alls Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 if i see my bf in the evening, he sends me home at 1 or 2 am. some nights i can't stay any way and thats ok. but other nights, he just throws me my clothes as a hint, or says 'alright get out of my room'. this can be just after we've fooled around (BJ) or had sex. few nights ago, i ended up giving him a BJ and within 5 mins i was out the door.... He usually just goes to his front door and stops there to say good bye, he does NOT walk me to the car which is about 20metres away from there, parked down the street. this is 1 or 2 am in the morning. he says drive safe, but NEVER checks to make sure i make it home ok. This also happens when it is completely obvious that im tired. We are both lying on his bed dozing 5 minutes before.... realistically im in no state to drive home, but he sends me home anyways, where i could easily drift off to sleep at the wheel.. is this weird? how would you feel if your bf did this? would it bother you? i dont know if im just reading into it too much.... Link to comment
Applewhite Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 That is VERY weird. It is definitely NOT normal. I wouldn't tolerate such BS. Why are you still with him? Sounds to me like he is just using you. Link to comment
alls Posted June 20, 2009 Author Share Posted June 20, 2009 na he isn't using me. i know that. like 15 mins before he sent me home one night we were laying on his bed, and i was cold and he was wapping me up in his bed covers saying 'i have to take care of my girl'. i think odd that he then allows me to drive home when im almost asleep. i shouldn't drive. i know i shouldn't. but what can i do.... Link to comment
livefree Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 What a gentleman... If you feel that this is wrong behavior on his part, it's probably because it is! He's in no way showing that he cares about your well-being, which to me should be the end of it Link to comment
Applewhite Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 na he isn't using me. i know that. like 15 mins before he sent me home one night we were laying on his bed, and i was cold and he was wapping me up in his bed covers saying 'i have to take care of my girl'. i think odd that he then allows me to drive home when im almost asleep. i shouldn't drive. i know i shouldn't. but what can i do.... That doesn't mean a whole lot. He might feel good doing that himself. At the end of the day, he does not want to sleep in the same bed with you. In fact once you are done pleasing him sexually, he wants you out of the room, out of the house. Have you spent any time with him outside of the house? Have you met his friends/parents/siblings? Does he ever tell you he loves you/how pretty you are etc? Does he hold your hand while you are out in public? Link to comment
Ivory_Tower Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 Please leave him. My ex acted like this for a year, and he left me high and dry. The very fact that you would post this means you are having serious doubts. He's using you, don't doubt yourself. Any doubts that are arising in your mind me that deep in your gut you don't really trust this person. In the end all you will have is yourself to rely on. Know when something doesn't feel right, and be brave and end things. Link to comment
alls Posted June 20, 2009 Author Share Posted June 20, 2009 That doesn't mean a whole lot. He might feel good doing that himself. At the end of the day, he does not want to sleep in the same bed with you. In fact once you are done pleasing him sexually, he wants you out of the room, out of the house. Have you spent any time with him outside of the house? Have you met his friends/parents/siblings? Does he ever tell you he loves you/how pretty you are etc? Does he hold your hand while you are out in public? Oh i have spent the night there. usually on fridays or saturdays, as i work during the week and usually stay most of the next day with him. i have met his friends, and his parents. he does hold my hand when out in public. he does give me compliments all the time... we haven't done the 'i lvoe yous'. Link to comment
alls Posted June 20, 2009 Author Share Posted June 20, 2009 Please leave him. My ex acted like this for a year, and he left me high and dry. The very fact that you would post this means you are having serious doubts. He's using you, don't doubt yourself. Any doubts that are arising in your mind me that deep in your gut you don't really trust this person. In the end all you will have is yourself to rely on. Know when something doesn't feel right, and be brave and end things. yeah there are other things that make me doubt or 'over think' this a bit..... im just not sure if its due to the fact its new still (3 months) and he was single for 4 years before meeting me.. Link to comment
alls Posted June 20, 2009 Author Share Posted June 20, 2009 What a gentleman... If you feel that this is wrong behavior on his part, it's probably because it is! He's in no way showing that he cares about your well-being, which to me should be the end of it yeah... even the jerk i dated before would at least say let me know when you get home or he'd check if i was home...... and yet part of me, silly as it is, wants to make him worry... send me home to drive at 2am when im nearly alseep..... even tho i know its childish etc, and i wouldn't any way, just tempting too. Link to comment
