Why do all quality girls have boyfriends??

[monkey123]

This is really starting to piss me off, every single girl that I have been interested in or have been very attracted to has a boyfriend. It is really kind of rediculious. I am 20 years old and have never had a girlfriend, but I know and my friends both guys and girls told me I would be the best boyfriend... and honostly I completely agree. Only problem is... all these girls I have been interested in are in a relationship. Why?? Do woman have insecurities so they always have to be with someone or something? Should I try to steal these girls from their boyfriends? Is that how people my age have to get a girl is by stealing them from another guy?

 

I am a good looking guy who is smart, talented, athletic, I feel like I have all the qualities a girl would want but am I being too passive or something.

 

I just want to know where have all the single girls gone? Does a guy have to be super aggressive these days to get a girl?

[hers]

I'm a quality girl and I don't have a boyfriend.

 

I don't think it's fair of you to say they are all insecure so they have to be someone. That's not your place to say at all. Dating is natural. Relationships are natural. These girls are in relationships b/c it's natural.

 

You need to look other places.

[Sparkly Eyes]

the same reason that most quality guys are taken,lol.

[COtuner]

As I recollect, when I was your age, there was a lot of thievery going on as guys and girls bounced around relationships. Not saying I approve of that, but it's usually what happened around the dorms.

[monkey123]

school, work, weddings, parties, college... where else so I look? You know it is very true in some cases, of course not all cases. Of course not all woman are with a guy because of insecurities but honostly... at my age... there r plenty that are.

[hers]

school, work, weddings, parties, college... where else so I look? You know it is very true in some cases, of course not all cases. Of course not all woman are with a guy because of insecurities but honostly... at my age... there r plenty that are.

 

regardless, it's not your place to say why they're with guys.

 

have you tried online dating?

[laisla]

if they are of quality then why would they be insecure and need to be with someone?

[monkey123]

regardless, it's not your place to say why they're with guys.

 

have you tried online dating?

 

i have too much pride to resort to online dating at the age of 20

[simply complicated]

If your 20 years old and have never had a girlfriend, then you might wanna rethink your qualities.

 

The reason good girls are taken, is because they are, GOOD girls, they are hard to find but once a guy does find them, he's all over them, I would say be patient, but seems like you've waited long enough, your just looking in the wrong places.

[monkey123]

If your 20 years old and have never had a girlfriend, then you might wanna rethink your qualities.

 

The reason good girls are taken, is because they are, GOOD girls, they are hard to find but once a guy does find them, he's all over them, I would say be patient, but seems like you've waited long enough, your just looking in the wrong places.

 

well there is no question i do have problems with woman, when I get a number (its been a while since) but I never make the phone call because I tell myself, no they arent interested she was just being nice.

[hers]

well there is no question i do have problems with woman, when I get a number (its been a while since) but I never make the phone call because I tell myself, no they arent interested she was just being nice.

 

that's not the girls' fault.

[monkey123]

I'm a quality girl and I don't have a boyfriend.

 

I don't think it's fair of you to say they are all insecure so they have to be someone. That's not your place to say at all. Dating is natural. Relationships are natural. These girls are in relationships b/c it's natural.

 

You need to look other places.

 

At my age it seems like all the 20 ish year old girls are dating older guys and experimenting with that. Im sure there are plenty of quality girls that are single... just never the ones I talk to.

[simply complicated]

Believe me, i'm no wizard with women either, but their everywhere, your bound to find one, and it seems your not as confident as you first described if your assuming their not interested in you everytime you get a number.

 

What about at work, school or the gym? do you go out to bars or clubs with friends?

[ur02111222]

I think you probably already answered your own question. If you are too passive, why should a woman want to date you? Sure, there are women who like passive men, but if the man is too passive, what's to stop him from always being placed in "friend-zone." If you meet a girl you would like to get to know better and potentially date, ask her out on a proper date! Don't avoid it! Face it and make it happen.

