grymoire Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 to be honest i was very uninterested in dating him in the beginning. even after he approached me yet again at the swim park. the first date i just didnt feel his personality swung with mine. so i was further uninterested. when i found out he was still married i called it off immediately and we didnt speak for 3 months. went out to dinner just for fun/meaning not a date and everything just clicked personality wise. that was the deciding difference. its actually a stroke of luck that i ever changed my mind. and his persistance was a catalyst. so.. sorry to break your idea of 'attractive guys get the girl because they are attractive' rule. because his looks got him practically nowhere with me. if anything i was naturally more weary. Thanks EqD. But to be honest I am even more surprised now. He kept coming on to you... In general women find that clingy and will be wondering "yuck doesn't he get the message?". BUT you term it as persistence and gave him a chance. There must have been something going for him for you to do that. Link to comment
EQD Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Thanks EqD. But to be honest I am even more surprised now. He kept coming on to you... In general women find that clingy and will be wondering "yuck doesn't he get the message?". BUT you term it as persistence and gave him a chance. There must have been something going for him for you to do that. to be honest it was out of boredom. and for the sake of giving things a chance i agreed. he wasnt terribly pushy like that one guy that walked up to me at the show, but he did remind me that he'd like to hang out. and that he was interested. I didnt have anything else going on so i ran out of excuses not to. It was me who invited him to the fated dinner that set it all off. This was because i just had a change of mindset the weekend prior that lead me into a purely 'go out and just have fun' mood. He happened to text me one night that i wanted sushi--so i encouraged him to meet me. Link to comment
EQD Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Whats really going to screw with your mind was that when i was 11-12 i was obsessed with him and thought he was the sexiest thing i'd ever laid eyes on. As an adult i was indifferent about his looks and disinterested in meeting him. Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Whats really going to screw with your mind was that when i was 11-12 i was obsessed with him and thought he was the sexiest thing i'd ever laid eyes on. As an adult i was indifferent about his looks and disinterested in meeting him. hmm.. so you knew him for quite some time... OK, what is your opinion about online dating? don't you think looks play a major role there? Also, I am no more in college. And it is never recommended to date a co-worker. So how do I put myself in situations where women can see my personality as well (as opposed to doing the cold approaches that i have been doing lately)? Link to comment
EQD Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 hmm.. so you knew him for quite some time... OK, what is your opinion about online dating? don't you think looks play a major role there? Also, I am no more in college. And it is never recommended to date a co-worker. So how do I put myself in situations where women can see my personality as well (as opposed to doing the cold approaches that i have been doing lately)? no. i didnt know him at all until last year. he rode my bus for a year and we didnt speak. until last year that is. of course looks play a major role in online dating, think about it. thats all you have to go off of. dont think about finding anyone--live--thats all you ever have to do. Dont think about asking anyone out, dont think about who you can meet where. Do what you want to do and dont worry about finding a mate. Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 dont think about finding anyone--live--thats all you ever have to do. Dont think about asking anyone out, dont think about who you can meet where. Do what you want to do and dont worry about finding a mate. Really? I am not sure what you mean by this. This can work for a girl because they get asked out. But it won't work for guys... because they are supposed to pursue and ask out women.. lots in fact to get a single yes. I do have to worry about finding a mate because I am going to be 34 in July. That's late already. And I got to find some one before my parents start pushing me towards the Arranged Marriage system. They have been patient with me so far hoping that I will find someone by myself. Link to comment
EQD Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Really? I am not sure what you mean by this. This can work for a girl because they get asked out. But it won't work for guys... because they are supposed to pursue and ask out women.. lots in fact to get a single yes. I do have to worry about finding a mate because I am going to be 34 in July. That's late already. And I got to find some one before my parents start pushing me towards the Arranged Marriage system. They have been patient with me so far hoping that I will find someone by myself. its more about your state of mind than anything. people get too antsy and trigger happy about dating. we forget that we have our own lives to live. Link to comment
dragon lady Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 hmm.. so you knew him for quite some time... OK, what is your opinion about online dating? don't you think looks play a major role there? Also, I am no more in college. And it is never recommended to date a co-worker. So how do I put myself in situations where women can see my personality as well (as opposed to doing the cold approaches that i have been doing lately)? I know you didn't ask me, but I'll chime in anyway. I think it's different with online dating because the women are actively seeking dates too. I never walk out of my house thinking "oh, I wonder if a guy will ask me out today?" If I was into online dating, then I'd be open to being approached. Looks would probably play a bigger part than offline, but only to the extent that they didn't look sleazy or scary. I do value my life somewhat. Link to comment
