I gratefully give up OR NOT! Still here!

[SincerlyHurt]

Ok, here is a draft of the letter I may enclose with the ex's B-day card on Monday. I borrowed heavily in the first part from a poem, thanks Gee.

 

XXXX,

 

First and foremost I would like to share with you a bit of what I have learned through this juncture of my life. I hope that some of what I have learned will enlighten you on this day. You, as I have, must realize that no matter what, we will be alright. Even if we are alone we will be alright. After awhile you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. I have learned that love doesn't mean possession, and company doesn't mean security, and that loneliness is universal. I learned that kisses are not contracts and presents aren't promises....and soon I began accepting my defeat with my head up and my eyes open, with the grace of a man not the grief of a child. I have come to build all of my hope on today because tomorrow is too uncertain, futures have a way of falling down mid-flight. I've been enlightened through my own thoughts, actions, and experiences and now realize each step taken in a new direction creates a path toward the promise of a brighter day. After awhile you will learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. I have planted my own garden and am nourishing my own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring me flowers. I see now that I really can endure....that I really am strong and that I really do have worth. I have learned so much and thus am left to wonder what, if anything, you have learned.

 

You must know that whatever happens, whether your conquest returns you to me or skirts you farther away, that I wish happiness upon you. I am painfully aware of what I have lost in you. I will never forgive myself for becoming content with "us." You have a part of my heart just as I have a part of yours but it is so sad to me that those parts may be all we ever have to give us solace in the future. I admire your strong will, your desire to be happy. I also pray that you are curious enough to see what I can now offer you. There is no better cure for a person than gaining clarity regarding their life. I would value you as a life partner, a girlfriend, a wife, an old frail lady, it does not matter, I can and will love you like you never knew you could be loved. XXXX, we could have a radiantly beautiful life together, chock full of love and affection. If we ever started over nothing with us would be the same. We are both different beings now and as a result will have to learn each other all over again. What a fun excursion that would be! You cannot fathom the extent of love I have to administer, but will you ever?

 

As much as I long for us to work out please know that I will grant your wish if you want me to give up on you. I respect your ability to make decisions for yourself and hope that if you have come to one about the fate of us you will not halt in conveying it to me. I am in this to win it but if I have no one to play with, well, then I guess I am just playing with myself and no one wants that.

 

Remember this whether you come back or not, I possess the love to fulfill you emotionally, intellectually, and to do the "little things" as well as constantly learn new ones. We have built a household that is yearning for you to return and be a part of it again. I still refer to Gabe as "our" dog, please do not make me change that. Come to me, but come wholeheartedly, no looking back.

 

Love, XXXX

 

----------------------------------

 

This will be the last communication I make regarding us until she makes a move. What do you all think?

[vetgirl]

Most of what you have written is beautiful, but I do recognize phrases of it from a "famous" poem, so I'd avoid the plaigiarism if you can in case she's seen that before. If she has, she might think it a little "trite" and it may make her unhappy. Just my two cents.

[SincerlyHurt]

nah, she does not read that stuff, she is a bit shallow, gets her literary kicks from me and text books due to school. I hope that poem is not in a quantitative methods text book, if not I will be fine.

[vetgirl]

But don't you think that you are deceiving her then? Even though the words may say what you feel, they aren't your words and you are putting them forth to her as if they were. I understand the idea that this is all a game, but I just don't know why you would want to play like that.

 

BTW I consider myself fairly "literary" and most certainly well-educated and far from shallow and I've seen that poem more than a few times circulated in emails, in undergraduate institutions, etc. What if she shared it with a close friend who has read it? Seems too risky to me.

[GeeCee]

Hi Vetgirl

 

Sorry to bounce in here. I think that SincerelyHurt (still working on the name honey, but am close!!) has used some phrases of a 'famous poem'. I can see nothing wrong with that, especially given that he has juxtaposed them beautifully with his own, very powerful words. By doing this, he has made them 'his' words. Having said that, I don't actually believe that words belong to any of us; they are merely borrowed and used to suit our purposes. I certainly do not believe that he is deceiving his ex. This is merely my opinion.

 

SincerelyHurt, I think that your words, and the borrowed ones, are perfect. Absolutely perfect.

 

The ball is now firmly in HER court. Let's hope she plays it wisely!

 

G xx

[shockeddismayed]

Sincerely,

 

I laughed out loud about the "quantitative methods" comment.

 

I wonder though... with comments about how she doesn't drink beer, is high maintenance, and is shallow.... and the fact that you've been having a heck of a time out on your own, I'm starting to think you'd be better off without this one. jk

 

But, you can't argue with your heart....

