Zander Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Its just that, it could be an ex-girlfriend or someone i had a thing with or slept with.. and although I move on and temporarily remove them from my head, if i see them or suddenly think about them i feel the same way i did when i was seeing them. So i've been going out with my girlfriend for nearly 2 years and when i see these other girls, on things like facebook or in public, i cant help but wish i was with them, all my feelings just return. One of my worries is that this is because i don't really love my girlfriend in the end, but that is another issue all together. Any thoughts or similar stories, this really worries me, I am probably one of those guys who could end up doing something stupid with their ex girlfriend at their own wedding. Although thats a slight exaggeration. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 sounds like you aren't that into your gf. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I agreee with Ghsot. If your with someone you really like and care about your glad and proud to be with them. You might find other people attractive but NOT wish you were with them. Break up with her if you dont think you can be faithful or try and understand and work on WHY you feel like this. Link to comment
rocio Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Did you feel this way in previous relationships? Link to comment
waveseer Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 If you are finding it difficult to love the one you're with then maybe you're with the wrong one. Link to comment
Zeitgeist Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Or you simply want what you don't have. Grass Is Greener Syndrome (GIGS), is what we call it on this board. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 ^^^first i've seen of that acronym. anyways, i do agree to an extent. the whole grass is greener thing is usually because the person you are with isn't enough for you. Link to comment
Zander Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 Yea i seriously don't seem to lose my feelings towards previous women, to the point that i feel if they rocked up to my doorway i would be helpless. I think this is all connected though to other aspects of me, I find myself attracted to certain types of woman very easily and i fall for them just as easily. Then once i'm in a relationship with them i become very picky and unsatisfied with the deeper aspects of their personality or other things about them. Mmm maybe i'm a mess lol. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Maybe you jump into quickly? And you should wait and see just what it is you like about them other than what your intitially attracted too? Do you think it would be fairer to your gf to end things before youc cheat? Perhaps you could go to counselling to get to the root of all this. Link to comment
Zander Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 Jumping in too quickly is hard to put down as a problem because I never really lose attraction once i get it, I know if i left my girlfriend now I would be jealous and at times miss her during my next relationship. I don't really understand counseling but i've always wondered about it. I think a lot and analyze a lot of things and i never have someone i can talk to about them. So i've actually always wondered if counsellings would be the kind of thing that would be good for me. lol Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I think it would be good to have a different opinion on how you feel. I just think its strange you want to be with other girls but would miss her if you were. Link to comment
Zander Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 It could be normal and i'm just analyzing it to far, it could be that i'm just not that into my girlfriend. The gentleman who quoted the Grass Is Greener Syndrome (GIGS) sounds pretty spot on to me, I am just never happy with what i have, which is human. What i need to struggle with now is if i'm not satisfied with my girlfriend will i ever be satisfied with any other girl. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 yep that is totally human to not be happy with what you have. But you can learn to be which is why I reccomend counselling. Perhaps you just havent found the right girl yet>? Link to comment
Zander Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 See i don't really believe in this 'right girl' ideal, i've come to a conclusion that what really exists is 'closest thing to right girl' and once you find that you need to settle for some things you might not like, or try to adjust them. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I dont believe in settling. I believe there is someone that might have flaws but you love them and accept them anyway. MAybe your problem is that your settling. Link to comment
Zander Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 Well i love some aspects of my girlfriend but others i don't love and although that so far sounds normal, problem is its like 50% of her that i don't like and 50% i do. Mmm is this discussion silly? lol I dont wanna drag it on.. but i cant help it! lol Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 No its not at all! Its establishing why you feel this way. You should love a hundred percent of her, and the bits you dont like, you should be able to get over and accept. No ones perfect. Maybe you feel you have settled and theres better out there for you? Link to comment
Jessica45 Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Were you like this with the previous girls? Link to comment
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