 

Also, you may just have a classic syndrome that affects men and women: wanting what you cannot have-the one already with a significant other. Instead of wasting your time on women who are already taken, DON'T!

 

Stealing another man's girlfriend is no good either. If you manage to do this, you've definitely not stolen a so-called "good-girl" because she is clearly willing to cheat on or leave her boyfriend-she will only leave you too.

 

And I personally take offense in you insinuating that there are no good women left out there. I'm smart, in school, get good grades, can keep a good conversation going, have many talents, and am not bad to look at either. The right guy has just not come along, and I'm not one to date someone just to date someone. So yeah, maybe some of those women are insecure-what does that say about them?

 

 

Just keep looking and actually make an effort to ask out the next women who interests you. The worst thing that could happen is that she says no-then ask out another. I think you should make a promise to yourself to not be passive and to ask out the next 3 or 4 women who intrigue you-single ones of course. Plenty intelligent, talented, and attractive women out there still.

 

 

ETA: One more thing-stop making excuses for self-created problems.

[monkey123]

Believe me, i'm no wizard with women either, but their everywhere, your bound to find one, and it seems your not as confident as you first described if your assuming their not interested in you everytime you get a number.

 

What about at work, school or the gym? do you go out to bars or clubs with friends?

 

I have no confidence when I should. I think im ugly even though I have been told otherwise all the time and do have woman that want to be with me but I am not interested in them. I do get signals from girls to talk to them with eye contact and smiles but I usually dont smile back and look at the ground.

 

You guys are good... I am a coward for reasons I dont know. I guess im kind of happy when a girl says she has a boyfriend because I use it as a scapegoat to give up. When a girl gives me a chance I have ruined it every time in my life and I get really down on myself and dwell on it.

 

Just this weekend I was at a wedding and this very beautiful girl my age was dancing and I was dancing close to her. We continued to make eye contact with each other many times and I noticed her kind of gravitating closer to me. I knew what I needed to do... but I just could'nt get myself to do it. I ended up just getting hammered drunk (i use that as another coward way of getting out of my fear of trying to get a girl) and then went up to her later that night... waaay too late and she saw I was drunk and just blew me off. Then I was sad about it because I was thinking why did I get rejected like that. All night everyone has been complementing me on how handsome I look and how great of a person I was that night and yet I dont even have the confidence to talk to a girl.

 

I am my only problem I have been posting on this site for 2 years now and I have made 0 progress and I just am so close to giving up on it.

[diabolik]

I think you need to start a thread on the real issue, not this red herring of a thread topic.

[simply complicated]

Your not the problem, your lack of experience is the problem, don't think your alone when you say your down on yourself, because everyone is down on themselves in one degree or another, thats what makes us human, just take comfort in knowing that when you do these things, such as scapegoating, know that every guy, either now or at one point in his life has done it.

So, you really shouldn't get ahead of yourself, how do you please the girl of your dreams when you really don't know what your doing? I think you should start dating more, nothing serious, just take out one of those girls that like you, get a feel for it, you should'nt go out looking for a serious relationship, cause odds are, you won't find one, just let it happen, it will come to you, stay social, and keep busy with your life.

 

You talk about scapegoats, man, this one time, I was fooling around with this girl in my house, and I was sooo nervous, that when it came time to do it, I couldn't, so I used me being "drunk" as an excuse and that our friends were in the next room and all that crap, so trust me, your not alone..lol.

[monkey123]

You talk about scapegoats, man, this one time, I was fooling around with this girl in my house, and I was sooo nervous, that when it came time to do it, I couldn't, so I used me being "drunk" as an excuse and that our friends were in the next room and all that crap, so trust me, your not alone..lol.

 

Hahaha I know exactly what your talking about. I had this really hot girl, my ex prom date naked on a bed and I couldnt get a hard on because I was so nervous and I was like... Im too drunk to get a hard on... really embaressing.. specially when I went downstairs and all my friends were like piimmp...