 

One thing though... I don't like the comment about Gabe. Given that it has been a hot button with her, you don't want to threaten her (at least that is how I interpretted it). And anyway... it serves no purpose. If you are going to keep yourself and Gabe from her(and you have every right to), it doesn't need to be announced... you can just do it. Announcing it/threatening it just muddies the water... and you don't want Gabe to be a factor that brings her back anyway.

 

Just my $0.02.

[SincerlyHurt]

Good morning my extended family (how sad is that).

 

VetGirl, the letter is penned and hence done, if I go through with this that is what she is getting. I appreciate your concerns but .....I dont know.

 

S&D, you make good points about my enjoying my new life and realizing that I may not want to slow down enough to seek out mixed drinks for her when the beer is easily attainable and frosty. Analgous I know, but I think that sums up my thoughts today pretty well.

 

Gee, thank you for your words and all the support you give me, I don't know where I would be emotionally right now without people like you.

 

And so here I go, this has become routine and I don't even know if anyone cares but here is my day after update.

 

Twas a horribly rainy night, I was swept away by two of my best girl-friends from childhood. They said it was my call what we do last night and they are game for whatever. Well right now we have our county fair and rodeo going on and every year it is like a high school reunion but with about 6 different schools attending. Everyone goes out there.

 

We decided despite the rain to go out there to see the concert (good concert too). So we changed into "I dont give a damn" clothes because we knew it would be muddy. We get out there and go to the big booth where you must have an individual pass to get in, must be invited. We are getting our hands stamped at the door aand I turn around and HELLO!!! a tall, gorgeous blue eyed perfect bodied blonde, standing behind us with a guy. So we go in and I am eyeing this blonde and soon mosey on over to her and realize she is my ex's neighbor and childhood friend. I had not seen her in about 6 years. The guy she was with is her brother. So we hit it off wonderfully, hung out a good portion of the night. I got her number from her and will be calling her, we are supposed to go to a concert together next Sunday.

 

So a bit later we head over to the concert area and I am walking around with my gal-friend and see this girl who I can't place, but she looks familiar. Anyway, me being a silly guy make my gal-friend go walk by her and do a "ring check," no ring, good for me. So I pounce right up to her and tell her she looks familiar and that I just can't place her, she says the same to me. We get to talking and she is single and get this, she actually took my phone from me and programmed her number into it herself. That is the second time a girl has done this to me, Jess did the same thing. She is very cute but a bit young (22).

 

So right after that i walk back to my friends and behind them there is the girl I spoke of in an earlier thread, the one that I got kinda kinky with years back. Well she is standing there so I go talk to her and she tells me she called me already and that I gave her the wrong number. Hellllooooo, why are you calling me, you are married. Anyway, enough of her.

 

So I go back up towards the stage with my two gal-friends and proceed to just have a blast. I start making eyes with this little blonde to my right about 10 feet. Next thing you know I am over there dancing with her, close dancing. Then out of the blue she lays one on me. Good unexpected kiss, nothing wrong with that. I end up hanging out with her the rest of the night. She wanted to come home with me but I had to take my gal-friends home so she gave me her number and told me to come pick her up after I drop them off. It got too late to go through with that plan (at this point it's nearly 3 am) so I will just call her later, she heads back to school today anyway.

 

So thats where I stand now, no missing the ex, just a slight longing and a bit of wonderment about what could be, or could have been.

 

I am going to pursue the blonde, she told me I look like Mark Wahlberg, not the first time someone told me that. He was once an underwear model and we alluded to my maybe modeling some underwear for her privately. And this was all said 20 minutes after we met. Good times!!!

[GeeCee]

And so here it is .... Marky Mark!!!!

 

You had a good night, you have weighed up the pros and cons of mixers - v - beer, and at the moment, beer is a clear favourite.

 

I am delighted for YOU!!!

 

G xx

[vetgirl]

good luck Marky Mark. A comparison like that is surely a compliment. Mr. Calvin Klein is certainly a hottie!

[SincerlyHurt]

And so here we enter another Monday. Generally I am down in the dumps of singlehood on Mondays, sad because I wake up alone and face the whole week ahead solo. Last night was one of those sleepless nights, I just lie there wide eyed with thoughts. But it was different this time, the ex was not the marathon runner in my head, she passed by my thoughts a couple of times but I've begun to pity her, to feel sorry for her. Why you might ask? Because a week after we split she was in another relationship. She had not made the time for herself to evolve, to realize who she is without an attachment to someone else, to experience all that singlehood has to offer, and so much more. That poor girl.

