I am only fourteen this is to much

[cookiegirl1607306450]

HI my name is cookiegirl i am only 14 and this past summer I did drugs, smoked, had sex, and all of that with 18 year old guys. I am pregnant and the father wants to be a father to the baby but my mom forbids me to see him. BUt when i babiset i call him and when i go to the mall i call him and he comes to the mall. People do not under stand what I am going through. I want to run away because i am engaged to him an we are going to get married when i turn 18. What do i do now??

 

THIS IS NOT A JOKE, THIS IS NOT A JOKE

IT IS TOTALLY TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dave..yep..dave]

Deal with it ,because its your own fault for being very unresponsible.

[TearsofaDragon20]

i dont see how you got into all this mess but dave was right. and the truth does hurt. you should of seen this before you even thought of it.

[Neo7]

First, you listen to your mom. You are 14 she knows a bit more about life than you. YOu should not see this 18 year old anymore. Not sure where your from but if your 14 and he's 18 this guy SHOULD be in JAIL.

2nd I think you should abort this pregnancy or at least mull over the options of adoption. Not sure which one would be easier for you to handle. But you DO NOT need a child at age 14. Its not fair to you, your family, and it sure isn't fair to the child. It sounds like you have some sefl esteem problems I would consider some counseling. IF you dont' take any of this advice at LEAST listen to the part about not seeing this guy ANYMORE. This dude can't be any good.

[aliciaborg]

hi, ppl really need to grow up. i mean shes already pregnant, lets not make her feel any worse. i thought this website was here to help ppl out not make them feel bad.listen, i had my baby at a young age and i'm doing a great job, i'm doing better off with a baby then without, she straightend up my life.and for saying the 18 yr old guy should be put in jail, if shes pregnant and she wanted to have sex with him he cant get put in jail, i know all this. theres no age on love, and if they love eachother let them be, thats how i see it.as long as shes there for her baby.but cookiegirl, ahead of you and ur b-f comes that baby.just remember that. and stay in school. do ur best to. it all matters now.good luck, alicia

[jujigatame]

I'm not even going to touch this one. ----->

[Neo7]

I'm sorry I didn't mean to be inconsiderate or mean. But I really don't think my advice was in any way negative or an attempt to make cookiegirl feel worse. If that is how it was interpreted I do apologize, but that was not the intention. And I do believe you are wrong in regards to the 18 year old being put in Jail. The punishment for statutory rape do very from state to state but for the most part they are pretty stringent. It makes no difference if there was consent or not. She is a minor 14 and the male is 18. I don't care what state you're from, that is illegal. Unless your married but that isnt' the case. Now if cookiegirl isnt' from the United States then obviously that changes things.

[DADDYBOY14]

I know how you feel.I got my friend pregnant at 13 and i am 14.If you watch the move "RIDING IN CARS WITH BOYS" .With drew barrymore. It is based on a true story.about a 15 year old girl gets herself pregnant.it shows the laughs and sadness going thru life with a baby at 15....this is kind of my story![/b]

[aliciaborg]

i just think that some of the advice ppl are giving is stuff that should have been said to this girl befor she got pregnant, now that she already is nothing anyone says can change that,oh and to get back to the 18 yr old should be put in jail, not gonna work. i was 14 and the guy was 18 and there was nothing we could have done because i let it happen.and no i didnt do drugs or anything like that. actually i was very smart and got very good grades, i just liked to go out to parties and have fun once in a while and things just happened, no back to cookiegirl.i dont know about anyone else but i like to give ppl advice knowing their situation and what they can do to better themselves and give them more confidence in themselves to be a better parent, they are already gonna get lectured enough by their parents.plus you cant change the past, but you can make the future better for everyone around you.and do you think trying to put the babies father in jail is good for anyone?no its just gonna leave a helpless baby without a father.stat. rape is up to 40 yrs, that can be 40 yrs that child can go fatherless.and no there is no age on love. there's only one right person for everyone.and besides ppl make mistakes but they gotta learn from them. hope i helped.alicia

[TearsofaDragon20]

well everyone is entitled to their own opinons and the truth DOES hurt. no one can tell someone about what they say or how people should grow up. you dont see me telling someone to do that i shouldnt have to come on here and have someone to grow up. we dont come on here to hear that and i certinly dont need to see that. we give advice, and we take advice. fine sure some can take it to the borderline but dont get mad at them. they say what they want and we say want we want. i hate that someone is actually saying that we need to grow up. no i think not and to tell the truth if you want to make an argument go to yahoo because i really dont think anyone here needs to see that.

