SapphireNoir10 Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 The way to be a responsible owner now is to start looking for a family and a person who wants a dog and have the means to keep it in the life it is accustomed too. Dogs have timeless loyalty. Your dog loves you. But it will love its next family too. personally I dont like the idea of a shelter because it'll wonder what it did wrong to be there...but if you can find it a new home thats fine, I understand you, you are saying you need your time and effort to get out of this depression rather than spending energy and time on a dog, when you dont want too, and CANT. Thats fine! I imagine when you got the dog you were in a better place emotionally and financially. Sometimes situations arise where the kindest thing IS too find it a lovinh home. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 I'm sorry I am not trying to be a * * * * * I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm so tired. Link to comment
onewithbooks Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 So how do you know that your dog isnt happy just chillin sitting there looking at you? Dogs are like humans. They all have different temperments. Some dogs like to be less active than others. If you like to read, you could always pack a blanket and take the dog to the park and read there. The sunshine might do you some good. I understand having a hard time getting out of bed, I do. But eventually you have to. If not you wind up peeing in it and that is fun for no one. So while you are up, grab the book and go to the park. I am not saying you have to play fetch and frisbee but just a walk. A simple walk and take your book. The dog would appreciate the change in scenery and it might do you good. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 If I take my dog to the park he will end up running away or something. He isn't trained at all. Link to comment
onewithbooks Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 If you walk for a bit, your dog will tire and be less apt to run away. I am assuming he has a leash, so if that is the case he shouldnt go too far. Link to comment
hers Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Coco, please keep your dog. It's happier than you think it is. When you get out of this, you will be glad you kept him. If you get rid of him, and you get otu of this funk, will you get another dog b/c you're in a better place then? And then if you get in another funk, you'll get rid of that one too? No, I hope not. Keep him and you'll be glad you did. I understand the depression keeps you from wanting to even lift food in your mouth, answer the phone, get out of bed, check the mail, walk your dog. But you have to do those things, right? At least see him as a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 If you walk for a bit, your dog will tire and be less apt to run away. I am assuming he has a leash, so if that is the case he shouldnt go too far. yeah he has a short leash but I was wondering how I would hold a dog on a leash while sitting and trying to read, I guess tie him to a tree or something? Never done it before so I guess thats the only other option. He's really hyper and he tries to break lose from me when he sees other dogs and he just acts crazy, I know thats my fault becuase I should have trained him better or walked him around dogs more oh well.. Hersmudders no I would never get another dog because that would be dumb to get rid of a dog because you are in a funk only to get better and get another dog and do the same thing again. I'm not that much of a jerk. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 You know what bothers me too about the dog. I am always home alone with the dog. I don't have any friends to hang out with and I am at home all the time which sucks but on top of all that he stares at me all day, follows me around this 600 square foot apartment. I feel like I'm going insane with him following my every move. Maybe I'm crazy? I don't know. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Dogs follow u around because they like you. If their tail is wagging a lot, it also means they are happy. Jasper, my best friend's dog, is like that. He'll follow you around the first floor of the house (he isn't allowed upstairs and he knows that), from the minute you are up and about. He might be asleep but the minute he hears your footsteps, he'll come running, his tail all awagging. I love Jasper. He is a good dog. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 Oh okay I understand then Link to comment
hers Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 see, that's all that makes your dog happy--to just look at you! he's happy following you around. granted, it can get annoying with an extra shadow, but it just means he's happy and he loves you. leeluu does that with me. why does she need to come say hello to me when i pee? no idea. but it reassures me that i'm loved. when i take leeluu to the park and don't wnat her walking off (she is good off leash but i like to keep her closer by when other dogs are around), i put her leash around my ankle while i sit. it is sturdy, frees up my hand, and keeps her from walking away. Link to comment
NightLily Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Yeah that last part is really true. I don't know where to start. Do I just call a hospital and ask where the free clinics are? I look online and it the phone book and I just get no where like I get overwhelmed or something and I just give up. I feel like I am always hitting a wall or something, it feels so strange. Yeah, I would try calling the hospital or looking up "free clinic" and then your area online. They aren't usually FREE though. I don't know how much they would cost but it should be less than urgent care. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 Your dog sounds well behaved, I just feel bad I keep him locked up at night so that he won't use the bathroom in the house is that wrong? I sometimes lock him up when I leave the house too becaues I don't know if he will get into stuff or crap in the house? I tried training him before he doesn't crap in the house when I'm here but he did before when I was gone. I just can't handle all this stress. I'm already feeling like I could snap any second. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 Yeah, I would try calling the hospital or looking up "free clinic" and then your area online. They aren't usually FREE though. I don't know how much they would cost but it should be less than urgent care. thanks, maybe I'll again. I guess. Link to comment
hers Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 A lot of dogs do well with crate training. You ease them out of it overtime. Leeluu didn't come magically trained. It was a battle in some parts, particularly housebreaking (took her TWO YEARS before she was fully trained!). Can you ease him into being left alone in the house? Like pick up all the stuff he could possibly get into and put it somewhere he can't reach. put a chair on the couch so he doesnt get on it. whatevery ou need to do. leave for 30 minutes and come back and if he didn't touch anything, praise praise praise him for it. if he did, try again next time (but don't spank him or scold him for getting into something...just a firm "NO!" will suffice b/c they understand tone, not english). Link to comment