 

And so, as I do, I am going to update you all on my night. I was content last night, relieved of stress because I worked my butt off yesterday and got alot of homework done. So about 9:00 I settle in with a DVD movie, just me.

 

First off I get a text message from "Jess", it is her dads B-Day and they are out celebrating and that she will call me later.

 

Secondly, the gal that laid a big ol kiss on me Saturday night has been calling like mad.

 

Thirdly, Canadian Chickie is coming around, starting to pursue. She called Saturday night just to tell me she was staying in, left that on voicemail. I had not returned her call. Last night at about 9:45 she calls and wants to go out, no friends, just "us." So Ok, I proceed to get ready.

 

Fourthly, as I am getting ready the tall blonde that i want to pursue calls me (dilemma fixed itself Gee!!! No worries). I am like DAMN!!! if she would have called 15 minutes earlier I could have taken her out last night, but I was not going to cancel on Canadian Chickie. So the tall blonde and I make plans for Sunday, and proceed to have very a flirty conversation. I told her that if I get enough of my homework out of the way today that I would like to get together with her tonight, she is game.

 

So I go ahead and pick up Canadian Chickie and we go to a swank little jazz bar. We sit and talk, she kinda knows the bartender and he keeps us rolling, very lively guy. We get to talking to everyone at the bar and really just enjoy ourselves. It's funny though, everytime I have been out with Canadian Chickie I have been approached by another woman.

 

Get this, we were sitting at the bar, I was at the end of the bar and this gal starts lingering behind me, my back is facing her because I am sitting sideways facing Canadian Chickie. So after a few minutes Canadian Chickie tells me I am getting eyes from the gal. I say noooo, she is not looking at me. About 5 minutes later as we are still hootin and hollerin with all the people at the bar the gal walks up and starts talking to me, while I am sitting there with Canadian Chickie. I play it cool though, just answer her questions, ask her some, I never did introduce myself and then quickly turned my attention back to Chickie.

 

All in all, we had a great time last night.

 

I am happy that the tall blonde took initiative to call me and that she is obviously very interested. Had I not already coined someone "Unicorn" she would be it, yes Gee, she is all that.

[SincerlyHurt]

I went through with sending the flowers, a Scooby Doo card (she loves Scooby) and "the letter". She e-mailed saying : "Thank you for the beautiful flowers, I wish I felt I deserved them". Her boss, my boss, etc. are there at her office in a meeting and she said she was caught crying by her boss and that she is teary eyed still and will call me later after work, I guess she plans on crying some more.

 

The thing is I will be with Canadian Chickie (she wants to start working out with me) by the time the ex gets off of work and if all goes right will be with Tall Blonde later tonight for dinner and on. Now if she calls and I have to ignore it and then cannot return it I look like the bad guy. Oh this world, what to do. This is fun.

 

Ok, now she just text messaged me and it read "Thank You. I will call you when I am alone." All I was expecting out of this was a Thank You, I did not expect her to call me. Wonder whats on her mind?

[GeeCee]

MarkyMark

 

I guess you are having another one of those days where the world just spins funny, where up is down, and white is black!!! It really does just get curiouser and curiouser.

 

G xx

[SincerlyHurt]

So Canadian Chickie and I ended up out last night and into the morning until nearly 5 am. I am off to work and she is still fast asleep in my bed and I don't have the heart to wake her. I enjoy our time together immensly, and she had me drinking red wine by the end of the night. She is scared because she knows my situation, but damn do I enjoy her. Must post back when I am alone.

 

See ya.

[SincerlyHurt]

Last night the ex called 3 times under the prefix of our school project. I answered her questions and she then lingered, she actually wanted me to bring up the relationship and the flowers. No, Im done with that so I just let her go each time.

 

Today I got this e-mail from her:

 

Thank you for your letter and the roses yesterday, but we cant keep

doing this. We are both hurting and trying to heal. You are very special

to me. I am not telling you to hurt you because that is the last thing I

want, but my heart is not with you whole heartedly. It doesnt mean that

I want to have nothing to do with you or that I dont care for you, but

I cant see or hear the pain you have and feel it myself all the time.

It is going to drive us both nuts. Besides that I dont understand how

you can feel so strongly for me but are bringing girls around my family;

to go out of your way to introduce some one new. If I did that with

your dad or your sister, you would have flipped. You go from one extreme

to the next. Last thursday, you didnt even want to talk to me. Are you

trying to make me crazy?