 

And only problem is the 2 girls that like me I guess tell their friends they are inlove with me. One is a close friend of mine and one is a weird girl I want nothing to do with. I dont want to lead on the girl who is my friend by taking her out because she would take it hard when I broke it off.

 

But thanks for the support man, I just dont know what to do at this point.

[monkey123]

I think you need to start a thread on the real issue, not this red herring of a thread topic.

 

I didn't mean for this post to come off the way it did, but at the community college that I go to right now it just really seems like almost every single girl I see is holding hands with some guy or talking about their boyfriend. It was a real issue that I was serious about, I think I worded it wrong when I said "all quality girls" because we all know that isnt true.

[diabolik]

I didn't mean for this post to come off the way it did, but at the community college that I go to right now it just really seems like almost every single girl I see is holding hands with some guy or talking about their boyfriend. It was a real issue that I was serious about, I think I worded it wrong when I said "all quality girls" because we all know that isnt true.

Look dude, you're not even calling the single girls whose numbers you get. Even if every girl you're interested in is single, you'd still have a problem, right?

[monkey123]

Look dude, you're not even calling the single girls whose numbers you get. Even if every girl you're interested in is single, you'd still have a problem, right?

 

Well this is true for the most part in my life, but I have been trying to man up for the last 6 months and find a girl to call. And I have told myself that I am going to be more aggressive and going to just put myself out there and take the chance of being rejected... the only problem is every girl I try for is taken. I would make the call at this point in my life, I probably wouldnt be good at it but I would get myself to make the call if given the chance.

 

I got a number today of an old friend, she is my best friends ex girlfriend and me and her have never looked at each other in a way past friendship, besides her I havent gotten a number in a looooong time.

[simply complicated]

Look at this way, you can't learn anything until you make the mistakes to learn from, your afraid of looking like a complete bird infront of some chick, but until you do that, your always gonna be making excuses, just go out there and make a fool of yourself, who cares, you don't wanna wake up one day 40 years old still afraid to call women.

[diabolik]

Well this is true for the most part in my life, but I have been trying to man up for the last 6 months and find a girl to call. And I have told myself that I am going to be more aggressive and going to just put myself out there and take the chance of being rejected... the only problem is every girl I try for is taken. I would make the call at this point in my life, I probably wouldnt be good at it but I would get myself to make the call if given the chance.

Well, not every girl who tells you she's taken is telling the truth. The "I have a bf" excuse just happens to be the easiest and most effective way to brush a guy off.

[monkey123]

Look at this way, you can't learn anything until you make the mistakes to learn from, your afraid of looking like a complete bird infront of some chick, but until you do that, your always gonna be making excuses, just go out there and make a fool of yourself, who cares, you don't wanna wake up one day 40 years old still afraid to call women.

 

You are 100% right and I have to start working on that asap.

[Syn77]

I know how you feel man. I'm the same way. I'm 19 and never had a girlfriend. I seem to always be attracted the girls who have a boyfriend that is an * * * * * * * or is surround by guys who are assholes that just want to get in their pants. These girls also are the "quality" ones. The ones who we see for who they really are in the inside and not just the hot/attractive girl on the outside.

 

I wouldn't say that they're insecure though. I would say that they haven't found the right one who they deserve. It's like in my last thread "why do girls go back to their ex-boyfriends". Sure it's not just girls or all of them but guys as well. The girl i'm after kept getting back to her ex, the one who kept treating her like * * * * , but felt like she couldn't be without him. She's also the type of girl who all guys want to get on... bunch of tools.

 

If you try and steal her away and are successful, then she is either really easy or i dunno. I wanted to do the same thing but she's single now but i have to fend off all the other fools who want her.

 

I'm the same way. I have all the qualities that a douchebag doesn't. what is it that these guys have that you don't or what have they done or said to get them to come your way. Is this how you feel?