Broken312 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 We were together for almost 5 years, broken up 2 months. He is also seeing someone else now. I was the one to initiate the call last night and ended up going over, having sex and sleeping over. We talked in the morning and he said that he needs some time to think about things. The girl he is seeing is a total tramp and has been with pretty much every guy at his job. She also just spent some time in jail for selling drugs (I think that was it) and she is just a total joke. All the guys at his job used to make fun of her so I am not really that threated by her. It still disgusts me to think that he was with her. My ex has a lot of money so I know she thinks she can just weezle her way in and have it made. He also has been mad at me after the break up and I'm sure the second she showed him any attention he jumped all over it. What bothers me even more is this girl has NO CLASS! She was coming over and sleeping with him when all of my pictures are still on the walls and my clothes are still in the closet. What type of girl does that??? She is scum!! Well he asked for space and time to think about things. I want him back more than anything but I still told him that I love him too much to share him so he needs to make a decision soon. For years I was the "girl he was going to marry" so I made it every clear to him that I am not just a booty call and he has to treat me with respect. He promised he would call me. Last night was really good... we kissed, cuddled, had a great time. It felt like I haven't been gone 2 months. It was nice sleeping in our old bed. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I just needed to vent. I am so embarrassed by what I did. He did admit that he misses me sometimes when he comes home to an empty house and he was very kissy, touchy and gentle with me. Should I just back off and let him call me? I have made things worse in the past because I kept calling and pushing but I just feel so helpless. Any ideas??? Link to comment
WindowTo Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 It is very common for dumpers to do this, they are going through intimacy withdrawal. Usually it is not because they want you back. I would advise not doing this again, you are letting him have is cake and eat it too. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 You are quick to condemn this other woman and yet look at you...knowing full well he is seeing someone else you initiated contact, invited yourself over and had sex with him. Look at him...he is seeing someone else and cheats on her with his ex. So whatever she is perhaps both of you should take a good long look at your actions because they are less than admirable. Leave him be and if he prefers the classless tramp then so be it...his choice..but don't go chasing after a man who has made his choice. It is up to him to change his own mind and then act on it. Link to comment
savignon Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 What bothers me even more is this girl has NO CLASS! She was coming over and sleeping with him when all of my pictures are still on the walls and my clothes are still in the closet. What type of girl does that??? She is scum!! And what was it YOU did, again??? Link to comment
Cheeks18 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Angery Responses!!! JEEZE, I would just back off and see what he does next, DO NOT BOTHER HIM OR BEG HIM OR EVEN CALL TEXT OR EMAIL ANYTHING, you seemed like you made it a damn good point the next morning of what you want, he knows now and its on him, I would just try and start the moveing on process and if he calls he calls if he doesnt no big deal just continue on. Link to comment
Qut81 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 You are quick to condemn this other woman and yet look at you...knowing full well he is seeing someone else you initiated contact, invited yourself over and had sex with him. Look at him...he is seeing someone else and cheats on her with his ex. So whatever she is perhaps both of you should take a good long look at your actions because they are less than admirable. Leave him be and if he prefers the classless tramp then so be it...his choice..but don't go chasing after a man who has made his choice. It is up to him to change his own mind and then act on it. I agree 100%. And unfortunately OP, from your actions you are now on the same level as her. He did not call you...you called him. Of course a guy is going to get kissy, touchy feely when hes getting laid. Im sorry, I know this hurts and I have been in this position before..you will find someone else who will treat you right. I dont know him, but I dont think he will treat you like you deserve. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Unfortunatley it doesnt matter what shes like, the fact is shes with him is what is important here. Yes she slept with him in that situation but you slept with him knowing full well he has a girlfriend. Why did you break up? Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 So, what did you accomplish? You contacted him, offered him sex, he agreed, and in the same bed which he sleeps with her in. Also, you said that you made it clear that you were not a "booty call", well newsflash...you were! I think you need to wake up and smell the coffee. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 You deserve a lot better than this. You need to get out of this toxic relationship with him. I bet you ANYTHING that he managed to make the other girl think the same way you do. Now you are both hating each other, warring and competing. When you should be hating HIM. He wants this. He wants you two to hate each other, it takes the blame off of him. Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 You deserve a lot better than this. You need to get out of this toxic relationship with him. I bet you ANYTHING that he managed to make the other girl think the same way you do. Now you are both hating each other, warring and competing. When you should be hating HIM. He wants this. He wants you two to hate each other, it takes the blame off of him. Ya, he's quite the snake. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Please tell me he wore a condom! If she is all that you said she is then she is a high risk sexual partner!!! He asked for space to think things through so give it to him. How you feel about yourself "after" is for you to live with. You cannot undo the past but you can learn from it. While doing NC think about what it is YOU want for your life. Lost Link to comment
Snoopy24 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 It doesn't matter what you think of the girl, or whether or not you were togther for 5 years or 10 years. What matters is you have been broken up, and you slept with someone else's boyfriend. I understand you still love him, and want him back. But sleeping with him, when he is also with someone else is not how to do it. If he will sleep with you when he is with her, what makes you think if he did take you back, he wouldn't still sleep with her? Link to comment
Brownstone322 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 You don't need a lecture, so I'll skip that part. Beware, though, that sex generally means less to men than it does to women, so that's the last thing you want to offer up easily. You want to make him earn that. Lotsa guys (I've been there) want nothing more than a sex toy who will drop by from time to time for a good go 'round. Unless you like the sex-toy role (nothing wrong with that, mind you, you're an adult), you might wanna re-think your approach. Link to comment
Tarkan Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 You are quick to condemn this other woman and yet look at you...knowing full well he is seeing someone else you initiated contact, invited yourself over and had sex with him. Look at him...he is seeing someone else and cheats on her with his ex. So whatever she is perhaps both of you should take a good long look at your actions because they are less than admirable. Leave him be and if he prefers the classless tramp then so be it...his choice..but don't go chasing after a man who has made his choice. It is up to him to change his own mind and then act on it. This. To be honest, It isn't up to us to judge you either but you pretty much did the same. My grandma always said: "Put a hand above your head and look at who's beaneth it" Anyway, even tough you call this other girl a "tramp", I'm more enclined to feel for her after reading this :S And if she was with every guy at your ex-boyfriend job, it might be because all the GUYS are using her for being to naive ... you know ... guys that cheat ... oh nevermind. Btw, I understand you still love the guy but I think you are blinded by jealousy or envy. Just know that it is your ex at the moment who is having all the fun. Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 You're definitely not any better than her.. you set yourself for a let down.. i'd advise you to stay away from him, don't text, call, etc. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I get that you still feel like he's yours, which is why you did what you did. But you have to realise that he's not, and that he's with someone else now, so you and him are cheating. Leave him to call you, but don't expect it. Use the experience as impetus to move on with your life. Link to comment
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