 

-----------------------------------------

 

And here is my response:

 

Babe, you are and will remain my #1 priority, I feel that strongly for you. I did not bring a new girl around your family, Stephanie is one of those independent "I am woman, hear me roar" ladies and we are just friends, I met her through some other friends. As I told you before, each week that goes by I lose a bit of what we had, that held so true this past weekend. I will not beg you back again because honestly I want you to just go, I am exhausted with you and have no drive to chase you anymore. I just wish you could experience life as I have over these past few months, you are truly missing out. I guess you will never get the chance to experience all that I have to offer and one day I will pity you for that, because you will wonder. I have tried and tried but now am just happy to be moving on, really I am. Life is splendid. I hope it is the same for you.

 

I barely remember last Thusday, the days seem to meld together now, but maybe I came off as not wanting to talk to you and if I did I am sorry. Truth being, when I am done with you - I am done with you. To be bluntly honest, I do not see any value in carrying on a friendship with you nor do I long for one. If we are done, thats it, end of story. I want you to go find your own life and not pop up into mine, do you understand what I am saying? Rekindle your friendships with Julie, etc, they miss you. I have no patience for you anymore, you once said "I know you said you have changed but talk is cheap, you need to prove it", well hell, it is evident I have changed and maybe the shortcomings are on your end, I see now that I may not have ever been happy with you. It is apparent in my new found glory that you, if we kept going the way we were, could not have kept me happy. Now starting over might be a different story but I suppose that will never happen. I guess what I am doing here is giving myself my own closure and in a way letting you off the hook because what you have done is just wrong, I would not wish this on my own worst enemy (and you know who that is). I cannot believe it took nine years for me to see the real you. I love your family to death and wish all of you the best in life. With endings come new beginnings, and I am reveling in that fact!!

 

Love,

 

XXXX

 

-------------------------------------

 

So here is the end of my road, Im done and content with my actions.

 

Good for me.

[LittleSister]

Finally, you have done everything you possibly can, and now you are content in your own decision. You can now fully live your own life and get what you deserve. You are having such a great time out there meeting new and interesting people. You are finally seeing the differences between your ex and the other girls and you are finding those differences to be enjoyable. You are experiencing everything that you have missed out on because you have been tied down so long. Enjoy it now and get it all out of your system. And find someone you know can keep up with you. And keep us informed if she responds to your response. But, ultimately, move on.

[SincerlyHurt]

Hey sis, I will keep you informed of her response, but she had school today and I sent it about 12 minutes too late. She will probably see it tonight.

 

Well, went to Canadian Chickies restaurant for dinner. Why is it that when I am around a girl that interests me that is when all the other ones call. I got a call from Jess, Tall Blonde, the gal that kissed me last weekend (what can we name her?), and CPA-girlie. Whew.

 

Canadian Chickie is definitely interested now. She wants me to take off work tonight and do something with her but I don't think I will, too much studying to do.

 

Tall Blonde is meeting me out after I get out of school tomorrow night. My life is progressing sooo fast my head is spinning.

 

I am super stressed about school tomorrow, I have 3 presentations to give in 3 different classes. I will be so happy when tomorrow is over. Wish me luck.

 

GeeCee, I am sorry I have been missing you, we shall catch up soon. I hope everyone is well.

 

LosingHope, if you are still reading my thread I am going to get with you about your questions on Thursday. Sorry, Im really busy until tomorrow.

[SincerlyHurt]

The ex has read the latest e-mail and she is absolutely gripping with everything she has, but she is still with the other guy. She just called crying, saying she cannot understand my hot/cold swings. I told her I am through, done. She can sense ho w happy I am.

 

Someone must have seen me with Tall Blonde last weekend because she knows and was crying about that. What right does she have? She was full of questions about my dating life. Apparently I am over her and she is not over me.

 

I asked her what she wants my role to be and she does not know how to answer that, she dodges the question. I cannot believe she is upset about my dating. She went so far as to tell me that I don't know what I am getting myself into with Tall Blonde, how shallow is she to say something like that? She wanted to know all about how we met, who came on to who, etc.

 

Funny how things flip flop over the course of a weekend. This time I will not ask her back or talk to her like I did last time she broke down two weeks ago. School tomorrow will be very interesting, if she shows up.

 

The upper hand is mine now.

[SincerlyHurt]

Ok, the ex has officially flipped out. I did a little investigating this morning and it is evident that she found out about Tall Blonde (they were best friends in childhood, and neighbors) by looking at my caller ID when she came to get the dog last night.

