Soprano Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I'm wondering if anyone has had this happen to them after the ending of a relationship. I'm assuming it's pretty common. Basically, I'm not interested in any relationship right now, but instead I'm just looking to have fun, one night stands, etc. I'm at a point where I don't really care if I hurt someone, as long as I get what I want, because following the breakup, what I need is the most important. Don't get me wrong, if the right girl came along I wouldn't blow the chance, but right now I just feel like being well Charlie Harper lol. Anyone else feel the same? PS: Charlie Harper is from Two and a Half Men if you do not know. Link to comment
Rob1000 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Haha!! I would love to be as free and easy (and as wealthy) as Charlie Harper!! I love that show. Link to comment
HealingHandsWarmHeart Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 well you can go after what you want .. and not be hurtful. If you tell people upfront that you are not looking for a relationship and you just want to have "fun" - then they are informed know what they are getting into. just don't lead people on - otherwise have fun..lol Link to comment
djcom80429770 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Soprano....I was exactly like him after my first serious relationship ended after 3yrs..I even remember thinking "i did everything I could, and this is what i get" screw that Im going to cause the same hurt im feeling, and just not care....and I just shut down..yeah i said if i found someone then something could happen, but IM telling you, its pointless..you will come accross amazing people, and they will only be destroyed in your path..Some girls could possibly be the one, but you wont see it because your going to be to "robotic"..im not bashing your thoughts because like I said, I was that guy..burned by someone so screw the rest..but in the end its beyond not worth it..not only will it hurt others, but its a VERY hard way of living to reverse..thats my 2 cents Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Hmmm.... It sounds like you are so emotionally out of it that you are experiencing lack of feelings. You are heartbroken, OP, which is normal after a break up of a long term relationship. Just be upfront to people about what you want and don't go around hurting people. Remember, people who hurt others are the ones who are hurt themselves. Link to comment
sparkles4 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I've always been like this. I don't like relationships, but like having fun and being intimate with people. There's nothing wrong with it, as long as you're honest with people from the beginning about what you're looking for. Link to comment
Soprano Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 Hmmm.... It sounds like you are so emotionally out of it that you are experiencing lack of feelings. You are heartbroken, OP, which is normal after a break up of a long term relationship. Just be upfront to people about what you want and don't go around hurting people. Remember, people who hurt others are the ones who are hurt themselves. I'm not heartbroken, it's just I'm not caring about other peoples emotions right now as much as my own. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I'm not heartbroken, it's just I'm not caring about other peoples emotions right now as much as my own. Tell me something... How long ago was the break up, and how long were you together with the ex? Link to comment
Soprano Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 Tell me something... How long ago was the break up, and how long were you together with the ex? The breakup was like May 24th ish I think. We were together for about 5 months. I didn't love her, and for the last month I was pretty out of it. I was hesitant to get into it in the beginning as well, although I don't regret the relationship at all. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 The breakup was like May 24th ish I think. We were together for about 5 months. I didn't love her, and for the last month I was pretty out of it. I was hesitant to get into it in the beginning as well, although I don't regret the relationship at all. Mmmhmm... There could be some underlying issues you are suffering due to fact that you don't care if you hurt someone else's feelings. That kind of behavior is that of a sociopath, you know that, right? Perhaps some therapy could help you out. I'm not being mean here, cause I do go to therapy sessions (I have severe depression), I'm just saying you not giving a crap about peoples' feelings is a cause for concern. Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 i think as long as you are upfront about your intentions, then do what you want. if you tell a girl, 'i just got out of a relationship, and i am not looking for another one, just some fun.' well, then the women have been warned! Link to comment
Soprano Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 Mmmhmm... There could be some underlying issues you are suffering due to fact that you don't care if you hurt someone else's feelings. That kind of behavior is that of a sociopath, you know that, right? Perhaps some therapy could help you out. I'm not being mean here, cause I do go to therapy sessions (I have severe depression), I'm just saying you not giving a crap about peoples' feelings is a cause for concern. I see what you're saying, but this is just how I'm feeling now. I haven't hurt anyone yet, Im just feeling like I wouldn't care if I did. If it actually happens though who knows how I'll react. Link to comment