Ac143 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 its more about your state of mind than anything. people get too antsy and trigger happy about dating. we forget that we have our own lives to live. This is very true, everyone that is out there looking, looking & just looking but not living life & enjoying it are the ones that dont find that person. It does come when you least expect it. Every guy I met when I was "looking" never turned out to be the right guy anyway. Its when I finally gave up & decided Im gonna live my life for me & just be happy ...is when it happened. Link to comment
lifeiscash Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Gotta go with personality. Lot of fly looking women out there but not enough broads who can keep a stimulating conversation. They open their mouths and everything that was going for them has lost. Link to comment
BrunetteBarbie Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 hummm.. 10/10 looks, 9/10 personality and 10/10 personality and 9/10 looks... is not really that much of difference, lol.. You should put 5/10 vs 10/10 ~ Anyway personatliy as always counts lots more than looks... Looks still matter a lot to me, but I gotta have both. Link to comment
DaBladeRoden Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 hummm.. 10/10 looks, 9/10 personality and 10/10 personality and 9/10 looks... is not really that much of difference, lol.. You should put 5/10 vs 10/10 ~ Anyway personatliy as always counts lots more than looks... Looks still matter a lot to me, but I gotta have both. I'd take 10/10 all the way then Link to comment
fiona77 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 The ugly people will all say personality is more important. Kidding!!!! (or am I?) That's a tough one... Personality is extremely important, but they can't be a complete troll. I'd say 10 personality, 6 looks....... Link to comment
fiona77 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Equestriandynamo, I LOVE your avatar! Gotta love Patrick Bateman. Hey that's close to Bat-man....... Coincidence? I think not. Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 This is very true, everyone that is out there looking, looking & just looking but not living life & enjoying it are the ones that dont find that person. It does come when you least expect it. Every guy I met when I was "looking" never turned out to be the right guy anyway. Its when I finally gave up & decided Im gonna live my life for me & just be happy ...is when it happened. I can do the same thing IF women ask out men. But they don't. Link to comment
NightLily Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 ........I can do the same thing IF women ask out men. But they don't. I do. Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 ........ I do. you are an exception Link to comment
laisla Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 you are an exception i've done it too. Link to comment
madmarten Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Not ever been asked out by a girl here. It does depend how you meet, My SO & I met at work...my first reaction to seeing him was "he's so cute but not my type" Talking for 2yrs at work as friends changed that drastically & he's great/funny personality made him go from so cute to unbelievably sexy. Also this pretty much a stroke of luck that such a great guy was not scooped up by someone else before you two got together. I don't think anybody would advise a guy to wait two years while the girl you like at work comes around. Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 i've done it too. you are exception number 2 Link to comment
BrunetteBarbie Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 you are exception number 2 Uh guess what Ive done it too and probably will many times in the future, and lots of my female friends also.. Its not that uncommon, lol. Link to comment
Ac143 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Not ever been asked out by a girl here. Also this pretty much a stroke of luck that such a great guy was not scooped up by someone else before you two got together. I don't think anybody would advise a guy to wait two years while the girl you like at work comes around. He didn't wait, he was 25 when I met him & dating plenty of women those 2 yrs we worked together. We both had our own love lives going on....It really was just a stroke of luck that we got together in the end. Link to comment
EQD Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I can do the same thing IF women ask out men. But they don't. thats beyond the point, see your mind went straight into 'date date date i gotta be dating!!' no, you live your life the way you want to and dont worry at all about dating, when you cross paths with anyone then it will be naturally and then you will naturally get to know them, and then you can consider going or asking out on a date. but all this 'snag' dating style that is soo popular these days is extremely overrated and adds to the idea that you have to be constantly looking for someone to be with or else--- its complete crap. Link to comment
EQD Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Also this pretty much a stroke of luck that such a great guy was not scooped up by someone else before you two got together. I don't think anybody would advise a guy to wait two years while the girl you like at work comes around. yet another example of the type of mentality that needs to be banished. just because they knew eachother for that long doesnt mean they were interested at first, as she just explained. and also not every great guy is 'great' to every girl out there. My SO for instance.. alot of girls(and i mean ALOT) wouldnt at all be charmed with the things i know about him. Peoples personalities vary too much for partnerships to be a one size fits all scenario. Link to comment
NightLily Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 ^ agreed. Just as there are a multitude of personalities out there, there are also a multitude of ways to be attracted. Link to comment
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