What’s your herpes status? (Anonymous poll)

[Anotherday]

I don't have it just because I have been lucky.

[Lights]

I am not a predator. Just a person who has needs. Just because I was given a lifelong STD doesn't make me any different from you.

 

I am not preying on anyone I am just not disclosing certain personal facts about myself.

 

How do you think STDs get spread? EVERYBODY does it.

 

You just called yourself a victim, because someone did this to you.

That makes you a predator, if you are making others victims.

[diabolik]

While I'm not about to defend donders, for those who are appalled at his behavior and letting him have it, I would say this: If you do not know your herpes status (oral or genital) and are sexually active, do you really have a right to get on a soapbox and lecture him?

 

On the other hand, if you do know your herpes status, and are behaving responsibly whether or not you have it, I applaud you for that.

[Capricorn3]

I am not preying on anyone I am just not disclosing certain personal facts about myself. .

That IS preying on someone. When you know you have an STD and make a point of NOT telling the person you're having sex with, that is totally irresponsible and just plain wrong (imo). Basically you're saying that you really don't care if you pass it onto others, as long as your needs are taken care of. Nice.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

While I'm not about to defend donders, for those who are appalled at his behavior and letting him have it, I would say this: If you do not know your herpes status (oral or genital) and are sexually active, do you really have a right to get on a soapbox and lecture him?

 

On the other hand, if you do know your herpes status, and are behaving responsibly whether or not you have it, I applaud you for that.

 

Yes. I know my sexual health status and I am responsible.

My soapbox has a valid license. So get clapping.

 

This sort of mentality is dangerous and no one can deny this. Sometimes in life you have to bite the bullet and think about the best interest of others instead of being selfish and afraid.

 

Most people who pass herpes on do NOT know they have it. This person does know and is cruelly putting others at risk. It's not going to go over well with people...

 

But whatever. Like I said before. I am smart enough to protect myself and that's all I or anyone else can do. You can't stop someone from not disclosing their std status, but you can sleep with people who will be safe with you.

 

That's the bottom line.

[diabolik]

Yes. I know my sexual health status and I am responsible.

My soapbox has a valid license. So get clapping.

=D>

Most people who pass herpes on do NOT know they have it.

I'd be willing to bet that many people avoid getting tested b/c they'd rather not find out they have herpes.

But whatever. Like I said before. I am smart enough to protect myself and that's all I or anyone else can do. You can't stop someone from not disclosing their std status, but you can sleep with people who will be safe with you.

donders, if prior to sex, someone asked you whether you had an STD, or whether you had herpes, how would you respond?

[Lights]

Hmm, no one ever asked me that before.

 

I guess I would have to see how I felt about the person who was doing the asking.

 

Oh, so first you'll decide whether you like them enough to not infect them? Nice. So, if there's someone you don't like all that much, you'll just say to hell with it. Awesome, pity whoever ends up in your bed.

[Lights]

Well, actually if I liked them I would want to sleep with them so I probably would be less likely to tell them.

 

But this is all hypothetical. I've never been asked! Most people are careless I guess.

 

Careless like you were. And good luck getting any kind of relationship then - because if you liked me, and we hooked up, and I found out that you had herpes and didn't tell me, I wouldn't have an ounce of respect or friendliness left for you.

 

Ugh - seriously all, remember all of what's been said next time you're gonna get it on with someone. GET TESTED - because people obviously cannot be trusted to inform you for your own well being.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

^ You cannot trust anyone but yourself. It's your health!! Most people could care less about how they treat others. Obvious from this thread.

[annie24]

i'm surprised how many people said they were recently tested for herpes. because it's not part of a typical blood panel, at least not in the US. when you ask your blood to be checked for STDs, herpes isn't usually one that they look for.

[dragon lady]

i'm surprised how many people said they were recently tested for herpes. because it's not part of a typical blood panel, at least not in the US. when you ask your blood to be checked for STDs, herpes isn't usually one that they look for.

 

I think people go to their doctor asking to be tested for STDs and they assume that herpes is part of that. From what I understand, it usually isn't. You have to ask for it specifically & even then they sometimes won't do it (like in my case). I agree with you and I'd be willing to bet that far less people are getting tested than those saying.

