Question for the guys!

[Leila1]

Ok, it's a long story but I'll do my best to keep it short....

I met a guy through my cousin at a party last year and instantly hit it off. We bumped into each other every now and again when I was hanging out with my cousin etc We were basically friends and got on well but as we didnt see each other all that often Everything felt natural and I felt like I'd known him before etc It was crazy and kinda freaked me out. I guess I was just really comfortable around him. I got the same impression from him he said he'd felt like we'd known each other for longer than we had and that things felt natural. I found out he had a crush on me and was obviously happy about that! so i emailed him suggesting we meet up for a coffee kinda like a date but never heard back I went travelling to europe (awesome lol) for a month and while I'm there I get a call on my cell - him confessing his feeling for me. i came back and find out hes been dating a girl while i was away. im ovbiously crushed and dont understand what the hell happened! a few months later my cousins birthday party he doesnt even look at me let alone strike up a conversation it was horrible. months pass again i still think about him, just cant help it and keep dwelling on why nothing happened and why hes with the new girl. i get a call late a night but dont answer - man i wish i did. it happens again the following night. im so confused (and half asleep) i dont answer. a month or so goes by and i get a happy birthday, really nice but short email. i reply chatty and all and get zero back. and then to prolong this saga i saw him at a garden party where again, he didnt talk. i wanted to go over but i guess something in me just couldnt. nerves? who knows. oh and by the way hes still dating the girl.

 

my basic problems

1) I just cant stop thinking about this guy although i know for damn sure that based on whats been going on i shouldnt. i actually think we're supposed to be together and that something has just 'gone wrong' along the way.

2) something inside me wont let me let go of the thought that we have a connection and i'm not convinced he doesnt feel something similar towards me.

3)any tips on getting over people?? this cant go on?! perhaps id have gotten over him if he had just stopped really talking to me (and stopped calling) but throughtout my time of ' i cant get him off my mind' little things like phone calls keep make me wonder if there are feeling there... but if there are feelings there why cant he act on it? ahh

 

i kinda know what answers i'm gonna get 'move on he's obv not interested etc' lol but hey maybe some other opinions are out there

 

whats your take on this guys? sorry for rambling on.. its hard to make myself clear! can guys still be hung up on girls even when theyre in a relationship?

 

geeeeeeeez

[Leila1]

Sorry I posted twice...

[jrabach]

let him go since hes already dating someone else. keep yourself busy, as a guy who got quite a few rejections thats what I do and keep up a daily routine just to reinforce the thought that he is just not for you.

 

Tell you what my uncle taught me a very good philosophy, "if its not meant to be its not mean to be." Something else will come and would be 100x better than what you want now. People tend to focus on "now" since it is whats in front of them but more things will come in time.

 

please take time to read my post and tell me what you think. Im desperate for answers myself just like you.

[annie24]

i don't know what his deal is. he sounds like a little boy, not a man. first thing is, i'm confused, if you guys got on so well after the first time you met, why didn't he ask you out? i don't know - there may have been other women in his life. i don't know if it's a case of bad timing or what. guys like this have a habit of popping back into your life once you are over them.

[alli]

You should delete your other thread so people don't respond to both.

 

I'm not a guy but I'll give you advice anyway. If this guy wanted to be with you as much as you want to be with him, he would not be dating someone else. He would return your calls. He would return your emails. He would talk to you when you see him.

 

He may think you are attractive, but he is obviously not looking for anything serious with you. What has happened here is not a matter of bad luck or missed opportunities. He is choosing to date other people and ignore you when he wants to.

 

Stop trying to contact him and ignore when he contacts you. There are plenty of guys who will like you as much as you like them, and will actually have the capability of responding to an email or a phone call instead of just contacting you when they feel like it, on their terms.

 

Sorry he's acting like this. But you can't do anything about it. It's all about him choosing when he feels like talking to you or not.

[Leila1]

Helpfull post. makes sense and although 'if its not meant to be ' is sensible good advice it's so hard to let go (even when you try) when you were convinced it was meant to be... argg

[annie24]

merged threads.

[jrabach]

annie and leila please read my post i need a girl's input...i feel so torn ryt now and dont have anyone to talk to

 

 

[iLiveWithMyMom]

I think you should confront him and get some straight answers. You're not going to be able to move on until you do. Next time you see him at a party, go up to him and ask if you can speak to him alone for a bit while his gf is not around.

 

I think he most definitely has feelings for you, but is confused about how he feels about his current gf. His current relationship obviously has problems, which is why he's so wishy-washy. Any chance he was already seeing this girl before you went to Europe? An ex he got back together with maybe? That would seem logical to me.