Boughs Posted September 1, 2009 Author Share Posted September 1, 2009 She said she know she made a poor choice and was upset. She apologized. A friend of hers then posted a cropped photo of the night (excluding the guy that liked my gf and her friend) and I got confused and upset again. But I can't get upset at a cropped photo... even though it is odd. I think cropping him out just added mystery to the whole night to me... but perhaps I'm reading too deeply (I tend to overthink things to a point I begin to manifest things) She knows I am upset about it. I never get upset, Im almost always pretty docile... so her seeing me angry I think struck a bit of a chord. If she can't be with someone like me then we'll fight more, if I can't handle her judgement we'll fight more... and the end will be then. But this time I don't think is the deal breaker. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 You are certainly more forgiving than most people I know. Link to comment
DN Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Oh, come on. Cropping this guy out can only be because her friend knows what went on. I think she told you because her friend would have, or posted something like this photo. And the excuse about 'blacking out' is a cover for what really happened. Link to comment
Boughs Posted September 1, 2009 Author Share Posted September 1, 2009 Oh, come on. Cropping this guy out can only be because her friend knows what went on. I think she told you because her friend would have, or posted something like this photo. And the excuse about 'blacking out' is a cover for what really happened. Yeah, its how I felt. she said I was overdoing it by assuming that was the case. Her friend said it was because he was not completely in the photo... then it changed to he was too much in the foreground and made the photo look bad (cuz she wanted it to be just the girls). My gf denied it was cropped initally too... ugh. Link to comment
lady00 Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 So she lied about the photo and tried to shift blame to you for overracting? Nice. Link to comment
DN Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 If she lies about the photo then she could have lied about the happenings that night. She doesn't even lie convincingly - not by my estimation, anyway. Link to comment
Boughs Posted September 1, 2009 Author Share Posted September 1, 2009 i'm sparkin the fire again... we'll see what happens now... Link to comment
Boughs Posted September 1, 2009 Author Share Posted September 1, 2009 ESPECIALLY because she is the type of person to look at a photo after it was taken of her. So her saying "I don't think it was cropped" is just a slap in my face. Great, even after this whole convo, she denies seeing the photo again. Link to comment
lady00 Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 From the get-go her story has been very fishy. I'm not seeing any improvement. Only thing that makes me scratch my head and wonder is that you say she's always been honest and loyal. So, it's tough because it sounds like she's never given you reason to be suspicious before, correct? Link to comment
DN Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Perhaps she has been honest and loyal but it is hard to really know that given her recent behaviour. If you want to stay with her then I think you need to set some boundaries and getting drunk when out with friends and using extremely poor judgment would be one of them. So would lying. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 how did i skip this thread? who knows.... anyways, your gf is a liar. yeah, that would be cool with any girl that is dedicated to their bf. she would have gotten another cab to go home. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 I don't see the big deal. I think she was being honest and told you the truth. You said that she is truthful. I would let it go. Link to comment
Kalika Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 If she passed out, and her friend hooked up with one guy, what happened to the other guy? He just let her stay passed out in the bathroom while his buddy and your girl's friend hooked up?! That makes no sense. I think it's very possible that your girlfriend cheated on you and doesn't want to come out and say it. That would explain things a lot better than this story does. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 I don't see the big deal. I think she was being honest and told you the truth. You said that she is truthful. I would let it go. i wouldn't date a girl that ends up at some random guy's place. i don't care the circumstance. Link to comment
TheSmilingTurnip Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 It's also possible that something else could have happened that she's ashamed of. Maybe someone raped her while she was passed out and you sense dishonesty because she is very ashamed and doesn't want to tell anyone this. It's certainly a possibility when one is passed out in a stranger's bathroom. Basically, the bottom line is this - all you can do is make a decision - you want her or not? Make the decision then take actions to support it until and unless you wish to change your mind. Don't drive yourself crazy with worry. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 i wouldn't date a girl that ends up at some random guy's place. i don't care the circumstance. she was honest and wasn't alone at the guy's place. Link to comment
DN Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 she was honest and wasn't alone at the guy's place. Well, we don't know that she was entirely honest. And it seems she what she was honest about was preemptive since she knew her friend wouldn't keep her mouth shut. "Blacking out" is convenient to her story but, as someone else said, is a claim often made by people who don't want to admit what actually happened. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 she was honest and wasn't alone at the guy's place. i don't care, i date girls that don't get in these situations. she was going with her friends as a wingman? Link to comment
happyfrank Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 i don't care, i date girls that don't get in these situations. she was going with her friends as a wingman? She was drunk and hanging out with friends. You don't expect her friends to leave her alone. Link to comment
lady00 Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 She was drunk and hanging out with friends. You don't expect her friends to leave her alone. I would expect her to tell her friends that she was not comfortable going to some strange guys' place and try to convince her friends that it probably wasn't a good idea. If her friends insisted on going anyway, then they'd be on their own. Link to comment
DN Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 She was drunk and hanging out with friends. You don't expect her friends to leave her alone.She was sober enough to say "No, I want to go home", refuse to enter the house and ask the taxi-driver to take her to her own home. Why is it that someone is not held accountable if they make decisions like this because they are drunk but if they make a decision to get in their car and drive they are hauled off to jail and charged with a dui? No one can get away with saying to a judge "I was driving drunk because I was too drunk to decide not to". Link to comment
ghost69 Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 I would expect her to tell her friends that she was not comfortable going to some strange guys' place and try to convince her friends that it probably wasn't a good idea. If her friends insisted on going anyway, then they'd be on their own. She was sober enough to say "No, I want to go home", refuse to enter the house and ask the taxi-driver to take her to her own home. Why is it that someone is not held accountable if they make decisions like this because they are drunk but if they make a decision to get in their car and drive they are hauled off to jail and charged with a dui? No one can get away with saying to a judge "I was driving drunk because I was too drunk to decide not to". exactly. they could have taken the cab by her place and let her out. some random guys jump into a cab with them? no girl of mine would have ever done that. she'd be 86ed from my life. Link to comment
servedcold Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 I think you made the right decision, but never let something like that slide again. In fact, I'd ban her from going out with those particular girls ever again unless you are along, and if she complains, then break up. Use the leverage while you have it, maybe not as extreme as I suggest, but you do not want your GF hanging with these particular women going forward. If she is telling the truth, they have no respect for her, you or your relationship whatsoever and you don't want those types around. Link to comment
TheSmilingTurnip Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 In fact, I'd ban her from going out with those particular girls ever again unless you are along, and if she complains, then break up. ...you do not want your GF hanging with these particular women going forward. If she is telling the truth, they have no respect for her, you or your relationship whatsoever and you don't want those types around. There is something missing in this reasoning. Like the fact that OP is not the girlfriend's dad. You can't ban your partner from going out with anyone. You can only say what you are uncomfortable with and leave it to them to decide. Next, you can decide based on their decision what you're willing to accept. Link to comment
servedcold Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 You can't ban your partner from going out with anyone. "Go out with X or Y at night without me again and we are through." See? easy-breezy. Link to comment
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