 

She called up until after midnight last night, sometimes I would answer, sometimes I was on the other line and would ignore her. She has already started bad-mouthing Tall Blonde, how sad does that make her look? HaHa. Well, now she wants to know where we met, who came on to who, etc.

 

Oh, and when she came by last night all the empty bottles of wine and the wine glasses from the other night with Canadian Chickie were still out. She mentioned that too. She wants to know what girl her family saw me with last weekend (Chickies friend). All in all she sees she is losing me and she is scared. She wants me there, to have her cake and eat it too. I really, really do not want to take her back, not now, not at this point. I want to experience other things first, I am having too much fun to slow down for a relationship with her.

 

Canadian Chickie called last night around 11:00 and wanted me to go out with her. That would have made it the third night in a row that we wuld have been together. I think she likes me, it took a while but she is on my hook now.

 

This weekend is sure to be tricky, Canadian Chickie has the weekend off but I will probably be with Tall Blonde most of it, at least if things go well with us tonight. I am picking Tall Blonde up after school and we are going to see a band.

 

What fun singlehood is. I hope all of you reading this can gain some knowledge from my experiences. Just know that there is more out there, people are replaceable. Read back in the beginnings of my thread and see how devastated I was, how I longed for the ex night and day. And then realize how time heals all, how just living for yourself and becoming self absorbed (because you can) helps. When we are the dumpees we owe nobody nothing, find out who you are without an attachment to that other person, be independent. You may just find you like yourself better as a person without the ex. I did. You should see some of the e-mail I am getting from my childhood girl-friends, they are so happy to have me back going out with them. I got an e-mail from one of them this morning asking me to fit them in my schedule in two weeks, how cool is that. I stay that busy now. Fact of the matter is, you must get out there, meet new people, experience new things. Ok, Im off to class.

 

Bye

[majord23]

SH,

I cannot put into words how happy your story made me. I was reading the latest developments with a HUGE grin on my face.

Mate, that email you sent was brilliant. It has taken her by surprise, and I could sense the conviction and sincerity in your words and I don't even know you. Spectacular my friend

 

It never ceases to amaze me when exes say "I don't like hurting you, you should move on, I can't give you what you want"....but the moment that we act on their words (moving on, cutting ties) they completely freak.

 

She was having her cake and devouring it SH, and now you have whisked it away. You can rest easy knowing that you have given your all....now that you have taken your 'all' away, you can bet that she will come looking for it.

 

As you said, you have the upper hand....not that I think I have to tell you but *don't lose it*!.

 

Congrats again bro

[GeeCee]

At the risk of being flamed by all the vengeful dumpees, and MarkyMark you know that I adore you, I actually disagree with the email that you sent. Merely MY opinion and I know that you have your reasons. And I disagree with Majord's vote of confidence for sending it.

 

I completely understand that you are saying to the ex that you will NOT ALLOW her to have her cake and eat it and treat you as a security blanket. Completely agree with that. However, personally, I think that it is a poor show to tell someone that you have spent your entire adult life with, that 'you didn't really love them'. I do not think that that needed to be said. On the one hand, you have told her that she is your priority and remains so, on the other you have told her that you are done with her. Now .... who is delivering the mixed messages?

 

MarkyMark, you have gone from SincerelyHurt to SincerelyHumping in a very, very short space of time. You have talked about how much fun you are having and we ALL APPLAUD THAT!!!! All of us. But I don't think that you can possibly know yourself any more now than you did three months ago, because by all accounts, you do not spend any time alone. You are radiant only in the company of others.

 

Don't be angry with me, this is my opinion, and it would not be the first time if I was way of base and, indeed, way out of line.

 

I emphasise, I am happy that you are moving on. However, don't make it at the expense of others.

 

G xx

[majord23]

At the risk of being flamed by all the vengeful dumpees, and MarkyMark you know that I adore you, I actually disagree with the email that you sent. Merely MY opinion and I know that you have your reasons. And I disagree with Majord's vote of confidence for sending it.

At the risk of bearing GeeCee's wrath, I will reiterate my belief that SH has done the right thing. 'Vengeful dumpee' is a hat that I have worn in the past, but that is not my reason for endorsing this action.

 

 

I completely understand that you are saying to the ex that you will NOT ALLOW her to have her cake and eat it and treat you as a security blanket. Completely agree with that.

And that is the essense of his email.

 

 

However, personally, I think that it is a poor show to tell someone that you have spent your entire adult life with, that 'you didn't really love them'. I do not think that that needed to be said.