NightLily Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 thanks, maybe I'll again. I guess. If I were you, I would be desperate to do it. Just set a goal for yourself that you will call tomorrow, find the number, and call the clinic. Just do that one thing. Link to comment
onewithbooks Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 yeah he has a short leash but I was wondering how I would hold a dog on a leash while sitting and trying to read, I guess tie him to a tree or something? Never done it before so I guess thats the only other option. He's really hyper and he tries to break lose from me when he sees other dogs and he just acts crazy, I know thats my fault becuase I should have trained him better or walked him around dogs more oh well.. I just kept it tied around my wrist. When he makes a move to go to another dog. Tug on the leash to keep him back and give him a very firm NO! Its not magic, but over time it will work. My friend is dogsitting for her grandson and she had a heck of a time making the dog mind. She just wasnt being firm enough in her tone. My mom used to say I sounded like I was yelling at the dogs, and I was not. I was being firm. The only time I yelled is to call them into the house. It sounds like you have a good dog and you need to relax a bit and give the both of you a chance. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 I just kept it tied around my wrist. When he makes a move to go to another dog. Tug on the leash to keep him back and give him a very firm NO! Its not magic, but over time it will work. My friend is dogsitting for her grandson and she had a heck of a time making the dog mind. She just wasnt being firm enough in her tone. My mom used to say I sounded like I was yelling at the dogs, and I was not. I was being firm. The only time I yelled is to call them into the house. It sounds like you have a good dog and you need to relax a bit and give the both of you a chance. I feel like a big old douche bag when I look at him. I don't know what I'm going to do. Link to comment
onewithbooks Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Well stop it then. You are the only one who can control that. That dog cant help how crappy you feel. That dog just wants to love you, and he DOES love you. When you start to feel like a douche, take him for a walk. This accomplishes lots of things. 1. Works off excess energy for the dog. 2. Gives you a chance to train the dog. 3. Gets you out of the house 4. Give you exercise that increases your endorphins which will help reduce the "I feel like a douchebag feelings" Link to comment
Ac143 Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 CoCo - when you got this dog Im sure you didn't think about how will it be when or if you get depressed. But let me tell you this, this dog can help you get out of your depression if you believe that or not. He has so many things to offer you, he loves you that's a definite. Even if you dont walk him constantly or pet him all day long or at all. If you get the strength and feel like going for a walk, take him. He will love it & it will help you. You need to get out of this slump you're in & believe me, just because you "think" giving him away will help you I can bet you that you will feel even worse if you give him away. That being said, if you MUST and really cannot stand having a dog around anymore - find some no killer shelters around OR put it on craigslist (I know you said you dont want to) but you can screen the people, ask for references, go see their home etc...if you want to do the responsible thing you will not just dump him off at some random shelter. Heck bring him here before you do that! Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Author Share Posted July 13, 2009 im trying to figure out how to solve all this i just want to be happy and make money again, my sel esteem is all gone. thanks for responding Link to comment
onewithbooks Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 Just dont give the dog away. Dogs are a source of uncondtional love. No matter how much you hate you, odds are when you walk in the door, your dog will be happy to see you. You cant say that about most humans. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 That's very true. Dogs are a source of unconditional love. I know that now that my friends have Jasper. A lot of times I enjoy going over to their house, not so much to be around them, but to be with Jasper. He is always happy to see me. I never thought I would like a dog this much. Link to comment
ramsickle1369 Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 ^This is true. I really think it would be good for you to keep the dog if for nothing else but to have company. Also, you should walk them every day. Seriously. Not just for them but for you. I'm not joking when I say it does wonders for the mind. It always calms me down and clears my head to just get out and walk. And if you feel better physically it helps so much mentally. Agreed. The dog is helping YOU more than you know and having this responsibility and the unconditional love of the dog is something you desperately need right now. I also agree that taking the dog out for a walk is a way for you to help yourself get past the moment and a lil fresh air and some exercise is great for depression. However, if you are dead set on dumping the dog due to your current circumstance, please consider a rescue group over a shelter as a rescue group will help you find your loving dog a new home and they will NOT kill it. So... if you love your dog, and it seems you do since you want the dog to be "happier", a shelter is a horrible idea. Look for animal rescue in your area and talk to them. Link to comment
ramsickle1369 Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 I'm sorry I am not trying to be a * * * * * I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm so tired. Hey Coco-- I'm new to your life and am terribly sorry for how you feel. However, depression is 99% of the time situational. Change your situation and it helps the depression. If you can't afford to pay for therapy (neither can I) then you must be proactive in getting better. This means forcing yourself against every pain in your body that is telling you you can't, and doing things anyway. You CAN handle this. NOTHING is ever as bad in reality as it feels when you're locked in your own head. What will help you is to develop a plan, and stick to it. Start with one thing you can't imagine you can do and find a way to make one small super small baby step toward it. Do you journal? That can help. I heard from a therapist (back when I had coverage) to try writing with your non-dominant hand (so if you're right handed, write with your left). It somehow reaches the emotions inside you instead of the logic. You wont be able to read it so just close your eyes. But try it. Try something. I think that getting rid of your dog is a step (for your personal health) in the wrong direction. As for finding support, try link removed. Or abuse shelters. Or whatever church of your choice (even non-denominational if you so desire) to get the support you need. Best of luck.... Link to comment
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