Don't know where my priorities lie anymore....

[sphinx999]

Hi, I don't know where my priorities lie between my boyfriend and friends. It used to be so clear but now it isn't. I guess I better explain my situation.

I have been going out with my former best mate for 5months on saturday, in the morning I am doing a car wash to raise money and am busy and in the afternoon I am just hanging with him.

I was planning on going prom dress shopping, a prom to which my boyfriend is not going, so I cancelled the shopping spree. Now my mates want me to go shopping too on saturday and they are great mates who I would do almost anything for, but I had to refuse because it would really hurt my boyfriend if I did it. Then one of them abuses the fact I enjoy car washes and says I am immature and it really hurt although I think she was joking. I haven't been out with my mates for a while because two of them were grounded until a few weeks ago and I am skint and have been a bit ill. I feel like I am letting them down but I try to spend time with them at school to make up for it.

What should I do?

sphinx

ps also recently I have been getting depressed and have cried on my boyfriend a few times, he is always there and i can open up to him, not something I can do to anyone except my sister. My mates don't know I am going back to my old ways and i don't mean selfharm and that I am really unhappy. If they did they would try to help me but I don't want help it smothers me, I have only just escaped from a shrink counsellor and mentor and I am not ready for that again, so i keep it quiet.

I trust them but I am not an open person and am too self sufficient(crying on my boyfriend was not intentional, I just couldn,t stop)

[KatieCutie0]

There isnt much i can say except this quote is not about the breaths you take, Its about the moments that take your breathe away.

when ever i hear that quote or think about it, it helps me to sort out my priorities. You may have heard it before, and i hope im not "preaching to the choir"... but i hope it helps you. Good luck.

[neva_black_n_white]

ive always found that spilling out your emotions on one person doesnt seem to help things. for example, at the minute my family is going through a really rough time, my sisters been diagnosed with despression, she thought she was going strong until she had to take six weeks off from her job due to stress again and going gown the same hurtful route as you, and because of the emotions being placed only on one person till too later we believe our mother is also becoming clinically depressed. pretty stressful really, because our families breaking up, grandparents and the lot, so what im trying to show is, by applying so many emotions on one person firstly can leave them stressed, and even though they say a problem shared is a problem halved, doesnt that mean that the other half piles up on the person youve spoke to? maybe your mates are stressed out and retaliating the way they do.

 

i think you should at least attempt to talk to your friends, and if this girl, who was insulting, and likely to be arrogant and self consumed in her life had known i dont think she would have acted the way she did, i think that friends need to be given at least some input, because even when they make jokes when usually if the atmosphere was right it would be taken that way, sometimes it isnt.

 

and im sure infact 100% that she will apologise for her actions. the thing is with your friends, you need to be able to tell them whats wrong and how you should or shouldnt be treated, you dont want pity, or to be consumed in help but more so a good ear to listen to.

 

i dont know i reakon im babbling on.

''im sorry''

 

kel

x

[Nifty_Swifty1]

You're young babe. Your friends should be your first priority at the moment, but you should try and split your time up between the two. 5 years down the line some of those friends are likely to still keep in touch with you. The b/f probably won't be there any more.

 

As for the depression, everyone goes through that at some point in there life. You just have to keep a stiff upper lip and keep moving. Things can't stay that bad.

 

God bless

[sphinx999]

Thanks for your advice people, yes I had an idea everything wasn't peachy in her life at the moment. I also try not to laden my problems on to my boyfriend to thick because I know how he can get. But he knows when I keep things from him, I agree he may not be there for me always but I still need to keep him top so he gets 5% more attention. At the moment I have decided to try and help my friends whos gran has sufferer a mini stroke and whos step dad hit her tonight. I know the girl was joking and I just take things wrong sometimes, Idon't get sarcasm.

thank you all

sphinx xxxx