Babetears Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 Hi it's me the one who wrote about (How to mend a broken heart?). Im doing fine today.. i didn't cry.. sleeping better now...but still not feel like eating much... anyway today i have a question to ask everyone and tell me what you think i should do... i was wondering just now... should i ask him what is the main reason he left me... i want to know if it was because he don't love me anymore or was it because i am not a perfect gf for him... so please let me know if i should ask him those questions... ofcourse i will not call him.. whenever he call should i ask him that??? let me know... Thanx... xoxoxo You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see, but you cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel. (Unknown) Link to comment
Sn0man Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 Hey there I think, the next time you talk to you ex, when the time comes in the conversation (naturally, don't push the question), casually ask what went wrong. Then, if the timing is right, you should get the answer you seek. Hope that helps. Link to comment
Evil_Bunny Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 I am going to say no to that. Why do you need to know. Do you want to change who you are, I hope not. Be your self all the time. Don't try to be something else to please others. Some thing to think about, but do you really think he will tell you the whole truth when he calls you? ? ? Don't trust a man if he wants something, and if he is calling you (the ex) then he wants something. Link to comment
Beec Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 First before I answer that, tell me what do you want from him in the future? Link to comment
kuhl282000 Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 Hello Try not to be so hard on yourself. For what ever reason when people get dumped and heartbroken it is human nature to second guess yourself and I know it messes with your self esteem. Some questions in life will always go unanswered. And that in a lot of ways can be a very good thing. Life goes on, and so will you. Warm Regards Kuhl Link to comment
Babetears Posted March 31, 2004 Author Share Posted March 31, 2004 I just want to know the truth and move on with my life....eventhough i know the truth will hurt... but without know the truth then it will keep me thinking what did i do wrong... but i guess in a way i should not ask him the question...i don't know i am very confuse rite now... Link to comment
Beec Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 I see that the guy dumped you and it really doesn't matter why, so why ask. Or if you want any chance at ever seeing him again, don't ask. Link to comment
Babetears Posted March 31, 2004 Author Share Posted March 31, 2004 i know the fact that i will see him again within the next 2 week cause he have to return some stuff to me.. unless he have someone handing it to me... then i won't get to see him... so i shouldn't ask him even if i see him??? You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see, but you cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel. Link to comment
SmintyMinty Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 I know when you break up it's natural to wanna know why but my feeling is that you just are never gonna know for sure. It's hard to rationalise feelings and provide reasons for everything. Sometimes it just doesn't work out and there's no straight answer. I guess if you want to ask your ex why be prepared for answer you might not want to hear. either way you're never gonna know if he's telling the truth anyways. He might tell you what he thinks you want/need to hear. I think asking these questions just stops you from moving on. You didn't do anything wrong, sometimes it's just not meant to be and you need to accept that as part of moving on. Dwelling on the past and what happens won't fix things with your ex. Give yourself and him space and time to get over this. I know it's real hard and painful for you right now, my boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago so I kinda know what you're feeling. Please don't feel down about yourself, you're not to blame for the relationship ending - takes two after all...! Go out, hang with your friends and it does get better! Link to comment
Babetears Posted March 31, 2004 Author Share Posted March 31, 2004 thanx... i feel like i am getting better...especially when i did not cry yesterday and today... thinking back.. sometimes i think i am better without him.. i guess i just need time to stop thinking about him.. or think of the stuff we've been through... happy and sad... right now what im really afraid of is.. when he call me to get my stuff i don't know what to say to him.. im trying to go places with my friends now.. i lost so many of my friends when i was with him.. now im trying to get in touch with my friends again... and go travel and have some fun... hehehe thanx again... Link to comment
Beec Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 If you don't know what to say, try not to say anything. Try to avoid him as much as you can. When he comes to get his stuff, have it ready to go, and be ready to go out or have someone there to help you. If you really know how to control your emotions, you can try other things, but that is very tough to do. Link to comment
Babetears Posted March 31, 2004 Author Share Posted March 31, 2004 im going to get my stuff not him getting his stuff... Link to comment
Beec Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 Then bring someone with you, if you can. If not just tell him if he asks that you need to think about what you want. Link to comment
Babetears Posted March 31, 2004 Author Share Posted March 31, 2004 most likely i will bring one of my friend with me... but i don't know if she will be busy or not... but i don't get the second question... i feel like crying right now... i miss him so much... Link to comment
Beec Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 Well, my point was that if you see him you don't want to cry infront of him. It's tough to control your emotions, but if you can do it. If he asks you anything, you don't want to answer with anything that really means something. You jsut want to give vague answers. And I don't know and I need ot think about it are good answers. Link to comment
Babetears Posted March 31, 2004 Author Share Posted March 31, 2004 the last time i saw him... i didn't cry in front of him... i cried before i saw him and cried after i saw him... i hold it back... what is a good way to stop thinking of him.. it's killing me inside... Link to comment
Beec Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 Sorry, but for that I have no great suggestions. Some simple ones are stay busy, keep yourself surrounded with friends, stay away from him and most of all it takes time. Here the general thing people will tell you to do is no contact. That is until you can control you emotions enough to act like a friend, when you'll be told to get proactive, create contact and play on his emotions, if you want to try to get him back. Link to comment
Babetears Posted April 1, 2004 Author Share Posted April 1, 2004 so far no contact with him until he call to tell me to get my stuff... that is going to be the last contact im going to have with him... thanx a lot... im pretty sure i will be on this a lot more now... Link to comment
Beec Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 That's great. Hope it helps to be here. Link to comment
sbrew21 Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 I think this is such an emotional topic that the only time you can truly ask him is when you are completely over him and his answer isn't going to effect you. Right now you are vulnerable. When he calls don't answer your phone. It will drive him crazy. Guys love that little bit of challenge and mystery. I would do nothing. Keep your conversation short and always end it first. I know sometimes you can't help it and it just comes out but you have to be strong. Link to comment
Babetears Posted April 1, 2004 Author Share Posted April 1, 2004 his reason for calling is to give me my stuff back.. so are you telling me to not answer his call... and not get my stuff back??? Link to comment
Beec Posted April 2, 2004 Share Posted April 2, 2004 Get your stuff, just make sure you do not expose all your feelings. You probably should try to appear friendly too, if you can. Link to comment
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