[aliciaborg]

no i'm not trying to start anything. just being a teen mother myself and knowing how i felt when ppl said stuff like that it hurts, so ppl do need to grow up and realize that ppl have feelings and we arent here to post things for advice and get some jerk saying stuff that shouldnt be said.so if you would like to start somthing and wanna talk further talk to me on msn messanger email removed

[TearsofaDragon20]

if i wanted to keep this going believe me i would but thats not going to happen. im not going to disrespect your opnion. but DONT sit there and tell me if you want to continue this. how long would it be before you would stop? exactly no one would it would be an on going argument so no i wont go about and im you on MSN.

[aliciaborg]

i dont really care, i just come on here hopeing that maybe i haev some advice to give someone that will help them and it just upsets me to see ppl being rude like that and just giving advice like deal with it, instead of well you can do this to help youself.but ok.thanks for finally ending this

[TearsofaDragon20]

Before i get kicked off this site (that i like to come to let me remind you) let me go and say that i apologize to both people alicia and cookie girl. the opnions were at borderline (i can only speak for myself because i dont know what everyone else thinks) but i like i said apologize. but i never came on to this site to help myself or be concited. dont mistake that. if you see that you can stop the others on here then be my guest but you cant stop nor distract how others thoughts are. when someone has the power to do that then i retire from being a member at this forum.

[aliciaborg]

thank you for your apology.and i also apologize.and i'm not trying to change anyones mind or anything like that. i was just stating that some ppl should think about what they say b4 they say it.but its over and thank you.

alicia

[TearsofaDragon20]

your welcome alicia anytime. didnt want anything to be misconstruded.

[kaleybabey_131607306451]

hi,i know what these other people our saying is making it sound like your a bad person but thats not what there trying to do.so listen to what there saying and use it

[butterfly girl1607306442]

Hey hun, looks like uve got urself into a bit of a mess..but when things get tough in our life and we are searching for something or someone..we can tend to get off track and resort to drugs, sex and alcohol..and all sorts of things. Firstly..you need to go to a local doctor and discuss things that will help you with your baby. I understand that your mum does not like the boy who got you pregnant, but she is trying to look after you. But she also needs to understand that it takes to people to have sex..thereforeeeeeee she cant blame it all on him. It is a VERY good sign of responsibility that the father of your baby is wanting to see the baby and you. But you have to marry for the right reasons..not just because of the baby. Sit down and talk to your mum and discuss what options you have for your future. Keep at school and dont give up. Goodluck sweety

[Boarderbuddy110]

I disagree... if you honestly and truly love this guy you should continue seeing him but do not let your mother find out. The other person was right about getting the child aborted, next u need to talk to the father and ask him if he is willing to invest his time into you. I dont blame you at all, we all were young or still are ( ) and we go through stages and stuff like that. Next time u have sex make sure your on some sort of birth control, he needs a condom also. Good luck

[Downwithit]

I also agree with dave and every one else you don't know anything about parenting when your fourteen and plz forgive me !WHAT THE *** WHERE YOU THINK HOLY ***ING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok now that I got that out of my system next time think about a C.O.D.O.M thats what they're for girls like you who think they're ready for kids at such a young age well I have nothing else to so to some one like you shit I still working on frenching my G/F advice damn.

[Zanne]

A drinking, drug-taking, promiscuous (you did say boyS, as in multiple partners, so I'm just going with what you typed) 14 year old is not ready to get married or have a baby. Neither is a drinking, drug-taking, non-protection using 18 year old boy. Sorry, but that's the truth of it. I'd seriously suggest thinking about adoption if you choose to have this baby. You're in a tough spot, so don't make it worse by multiplying the problems. You've tried the following your own head and heart thing and I think you'd agree that you blew it big-time with the situation you've found yourself in. Listen to your mom. Stay away from the druggie until he cleans up his act because a baby doesn't need a druggie dad. It would be better off without - as would you. Not to be harsh, but you can't even spell "babysit"...do you really think you can handle the responsibility of a child and a husband, especially one who isn't exactly in the best place to be a dad? Have an abortion or give the kid up for adoption and stay in school and make something out of your life. Don't get stuck in the rut you're in now with no future except popping out increasingly crack-addled babies. Look at what's happened and learn from it. Don't keep making the same mistakes.