Soprano Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 i think as long as you are upfront about your intentions, then do what you want. if you tell a girl, 'i just got out of a relationship, and i am not looking for another one, just some fun.' well, then the women have been warned! Lol, but you might as well say goodbye to your chances then Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 eh, i know lots of women who aren't looking for anything serious either.... Link to comment
Soprano Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 eh, i know lots of women who aren't looking for anything serious either.... I guess, but saying like "Hey Im Soprano, I dont want a relationship, Im just looking for some action ok?" isn't exactly the best opener aha. Link to comment
HealingHandsWarmHeart Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Lol, but you might as well say goodbye to your chances then not true.. he may run into someone who is in the same place as he is right now. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I see what you're saying, but this is just how I'm feeling now. I haven't hurt anyone yet, Im just feeling like I wouldn't care if I did. If it actually happens though who knows how I'll react. Yeah, I hear you. Well, as long as you're open and honest, it's fine. There are plenty of girls who are looking for no-strings action as well, so have fun and b safe. Link to comment
djcom80429770 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I'm just looking to have fun, one night stands, etc. I'm at a point where I don't really care if I hurt someone, as long as I get what I want, because following the breakup, what I need is the most important. not a hit to soprano or to the rest of folks here, but i think saying as long as your honest about what you want, kinda goes against what he is saying..i dont see him being honest to be something he's to concerned about..thus him saying he doesnt care at this point and as long as he gets what he wants..totally negating the other persons wishes, or thoughts..again thats my opinion Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Well, exactly. ^ And just cause you are presently feeling this vibe, doesn't mean you should act on it. I felt it in little bouts after my last serious break up. So I chose not to date during that time - and just focus on what I really needed. It wasn't sex, and it wasn't to use someone. Maybe you'll find the same. Exercising a type of selfish power over others, well, it has its consequences if you do chose to follow through on it. Link to comment
Soprano Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 Well, exactly. ^ And just cause you are presently feeling this vibe, doesn't mean you should act on it. I felt it in little bouts after my last serious break up. So I chose not to date during that time - and just focus on what I really needed. It wasn't sex, and it wasn't to use someone. Maybe you'll find the same. Exercising a type of selfish power over others, well, it has its consequences if you do chose to follow through on it. Yeha, but I want to see what life is like being a "player" or less monogamous person I guess. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Yeha, but I want to see what life is like being a "player" or less monogamous person I guess. There are lots of threads here of guys who came out of a "disappointing" relationship that ended, and then went that way. Link to comment
Soprano Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 There are lots of threads here of guys who came out of a "disappointing" relationship that ended, and then went that way. Everyone tells me I don't need a girlfriend this young anyways so.. Maybe they're right? Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 What do you think? There's nothing saying you have to have a gf. If you want to date around, be free to do as you choose, that's up to you. The only objection I have is going the extreme route of becoming a playa or one of those people who has no regard for other people's feelings. There is a way to be single and spend time with different women without lying, cheating, and that kind of bad stuff. That's the thing I think no one really wants to encourage you to go - - like I said, there's threads here of people who did that, and to be honest, it didn't seem to make them any happier. More jaded and bitter if anything. Just keep it clean and have fun. cheers. Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 You'd be surprised how many women, on hearing 'I just want to have fun right now' will interpret it as 'make me love you, I'm a challenge'. Trust me, being honest will not lose you any chances to raid a girls panty piggybank. In fact if they think you're being honest they'll like you even more, despite your honesty meaning you've categorically stated you don't want a girlfriend. Do what you feel like but bear in mind, we all have feelings and even if yours have shut down, your one night stand isn't always someone in the same mindset. Be kind but firm, and make yourself clear. After that, it's up to them to decide if you stay the night or not. Link to comment
Soprano Posted August 14, 2009 Author Share Posted August 14, 2009 You'd be surprised how many women, on hearing 'I just want to have fun right now' will interpret it as 'make me love you, I'm a challenge'. Trust me, being honest will not lose you any chances to raid a girls panty piggybank. In fact if they think you're being honest they'll like you even more, despite your honesty meaning you've categorically stated you don't want a girlfriend. Do what you feel like but bear in mind, we all have feelings and even if yours have shut down, your one night stand isn't always someone in the same mindset. Be kind but firm, and make yourself clear. After that, it's up to them to decide if you stay the night or not. That's very true actually, girls love a challenge, and trying to "fix" guys aha. Thanks for the advice. Link to comment
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