. I know you love me but you cant make me happy anymore. I wish that wasnt the case. Ive never loved anyone like ive loved you these past three and a half years. You have no idea how bad it hurt me to leave you. I feel like it was the worst decision of my life. i feel like im going to die without you. I feel like i killed my best friend. Im sorry for everything. I dont know how to be my own person. You turned me into this person that i hate...

[klynnd]

I cant do this anymore...i thought that this would be easier. Im sorry for hurting you. I dont want to hurt but this is how you hurt me...it doesnt feel good does it. I cant live in pain...i cant be unhappy. i deserve to be happy and i deserve to be loved for me. I know you love me but you cant make me happy anymore. I wish that wasnt the case. Ive never loved anyone like ive loved you these past three and a half years. You have no idea how bad it hurt me to leave you. I feel like it was the worst decision of my life. i feel like im going to die without you. I feel like i killed my best friend. Im sorry for everything. I dont know how to be my own person. You turned me into this person that i hate...

[cranberryjuice]

Since the day you walked into my life you made everything bright again. You saved me from a very dark place in my life and were wonderful with me.

I know I got paranoid and I know I didn't do things or go about things in the right way all the time. But one thing has never changed, is how I feel about you.

 

I know I'm difficult and I know I'm a bit strange sometimes (with the music I listen to and the stuff I watch on tv!! haha) but I wish you could just think back to the wonderful memories we do have and remember why we fell in love and come home!

 

I love you and I always will.

[kate2660]

how is life now? i hope it's what you wanted. i hope getting arrested and her biting you made you feel like you were in a great relationship. you two belong on COPS. I wish I was able to see you both taken away in cuffs and thrown in the back of a cop car. Who does those things? You are now with a psychopath that will get you into trouble. And you say you want to save her? Have fun with that. You are just as nuts as she is. You are dating your mother it seems! You hated that I didn't like your mother. Now, how do you feel about her? I knew she was trash. She lied to you for 29 years about who your father was! I was right about her! She's nuts and I'm sorry that she passed on her way of living onto you. You had everything with me and my family. Our family loved you, supported you, and were your biggest cheerleaders even through all of your failures and stupid ideas. Yes, you are bipolar! Your mood swings are too much for anyone to handle and you never follow through with anything. How much money did you waste on pot? And you never paid me back. I was stupid enough to help you with your bills and now I'm in debt. I still owe on my engagement ring. Thanks for that. Thanks for leaving me in the dark and abandoning me. I am no longer sad. I am happy. Happy to be without you and to be with someone who actually is stable and loving. He understands what love is. You will be miserable with her. Have fun.

 

ps. you owe me 600$ for rent you walked out on.

[coyote1980]

on my bday, no msgs. no calls. no texts from u.

i guess it's really over, isn't it? u couldn't come up with any excuses.

i trusted you all this time for 2years. i understand now why u were being so

controlling and jealous. u were the one whod been doing things behind my back.

why would anyone like that trust other people right?

i know why u weren't supportive of my illness.

u weren't that into me. u lied to me about ur feelings.

u blamed everything on me while i did everything right.

u were the one who screwed everything up.

 

i was right all this time. thank you for making me think

i was selfish, immature, insecure, liar, controlling, jealous, weak, have low self-esteem,

no dream, no will to do anything, short tempered, messy, stubborn, not affectionate

and all the other things u said.

for 2 years, i thought i was all those things u said, and i believed it.

 

i was none of those. i was trying my hardest to be some perfect angel

u were dreaming of that wouldn't exist in this world. no one is perfect, u weren't even close to being a normal human being, yet u expected me more than anyone can expect from anyone in this whole damn world.

 

u were demanding, selfish, needy, liar, insecure, liar, jealous, immature, liar, controlling, stubborn, short tempered, liar, messy, no emotion, oh and did i mention liar?

 

i will get over you someday, but you will live with regrets forever.

i learned from my experience, and i will never ever date anyone

who will ask impossibles from me. i am me, and no one can change who i am.

i am a good person. i know who i am now. thank u for reminding me

that im capable of absorbing negatives and turn em into positives.

[cheeseboy]

I see you in a different light today. I did a lot for you.You did a lot for me too. But to break up by a text message, cut me off. Keep me hanging for two weeks. Refuse to answer my calls after 3 years. Spend christmas and go on a great holiday with me 2 days before - make your mind up here. You refuse to see me. Am i going to have to come and get my stuff because you cant face me? You broke up with me. Why do i need to chase you to sort things out.

 

I had problems which you knew, and we tried. But this time you give up and stop talking to me. Im sure you've not forgotten. But atleast say thanks. Recognise we did have some great times and it just didnt work. I hope one day you realise this is the hardest bit for me to grasp

[headwreck]

I miss you....

[1guygirl]

i so wanna tell you how much i love you, even if i never hear from you ever again....

 

i wanna thank you for all those really thoughtful gifts you gave me, the way you wrote in my diary, really trying to help me heal so we could just be...you are amazing for that

 

i am sorry for my s*** i am really, and truly...but you did trigger them aswell, but i understand, that may have been out of your own insecurities ??

 

just them two parts of our nature combined makes for hell and i dont wanna hurt you or tie such a loving soul down - thats why i can let you go in love and without bitterness, tho with much sadness

 

in the meantime i am gunna work on me, do my creative hobby, rebuild my self worth and get sorted. i dont know if ever these scars will fade enough, that abusive narcissist done much damage. if you could see my emotional scars i would look like id been flogged a thousand lashes.

 

but i will try, for me first, and for you

 

dont do nc for too long now will you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[amabel196]

You really do hate me don't you Ricky?

 

I find it tremendously sad that things have turned out the way they have. I hope she makes you happy, and I hope you learn to be a decent boyfriend.

 

Of course, I still miss you every second of the day, but it's slowly becoming better. I burnt all of our photos and cards we gave to each other and that your family gave to me, and that ticket stub from Taste of Chaos.

 

I don't regret burning it really.. I regret you leaving though. I regret not saying anything when you asked for a reason to stay. It was the worst mistake of my life so far.

 

You should probably fix yourself up a bit too Ikky, you're really letting yourself go. Quit the booze and have a shave.

 

And if your girlfriend ever pulls that stunt again where she tried to hit my car, I will be pretty pissed off.

 

Good luck with your new relationship with her. I hope she makes you happy.

Not that you deserve it.

[tina-rocks]

The love I feel for you can fill all the oceans of this world, and if you had only stayed you would have seen this. I understand finally what love should be and how another person can complete the part of you that's missing, for when it comes it holds such beauty, and therefore when it's gone can be the hardest to bare.

 

My heart is in pieces, I am torn from the inside out by your leaving me the way you did, but despite my pain you are still my love. My heart belongs to you and I will take this with me when my time comes, for it knows no bounds and will be with me from this life into the next.

 

I love you.