[Colls]

Excuse me, but the spelling "babysit" comment was totally unnecessary. Im sure one in ur life you have slipped wen u were typing. Wow u r talkin to a 14 yr old here. Cookiegirl, I think u should stay with the father, because u love him and he lovees you, and you both need to love you child. Your heart tells you this is love, and to all those who are sayin to leave the father, if u were in the position of loving someone you wouldnt be sayoing the same things. Love sees no boundaries, and love sees the rights and wrongs in ppl. The baby is the most important thing now, and having a father is IMPORTANT. Single parents have it harder and the child also does. So cookiegirl hang in their, it will be ok!

[redbabymama]

Thank the lord someone finally got on here and knew what they were talking about.listen to Colls, he always gives good advice.I posted a similar message up, and he gave me wonderful advice.dont listen to these assholes ,excuse my French,who dont know what they are talking about.You have received some very bad advice.For much better advice click on my story"Hi!Im 14 and 11weeks pregnant."

 

 

 

 

Good Luck!

[Troubled Girl]

Im not even sure if this 14 yr old is still reading this but here is my 2 cents anyways. i believe everyone on here who has posted has a point. Sweety, in this situation you must only follow your heart. Take the advice from everyone else for what it is...advice. not one of these people, or your parents, or your baby father are in your shoes. Only you know what you can handle and what challenges you will face. I have had an abortion but do not agree with them. It changed my life dramatically...some days i cry about it and some days i think it was for the best...either way i regret having to make that decision. I am pregnant once again (I am 22 ths time with a house and a career and a fiance so things are quite a bit different) but none the less....I still had a decision to make and I chose life this time.

 

No matter what the age a baby will make things hard, but please remember it is only you that has tomake this decision. You cannot be scolded for the decisions you have already made, you must look back at them and learn. Life is all about learning, unfortunately for you, you will learn the hard way...i wish you much luck in your decision and in life ....my heart goes out to you.

[pi_anochik]

Someone back in the posts said that it takes two to have sex. That is very true. I would HIGHLY suggest you talk to your mom. MAKE her listen to you. Make her realize that it was partly YOUR decision too, and also make sure she understands that You KNOW you made a mistake.

 

If you love him and he loves you, there is the answer to that. You have to make your mom understand that too. BUT, I would not advise getting married yet. You are too young to get married. Regardless of whether you have the baby or not, you need to stay in school, and even try to go to college (though I know that if you keep the baby, that might be impossible.)

 

Also, it is imperitive that you see a docter and soon! Your health will be a BIG part of the decision making process as to whether you keep the child or abort it. As your doctor if your body could even handle childbirth, because many young teenagers bodies cannot handle the physical strain of childbirth.

 

Also, YOU MUST get off of pot. You cannot smoke while you're pregnant. That would be selfish and unfair to the poor child. I would also advise you to talk to your guy. You need to make him see how important it is for him to clean up his act. Tell him that if he really wants to be with you, he's gonna hafta. First of all, you need a man that is going to support you. Help him find a job if he doesn't already have one. Make him understand that he needs to be a good father, and that drugs and alcohol are going to make that hard on the child. I think that if you two are really as in love as you guys seem to think, it will work out. It CAN work out, too. Don't let ANYONE tell you that it can't.

 

I'm not here to judge you, only to offer advice. I know I'm not perfect (though I've noticed that alot of the people who've posted on this thread seem to think they are) so I'm not going to grill you for not being perfect. You KNOW you made a mistake, and that's the most important element to learning from it and fixing it.

 

I wish you all the luck that I can, and my heart goes out to you.

 

Also, person who commented on the fact that she didn't spell babysit right, you didn't punctuate some things in your post right so don't use that against her. It's called a TYPO. Everyone makes them. That was rude and uncalled for.