I don't recall reading anything that said that SH didn't really love her...I will re-read it again and if I'm wrong I agree with you G, but I don't remember seeing it.

 

On the one hand, you have told her that she is your priority and remains so, on the other you have told her that you are done with her. Now .... who is delivering the mixed messages?

The way I read it, SH was responding to his ex's statement about bringing a new girl to meet her family. He was making the point that in circumstances like that, her feelings would be his number one priority and he would always be mindful of her if such a situation *did* arise.

 

 

MarkyMark, you have gone from SincerelyHurt to SincerelyHumping in a very, very short space of time. You have talked about how much fun you are having and we ALL APPLAUD THAT!!!! All of us. But I don't think that you can possibly know yourself any more now than you did three months ago, because by all accounts, you do not spend any time alone. You are radiant only in the company of others.

Yes, SH is out having a good time and it should be applauded. He hasn't jumped into a relationship and is enjoying being single. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to go out when you're broken hearted....but as hard as it is it is alot better than sitting at home waiting for an ex to change their mind (I've done both ).

 

The bottom line from my point of view is that SH has been strung along, his ex knowingly or unknowingly keeping him as a safety net. His email tells her that enough is enough and he is moving on. Yes, there are some harsh themes running through it, but no more harsh than the ordeal that his ex has put him through.

 

He had 2 choices:

1) Remain passive whilst being taken for granted, taking all of the emotional turmoil that goes with it....all the while smiling and pretending that 'everything's ok' OR

 

2) Stand up for himself, tell her what he thinks of her behaviour and walk away whilst maintaining his self respect.

 

Thankfully, in my opinion, he chose the latter.

 

Exes are not Gods, they are not above reproach nor should they be handled with 'kid gloves' (heaven forbid we should hurt *their* feelings)....yet I see alot of people excuse behaviour from them that we would not accept from anyone else we care about.

 

GeeCee, y'know I've got much love for ya, but I disagree with you. x

[Hopingpraying]

I agree with GC, I somewhat agree with Majord, and I think SH is doing the right thing... Let me explain.....

 

GC, I haven't went back to read SH email I read it a few days ago, whenever it was first posted, but I don't remember if he said he never loved her. If he did, shame on him. You should never say that unless you mean it, and I don't think SH did. I believe he loved her and still does.

 

Majord, I agree with what you are saying because even though GC is right that SH has not had enough alone time, as long as he doesn't get right back into a serious relationship he will be okay. Dating is alright in my book as long as you make it clear to whomever you are dating that you have no intentions of taking it any further than dating.

 

 

SH, I really wish I were in your shoes, while I have gone out on one or two dates I just feel really guilty about it because leagally I am still married and my divorce will not be finall until August 10th. It sucks. I am not sure which way to go. Do I not consider it adultry or do I? I know most people won't, but I am trying to bring god into my life and follow his rules too so I don't know what to do.

 

Keep up the discussion guys, this really helps us all to see about peoples success.

 

SH, I think you should continue to date, but please don't get involved into a serious relationship with any of these women. I don't think it will be healthy for you or them at this point. You still have work to do, but you need to concentrate on yourself while keeping your mind off your EX.

 

Good luck!!

[GeeCee]

Hoping&Praying

 

I think that whether MarkyMark gets involved with any one of the women he is having a fabulous time with or not is largely irrelevant. Ultimately, at the rate that he is going, it is sod's law, that one of the women will get emotionally involved with him. Hence my concern, both for him, because I know that he does not want to hurt anyone, and for the women, because I know how that feels.

 

MaryMark, as I see it, you are becoming a player!! As long as the women involved with you KNOW this and are happy with this, there is no problem. I have never intimated you should become a monk - NOT MY STYLE!!! All I am saying is, that in this healing process, there has to be time alone for reflection and development, and from your post I do not think that you are allowing for that.

 

Again, only MY opinion.

 

G xx

[trulyDee]

I think the not-so-spontaneous men, and the not-so-exciting men...etc etc tend to fall by the wayside where women are concerned. We ALL want the bad boy. The safe, nice guy is no challenge.

 

Sad, but true.

[GeeCee]

Hi TrulyDee

 

Well, I hold my hands up!!! In the past, I loved bad boys, and had no problem with using and abusing them and being used and abused by them. All part of the fun of being around a spontaneous and exciting bad boy!!! But then I grew up, and realised that I wanted to be in a committed and loving relationship.

 

And I am glad for my epiphany.

 

G xx