[diabolik]

With 1101 thread views, there have been just 52 votes, a response rate of

 

Which begs the question, “Why aren’t people voting in this poll?”

 

Perhaps most people don’t know their herpes status, but to vote that way is an act of admission that is uncomfortable? And did the 7 people who voted they have cold sores all test for HSV-2? Is that why they chose #1 instead of #4? If so, add that to the 20 votes indicating no infection as determined by blood tests. 27/52 = 52%. So 52% of the responders have been blood tested for HSV?

 

Two obvious explanations – 1) responders are self-selecting, and 2) people think they have been tested b/c they’ve done the standard STD screen.

 

As for the 5, or 10% of responders, who’ve never been kissed, even as a child, well, you must have been a really ugly baby given up by your mother, and then passed into unloving foster home after foster home, and probably have way bigger problems than herpes.

[annie24]

i think (but am not sure) that each time a person views a thread, it gets counted. i think if i visit this thread 5 times, then it counts for 5 views. don't know. i think this is a question for kamurj.

[annie24]

PS - i have to say, in my family, we always kiss on the cheek, NEVER on the lips!

[Lights]

I can see what you're saying donders, but you'd be a lot more successful with a girl by being honest and letting her make up her own mind. I'd say that giving a girl herpes without telling her you have it gives her the right to be judgemental.

[diabolik]

^ You cannot trust anyone but yourself. It's your health!! Most people could care less about how they treat others. Obvious from this thread.

I agree. Most people don't really have a proper discussion about STDs before sex. I used to talk about this for 10 seconds just before we had sex - probably the worst time to have the discussion.

 

But after seeing donders response, it seems that asking point blank if they have any STDs is not enough. Am I supposed to demand papers?

[Lights]

Donders, are you into hooking up, or do you feel that you'd like a serious relationship?

 

If it's the 2nd one, saying you've got genital herpes AFTER you already gave it to her, is not the way to go about getting a girlfriend.

[Lights]

Charming. You want to trap them/trick them into being with you.

 

 

I've indulged this for pages on end now. And it's pretty pointless.

 

 

All I can say to you that I can't say enough times is that what you are doing is WRONG. I'm sure you wish that the person who gave you herpes had told you, because of all the problems it has brought you in your dating life. Do you REALLY feel that its fair to punish someone else for that? Someone innocent?

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

The thing is donders, you should be asking and getting tested for yourself as well.

You may not tell a woman she could be getting herpes, but she could be giving you HIV and keeping it to herself.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

For all I know I have HIV also.

 

I don't bother checking, what's the point?

 

Your health. HIV could kill you and is a terrible, painful illness.

Especially if you are in the dark about your status.

 

Like I said, I hope you're just pulling our leg here.

STDs aren't all just itchy and whatnot... they can cause serious health problems and kill you.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

Makes no difference that it can kill you and it's a terrible painful illness, and whether or not you're in the dark about it.

 

It's not curable.

 

Hun there are treatments for HIV....

 

Many people who take the medications and get regular checkups can live a nice long, good life. But if you let the illness go and stay ignorant to your status, you'll likely die.

[diabolik]

There are only treatments for the symptoms not the underlying condition. I believe the term is "supporative".

 

There are no "life prolonging" medications for HIV.

I don't know much about HIV, but I think if you are treated relatively early, you can keep viral loads down and white blood cell count high, so basically you function like a healthy person - e.g., Magic Johnson. But if you wait, the virus keeps multiplying, and if it is only detected once you start having those rare illnesses that only immunocompromised people get, I think it's harder to get back to a very healthy state.

 

So if you liked the girl, and she asks you point blank, you think you might deny having genital herpes, but would you have sex if you knew you were on the verge of an outbreak (i.e., you had the tingling, but no visible symptoms), when it's likely that you are shedding virus?

[waveseer]

I hate to say this, but statistically speaking nearly half of the "I don't know"s do have hsv 2.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

There are only treatments for the symptoms not the underlying condition. I believe the term is "supporative".

 

There are no "life prolonging" medications for HIV.

 

Well I'm glad you at least researched it to try to disprove what I said.

People can live a very decent life on the HIV cocktail. It does prolong their life because without it, they die much much sooner.

[Lights]

Why did you feel the need to repeat what she just said? lol