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Underage porn...my boyfriend seems to like it.


Lyrisae

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Hello all. Let me first preface this post by saying that I do not mind porn and enjoy it myself ocassionally, that I have known my boyfriend watches porn since the beginning of our relationship, and that sometimes we even like watching it together. We've also been together for a little bit over a year and a half now.

 

He has a HUGE butt fetish. Show him a picture of a girl in panties and he turns into a hound dog. His favorite type of "porn" to watch (if you can truly even call it that) is of girls dancing around in their panties in front of webcams.

 

That alone, I wouldn't mind. What bothers me, though, is that some of the girls in his videos look very young. Probably around fifteen-sixteen. Definetely not legal. He gets many of these videos from sites like Youtube, where they have no age verification to ensure that these girls are over eighteen.

 

I've brought this issue up to him before in the past, telling him that I was concerned he was possibly watching underage girls dance around in panties. He claimed to not realize they were that young, and says he is a "bad judge of age". Together, he and I sat down and went through his videos, deleting the ones where the girls looked very young. I also asked him for future reference to get his porn videos from reputable sites where there is age verification of the women featured. He agreed, seeming very ashamed of himself.

 

Now, two months later, I notice that once more he has gone to Youtube and downloaded about ten or so videos, of girls dancing around in panties. And once again, they all look extremely young.

 

I know that most men get into the "barely legal" look, but I would prefer the girls he's masturbating over to actually BE legal. Knowing that he's watching these fifteen or sixteen year old girls makes me feel sick. They're children.

 

Should I bring up the issue to him once again? Or am I making a fuss over nothing? I need some input from others, please. Thanks for any advice.

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I would have the same reaction as you're having. Discuss it with him again from a legal standpoint (he could possibly get in legal trouble if these were found on his computer)....while that's probably not "likely", it might sink in a little more than the fact that it bothers you.

I'd be extra concerned since you had the chat about it and he's continued with it anyway. Hiding it and the fact that they're (probably) underage, suggests a bigger problem.

Let us know what happens.

Best wishes.

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Thanks for the replies so far. The thing is, I already have discussed the legal ramifications with him, the first time this happened. I let him know that what he had on his computer can constitute as child pornography and that he could potentially get into trouble with the law for having it.

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My boyfriend is 21, almost 22. The same age as me.

 

I've also just found, in his history, a live webcam site where you can go to watch girls strip and such while you talk to them. This is NOT okay. I was always afraid that his like of watching pre-recorded vids of girls dancing around on webcams would eventually translate into him going onto webcam chatting sites with girls. IMO, this is cheating. I am so upset right now. I don't know what to do. =(

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ok, at 21, these girls on the webcam are only 5-6 years younger than him. which i can understand him watching.

 

these sites cost money. how is he paying for membership to watch these girls strip?

 

while i'm not against porn at all, i would find it creepy if my bf was watching porn with women under 18. they are not adults.

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So, you know that talking to him doesn't work and you know that:

1. Underage girls = trouble

2. talking to stripping girls on webcam = cheating

3. your conversation didn't impact him the way you'd hoped

4. he's hiding these videos/this information which indicates an unhealthy habit

Are all of those things added up a deal breaker for you??

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I'm afraid I agree with you that it is cheating. So now it's your call, really. Either one of the things you've mentioned would be a red flag - together, well - for me they would spell the end but it's your call. Keep talking to us about it and we'll be here. x

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I agree that 5 or so years younger isn't creepy in and of itself....however, since they are not legal and it is therfore illegal to watch them/chat with them about sex, etc..... I keep thinking that there are THOUSANDS of websites/chatsites, etc. that have girls legal and over....he should be able to turn to those rather than flirt with this dangerous activity.

And that is putting aside the issue of the dishonesty, cheating, and so on, which can't be overlooked

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Well, we've talked about it before in the past. I was always afraid that his love of watching prerecorded webcam videos of girls stripping/dancing would eventually turn into a desire to watch them do it live, while he talks with them. And I asked him whether or not he would ever do that. He was like, "Oh no, of course not. That would just be weird." So he knows I would NOT be okay with it. And he did it anyway.

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I'm at his house right now, and he just left around an hour ago to go hang out with his cousin. After I found his history, I called his cell phone very upset and asked him to come home right away because I needed to talk to him. His reply was, "I just got here (to his cousin's house). I don't want to turn around and head back home." So now I'm just sitting up in his room waiting for him to get here so I can ask him what the hell happened. I'm so upset.

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I'm sorry that you're feeling this way right now. He is definitely crossing the line by what he is doing. Watching porn is one thing, but engaging in the live videos is another. The thing that bugs me even more is that rather than be willing to come home and work things out with you and see what is wrong, he is choosing to stay with his cousin. I'm sorry to say, but it doesn't seem as though he takes you as first priority.

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Do you HAVE to sit there? Have you any other place to go? Why let him call the shots here?

 

I am so sorry, you must feel sick to your stomach. But it's not like any of this is new - you have been waiting and giving him his chance - sounds like he blew it. I am sorry.

 

Oh - and read your sig while you're waiting... it's really good.

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I'm at his house right now, and he just left around an hour ago to go hang out with his cousin. After I found his history, I called his cell phone very upset and asked him to come home right away because I needed to talk to him. His reply was, "I just got here (to his cousin's house). I don't want to turn around and head back home." So now I'm just sitting up in his room waiting for him to get here so I can ask him what the hell happened. I'm so upset.

 

"If you don't come home now, I won't be here when you get back later."

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I am shaking right now...IMO, watching girls strip live, on webcam while you watch and talk with them, is definetely a form of cheating...right?

 

Yes, I think it's most definitely cheating. Then again, I think masterbating to porn by yourself while in a relationship is cheating, too, but whatever.

 

I have to say though, that I think the underage thing is really borderline, especially considering your bf's age. 18 is the age of consent in the US, but pretty much everywhere else it's 16. In other words, it's somewhat of an arbitrary number. The dirty, disgusting secret women don't like to hear is that the only reason a lot of responsible adult males wouldn't even think about having sex with a 16 or 17 YO is because they're jail-bat (i.e., it's illegal).

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I would just leave, but I live forty-five minutes from his house. So I couldn't just come back over later when he felt like talking. And until I confront him, I am going to be a bundle of nerves. =(

 

Why are you leaving the ball in his court? He is the one who is doing something wrong, and yet you are the one waiting for the right time that's more suitable for him. If he really wants to work things out with you, he can go see you. As far as waiting goes, I'm sorry but I would have left. What makes him so much better than you that you have to "wait" around? Besides, if he doesn't choose to take it as a priority - you are only playing second fiddle here.

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Just do what will give you the most comfort at this point. If you feel most comfortable getting it over with and closing the door TONIGHT, I say stay in the area. You could drive somewhere and get a cup of coffee or something. Go take a walk and try to collect yourself.

 

If you feel more comfortable texting him and saying for example "if you don't respect me enough to come now, then I don't feel the need to explain why I am leaving you."

 

Personally, the second would gut me so I would probably wait just to KNOW it was over.

 

But.. I would try not to hang around once he gets there. Say what you need to say and then leave.

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