Now what am I suppose to do

[nem69]

I thought it was ended with the email I sent

 

 

 

But now I have got an email back. I want to be back with her and don't know what to do!

 

Hi mate

I am sorry that you feel that i don't care about this friendship, because that is absolutely not the case. Yes i have been busy with a new relationship, but also with my kids! I do still care about you and am still interested in what is going on in your life. The fact that we are no longer in a relationship, does not mean that we can't still be friends.

Anyway, how are you? How's Plym ? and how is work going? How are you doing with the degree?

I still haven't finished decorating! am beginning to get in gear for report writing, trying to sort Nadia's finance for uni and am trying to encourage my class to get on and revise for their SATs! Dave showed me how to work the mower, so the lawn is looking better now!

Sorry I couldn't come with you to see Buckcherry - Hope you have a good time.

anyway, take care. ----

[Decaf08]

Leave it at that,

 

As far as things are concerned:

 

a) she's still in a relationship

b) she's moving on fine in her life, her relationship, her kids, everything else

without you

 

Most importantly, actions always speak louder than words. In this case, the fact that she's asking you these questions after you've made the complaint that she's forgotten about the "friendship" seems to be a forced attempt at doing friend-like activities.

 

You can be friends, but not right now. The fact that you're in the backburner, and everything else takes priority over you is not a good sign. Do your best to move on man.

 

Stay Strong

[Sn0man]

It seems she's moved on, and is trying to be polite/cordial with you. I think it's time you moved on from this and started putting the focus back on yourself, rather than on her.

[nem69]

well now shes messaged me on messenger even though I thought shed deleted me and I had deleted her. She is determined to sort it out.

[catfeeder]

Her determination is to make herself feel better after you heaped guilt onto her. That's not friendship on her part--or yours, it's just her squirming under your manipulation. And it won't get you what you want.

 

I agree with the other folks, you're best off avoiding contact. You're not ready. That's not some moral finger-wag, it's practical and it's about self-preservation and healing and retaining your dignity. Guilting someone into contact isn't any of those things.

 

Head high, and in your corner.

[OziJack]

Her determination is to make herself feel better after you heaped guilt onto her. That's not friendship on her part--or yours, it's just her squirming under your manipulation. And it won't get you what you want.

 

I agree with the other folks, you're best off avoiding contact. You're not ready. That's not some moral finger-wag, it's practical and it's about self-preservation and healing and retaining your dignity. Guilting someone into contact isn't any of those things.

 

Head high, and in your corner.

 

Golden advice.

[OziJack]

But now I have got an email back. I want to be back with her and don't know what to do!

 

 

 

This is one of those tragic situations which, from an observers POV, looks fairly sad and pathetic.

Nem, she does not want to be in a relationship with you because she has made (or is making ) a life with someone else. Your time with her is done.

Your attempts to force a "friendship" on her are not in your best interests either. I suspect that you are seeing this friendship as away of keeping the door ajar to allow a tiny beam of hope to shine through in case she changes her mind. Her behavior says that the door is slammed firmly shut, even though she is being civil to you.

 

Time to steam ahead, captain.

[nem69]

This is one of those tragic situations which, from an observers POV, looks fairly sad and pathetic.

Nem, she does not want to be in a relationship with you because she has made (or is making ) a life with someone else. Your time with her is done.

Your attempts to force a "friendship" on her are not in your best interests either. I suspect that you are seeing this friendship as away of keeping the door ajar to allow a tiny beam of hope to shine through in case she changes her mind. Her behavior says that the door is slammed firmly shut, even though she is being civil to you.

 

Time to steam ahead, captain.

 

Actually, she was the one forcing the friendship on me. If she didn't want it why did she start messaging me on messenger again.

Was a long chat we had where I got her to finally tell me what happened. Some I was right on in that she panicked when we became engaged and some ere a little unexpected in she felt I talked at her friends telling the same old stories (which I confess do have a habit of)

Basically she ended that she really wanted us to be friends.

[OziJack]

Actually, she was the one forcing the friendship on me. If she didn't want it why did she start messaging me on messenger again.

Was a long chat we had where I got her to finally tell me what happened. Some I was right on in that she panicked when we became engaged and some ere a little unexpected in she felt I talked at her friends telling the same old stories (which I confess do have a habit of)

Basically she ended that she really wanted us to be friends.

 

I have read all your email 'material' and it is rather confusing, as is your reply.

Ultimately, you are NOT doing either one of you any favors by maintaining a friendship in these circumstances. She and you are DONE. It did not work, and now she is with another man. Game over.

IF I were in your shoes I would go NC, and turn my energies toward someone else.

[catfeeder]

I have read all your email 'material' and it is rather confusing, as is your reply.

Ultimately, you are NOT doing either one of you any favors by maintaining a friendship in these circumstances. She and you are DONE. It did not work, and now she is with another man. Game over.

IF I were in your shoes I would go NC, and turn my energies toward someone else.

 

Yep. Playing safety net for an ex helps them move on while you stagnate in your own pain. I'd be the one moving on.

 

In your corner.

[nem69]

Well since I said that she should be the one to do the communicating and I haven't heard anything since I shall carry on not sending anything. She wants it she can work for it.