Applewhite Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 It is very simple really. If he liked you enough, he would want you to sleep next to him when he's been with you until 2 AM anyway. How would he like it if he came to your place, and had to leave at 2 AM. Try it, he won't be up for it. Link to comment
livefree Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 and yet part of me, silly as it is, wants to make him worry... send me home to drive at 2am when im nearly alseep..... even tho i know its childish etc, and i wouldn't any way, just tempting too. You want to make him worry, but the truth is, worrying probably hasn't crossed his mind. If it was, then he wouldn't let you drive back that late, or would make sure you made it home safely...or atleast walk you to your car in the middle of the night! Link to comment
Ivory_Tower Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 yeah there are other things that make me doubt or 'over think' this a bit..... im just not sure if its due to the fact its new still (3 months) and he was single for 4 years before meeting me.. Believe me that feeling (your gut) is their for a reason. If something doesn't feel right, then don't trick yourself into thinking its okay. It isn't. You should not be driving home when you are too tired. Thats just dangerous. I will tell you my full story if you don't believe me. I hope you aren't dating my ex. He's a horrible person. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 Is there more to this story? So if you stay during the weekends sometimes, and otherwise things are pretty normal, you go out, you've gotten to meet his clan, etc. So are you talking during the week when one or both of you need to be at work/school the next morning or something? And do you have an agreement that you won't be staying over night? It's still incredibly disrespectful to 'hint' by throwing the clothes at you, or outright saying "ok, get out of my room now". But it might be somewhat easier to understand if you are staying late, the two of you are getting intimate later in the night, and by that time it's for sure time to sleep and both of you are exhausted. At one time I was seeing a guy who would hang around right past all my mentions of how I had to get to bed, how I had to get up early in the morning, and then when it was really late...he'd act like I was a jerk because I'd "make" him drive home while he was tired. Only difference was, I wasn't encouraging it by fooling around at that time...and neither should your bf being receiving bjs willingly if he is planning on hitting the sack and having you drive home 5 mins later!! I'd stop engaging in intimacy with him at that time, late at night, and when you don't know for sure you will be staying the night. And if he doesn't like that, well, alternate arrangements can be made. But it's no good feeling bad and yet continuing to do it. You know he has no qualms sending you home if you stay that long, so maybe don't stay as long. Watch out for yourself first. Link to comment
arwen Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 I wouldn't be intimate with a guy who sort of wants to get rid of you after his business is finished. To me, this sounds more like a friends-with-benefits situation than a relationship. Be careful with your heart and what you invest here. Link to comment
Jelina Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 This guy is pretty shady. Is it possible that maybe he doesn't want someone to know your spending the night? Does he have room mates? How often do you see him? Do you ever wonder if he is seeing someone else and is afraid the other person might see you there? How big is his bed? Is it a twin bed...maybe it's too small for sharing? Link to comment
Sadly Mistaken Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 Not only is that weird its really insensitive and uncaring, sounds to me like his using you. If you look at it objectively he is not treating you like a person he really cares about. Link to comment
I_Speak_Jive Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 Hmmmm... even my one-night-stands get to spend the whole night I don't really get it. Stay at yours maybe? (and if you are feeling mean tell him to leave at 2AM Link to comment
DN Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 Have you asked him why he does this? Is this the same guy that proposed to you after three months of getting together? Link to comment
summerpeach Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 This is not weird at all, this is called emotionally immaturity. I bet he's a young guy?! I would not allow anyone to make me feel like a "thing" And yes he is using you. He gets his BJ and you're out the door. Words that follow "like gotta to take care of my girl" mean nothing. Actions mean everything, words, meh, they dont mean much Link to comment
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